Counting Down

We are mere days away from our big move! About 90% of our house is packed and still I feel like I have a million things to do.

Blah blah blah... who cares about my problems?

Cute things the kids have said recently:

* Clark talks in full sentences, uses words like "I" and "my" and "mine," and occasionally busts out with words I didn't know he knew like "princess" (we have zero princess-culture in our house) or "unbuckle." He has amazing manners, says please and thank you, and even says "Bless you, Mommy" when I sneeze (which totally melts my heart). He's very quick to tell you "I don't like that" or "I don't want that." His favorite song is  "Barbara Ann" by the Beach Boys. And he has this thing about putting laundry baskets on his head and then, in a staccato, mechanical voice saying, "RO-BOT! RO-BOT! RO-BOT!"

* Henry has been doing awesome, awesome, awesome in school and speech therapy lately. All of a sudden, a bunch of things have just started clicking for him. He's getting really good at following complex directions, and in a matter of weeks he went from recognizing none of the letters of the alphabet by sight to recognizing all of them. BOOM!

* We read a Sleeping Beauty story a few weeks ago and Georgia LOVED it. Now every night when she climbs into bed she says to me, "Mommy! I'm Sleeping Booty!" I know I should probably correct her mistake, but it's so funny and cute to me that I don't say anything. Bad parenting? Maybe. But if she ever needs a cool pirate queen name, she's already one step ahead of the game.

* Elise continues to say something ridiculous every single day. Today's gem was, "Mommy. I don't like to poop. When I poop, my bottom smells like buffaloes."

Recent Goings On

We're moving soon. I can't believe all of the stuff I have to do. So much stuff. So many kids. So many kids' toys and clothes and beds and winter jackets all the jackets why do we have so many jackets???

To further complicate things, I got a part time job that will start immediately after we move. I haven't worked outside of the home in over three years. Three years, two months, five days and counting. I'm kind of excited. Except for the fact that the only clothes I currently own are sweat pants and t-shirts stained with random collections of bodily fluids. So I guess I should update my wardrobe a bit. Or at least get some nice earrings to distract from the visible straps of the sports bra that I like to wear every day.

I told Elise today that I would be starting a job once we move.

"You'll be working with Daddy?" (Because everyone on the planet who works must go to the same place, right?)

"No, a different place."

"Will there be other mommies?"

"Yeah, actually, there's another mommy there."

"It's called Mummy Tummies?"

"Are you asking if the place I'll be working at is called Mummy Tummies?"

Glassy-eyed stare for about 5 seconds straight. And then, "It was a joke, Mommy."

"Oh, I see. Since there's two mommies there, you wanted to know if we'll be working at a place called Mummy Tummies. That's a good joke, Elise!"

More staring. "Yeah. It was a good one."

Oh, well. Can't win them all.

Story of a Surprise Baby

I found out recently that someone I know had a baby. A surprise baby. An "I Didn't Even Know I Was Pregnant" baby.

I'm shocked.

Shocked.

This person was 7 months along when she found out she was pregnant. And then she went into labor early, about a month and a half later.

Can you IMAGINE?

Surprise! You're going to have a baby in less than three months.... Wait! How about you have that baby RIGHT NOW?

The new mommy has some medical issues with her lady parts that precluded her from realizing that something was out of the ordinary. I guess because everything that goes on down there is already out of the ordinary. Plus, she was told that she's probably infertile, so I suppose that a pregnancy wasn't even on her radar as a possibility.

She's not obese or anything. She's curvy, but not fat. I guess she didn't show much. Some people don't. I am NOT one of those people, by the way. But apparently she is.

Crazy.

Anyway, the baby was teeny tiny when it was born-- less than 5 lbs-- but relatively healthy and it went home from the hospital after just a few weeks in the NICU.

The only other person I've ever known to have a pregnancy progress without their knowledge was 4 months along when she found out. And I thought that was bonkers.

Congrats to the new family!

Hello, Again

Well, we closed on the house. Husband and I now own two houses, which sounds a lot fancier than it really is. 

Good god, I hope we can rent out our first house.

We've been packing and trying to get two houses ready for the big move and otherwise just generally trying to get our shit together. 

Rather than blabber on about how stressful my life is right now, how about some Elisey talk?

She's still hellbent on embarrassing me at every opportunity. Yesterday in the grocery store, Elise sent an old lady in the cereal aisle into a giggling fit when she kept loudly declaring that we are all out of "peenie butter." Not peanut butter. Peenie butter. Over and over again. Peenie butter peenie butter peenie butter.

Then today at story time at the library, while we were singing one of the regular songs which repeats, "Turn to your neighbor and say how do you do, how do you do, how do you do..." Elise decided to change the words and started scream-singing "Turn to your neighbor and say how do you POO?" 

She's an imp. I love her. But she's an imp.

Closing On the House Soon!

We're closing on our new house next week!!!

Very exciting. Also, there is no way I will ever get everything done that needs to get done before we move and I am currently caught in a rapidly cycling loop of frantically trying to organize and accomplish everything, and then curling myself into a ball on the floor and letting the panic melt into despair.

On top of the inevitable stress that comes with moving, my car broke today. Broke broke. I was driving and it just stopped working. The engine made some dying noises, my power steering went out, then my brakes felt funny. Yikes. I managed to get my car off the road (fortunately no one was too close in front of or behind me) and I called for roadside assistance. Husband came to pick me up, and of course he brought the kids. Their lucky day. They LOVE tow trucks, and the fact that it was OUR car on a tow truck was extra exciting.

Mommy, of course, was less happy about the situation.

Broken Table and a Warning

What happened today? Well, let's see...

Our kitchen table broke and I got pulled over by a cop while I had all 4 kids in the car.

By the way, I was not pulled over for speeding or running a red light or anything like that. The reason I was pulled over was technically not my fault and I was given a warning. Elise did ask, though, as I was stopping the car if I was going to jail.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Cut, Cut, Smash

Clark had his first hair cut ever on Friday night. He had a little baby mullet, so I gathered up his wispy, softer-than-soft little hairs into a ponytail and snipped it off. I'm secretly trying to grow his hair long (not sure if Husband approves-- I'm not going to ask), but his bangs are so short that it all needs to even out, so trimming the back is a good step in the long-hair-plan. I saved the hair, of course. For now, it seems like the motherly, sentimental thing to do, but I'm pretty sure that in about 15 years I'll be stuffing it into a voodoo doll.

On Saturday, Clark got his first big boo-boo. He fell down when he was running on a sidewalk and skinned the crap out of his knee. It was quite bloody for a skinned knee. He cried, but he was over it within about two minutes and by the time we all made it back to the car to put antibiotic ointment on the cut, Clark was just annoyed that I wouldn't set him back down to play.

While I was washing Clark's knee off with some bottled water, Elise fell and scraped up her leg from her ankle (which got the worst of it) to almost all the way up to her knee. Unlucky day.

But the weekend injuries didn't stop there. Sunday was the worst.

On Friday Husband accidentally preheated the oven with a plastic container still inside. Plastic melted everywhere, got all over everything when Husband took the warped container out of the oven, and stunk up the house. We meant to clean the oven as soon as it cooled down, but then life happened and we kind of temporarily forgot the whole incident.

On Sunday I cooked chili for dinner and I decided at the last minute to bake some dinner rolls. When the oven beeped that it was done preheating, I flung open the oven door and was greeted with blast of toxic fumes. They floated right past my eyeglasses (or maybe THROUGH them, for all I know) and into my eyes. It burned like a motherfucker. I screamed, dropped to my knees, and hoped that I would be able to see whenever the next time is that I can convince my eyelids to open up despite the searing pain.

Husband ran in to help me, we washed my eyes out in the kitchen sink, and immediately started opening windows around the house. My eyes were watering like crazy, but I could still see, so that was reassuring. While I was in a back bedroom unfastening a window latch, I heard a sickening thud, Husband's voice, a pause, then Clark start screaming. Fuck! So I ran back into the living room to discover that Clark had walked into the front door while Husband was swinging it back and forth, trying to fan the fumes out of the house.

Clark's mouth was filling with blood and he had a CRAZY, pointy knot on the back of his head where he had fallen backwards and hit the ground. I started flipping out, as I am extremely not-calm when my kids get hurt, and decided to take him to the hospital. I was probably also hyper-emotional because I was still dealing with my own injury. It was just a bad situation, all around.

I got about half way there when Clark finally started to calm down, and I started to calm down, so I pulled over for a second to better assess the situation. Clark was clearly alert, hadn't thrown up, and when I shined a light in his eyes, his pupils constricted. So, probably not a concussion. His mouth was still bleeding, but all of his teeth were there and in the correct place, so probably no major dental problems. Clark's lip was swollen and puffy, but when I felt the back of his head the lump was already a bit smaller and less pointy. Okay. Okay. He's okay. I decided to go back home.

Clark got to eat vanilla ice cream and a bowl of frozen whipped cream for dinner, as he wouldn't let us put an ice pack on his lip and that was the best we could do. Today, the lump on the back of his head is much smaller, his lip looks normal, and there is hardly the faintest shadow of a bruise on his mouth.

About three times yesterday and then once today Clark said to me, "I mad!" (We teach the kids to say "I'm mad" instead of hitting each other or throwing a temper tantrum.) Each time I've said, "I'm sorry. Why are you mad?" and each time he's touched the back of his head and said, "Boo boo head!" Poor little guy. Very articulate for a 17 month old. I think his brain is working just fine.

Husband's really upset about the whole thing with Clark, as he feels responsible. It was an accident. And Clark won't even remember it.

Crazy weekend. Glad it's over.

Happy 4th Birthday, Henry!

Today was Henry's 4th birthday. He picked waffles for breakfast, which all of the kids were happy about. Right after breakfast, Husband and I gave Henry his birthday present-- a Spider-Man bike with training wheels. He was so happy. He did that is-it-really-mine? thing that little kids do, where he got a big smile on his face, then stood frozen for a few seconds, like he didn't know what to do next. but don't worry, he unfroze and then proceeded to ride his bike ALLLLLLL around the living room and down the hallway.

Henry went to school today, and Husband, Elise, Clark, and I brought cupcakes to his class during snack time. He enjoyed that a lot... but then got all weepy when it was time for us to leave. Dang. I hate that kind of guilt. Don't-leave-me guilt is the worst.

Henry chose a dinner of macaroni and cheese and hot dogs... I added peas to the menu. I love how unbelievably predictable the kids are when I ask them what they want to eat for meals on their birthday. 

Happy birthday, buddy! I'm so glad I got to share this birthday with you as your Mommy. I love you!

Where Has the Time Gone?

Aaaaaaah! How did so much time pass since my last post? Everything's a blur.

The past few days:

* We had a birthday party for Henry, Elise, and Georgia this past weekend. Their birthdays are all really close together. I asked them if they wanted their own parties this year or one party together and they wanted one together. Cute. That's probably the last time they'll ever want to have a group birthday party. But it was nice. It was at this kiddie play place where they had a bounce house, trampoline, swings dangling from the ceiling... all kinds of stuff. They even played the song "Who Let the Dogs Out," so you know it was a REAL party.

* The kids got lots of great birthday presents: toys, clothes, books, puzzles. They're totally loving life right now. And I'm trying to figure out where all of this stuff will go.

* We are almost done with buying our new house! We should get the closing date any day now.

* We took the kids to the new house this weekend. Our real estate agent couldn't meet us, but we went to the house anyway. One of the locks somewhere on the house is not secured, so we went in. Just a little trespassing with a tribe of toddlers. Or is that breaking and entering? Either way, who cares? I wanted to show the kids their new rooms. They're totally excited.

Elise's 3 Year Old Check Up

Elise had her 3 year old doctor's check up today. Her eyesight is spot on. She is 36 1/4 inches tall and weighs 30 1/4 lbs, which makes her in about the 25th percentile for height and about the 50th percentile for weight.

I asked the doctor about the discrepancy in her height and weight percentiles, because Elise doesn't look overweight at all. He said, no, she's clearly not. In fact, her BMI is within the normal range. So nothing to worry about.

Good!

Baby Man and the Bro Grabs; Toilet Troubles

Clark gives the manliest hugs. He throws one arm around my shoulder and heartily slaps my back three or four times. Like we're both 40 year old dudes, instead of mother and baby. Where did he get that from?

Also, tonight Clark pooped on the potty for the first time! Yay! He then immediately fell off the toilet and bumped his head on the ground. So what should have been an amazingly positive potty training experience turned into a potty trauma experience.  I'm sure that set us back months, and therefore effectively counts as the opposite of potty training. Goddammit.

Healthy Breakfast #4

I found another relatively healthy breakfast for the kids, bringing my new total up to four. My hungry little babies like oatmeal, but that instant oatmeal stuff is super bad for you. I found a recipe for steel cut oats that can be cooked in a crock pot, overnight.

Here's the thing about crock pots, in case you aren't familiar with using them: the food doesn't taste bad-- it's always better than just passable-- but it will never be delicious. The food cooked in a slow cooker always tastes a bit bland to me. Like some of the flavor was slow cooked right out of it. So what you gain in convenience you sacrifice in taste.

That said, this recipe for apple-cinnamon oatmeal is fairly yummy. Not perfect. But better than any instant version you'll get. And healthier, too.

Here's a link to the original recipe with pictures: here

And if you don't want to click anything or look at pictures:

Ingredients

• 2 apples, peeled, cored, cut into 1/2-inch pieces (2-1/2 to 3 cups chopped)
• 1-1/2 cups fat-free milk (or substitute non-diary alternative like almond milk)
• 1-1/2 cups water
• 1 cup uncooked steel-cut oats
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar (or substitute maple syrup or other desired sweetener)
• 1-1/2 tablespoons butter, cut into 5-6 pieces (optional)
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon ground flax seed
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• Optional garnishes: chopped nuts, raisins, maple syrup, additional milk or butter

Directions

Coat inside of 3-1/2 quart (or larger) slow cooker with cooking spray. Add all ingredients (except optional toppings) to slow cooker. Stir, cover, and cook on low for approx. 7 hours (slow cooker times can vary). Spoon oatmeal into bowls; add optional toppings, if desired. Store leftovers in refrigerator. Freezes well.

I doubled this recipe and cooked it in my 5.5 quart slow cooker with no problem-- everything fit and it cooked  fine. Every crock pot is different, though, so you'll have to watch the length of time you cook it for the first time you cook this recipe. I cooked mine for the full 7 hours, but it was starting to burn around the edges. I'll probably check it after 6.5 hours next time.

With this recipe doubled, we have enough for two breakfasts and still have some left over. Clark especially likes this oatmeal.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Goosey!

Elise had a very nice 3rd birthday today. She picked out the day's menu, so it was pancakes, blueberries, and orange juice for breakfast. She got to open her present in the morning and she was delighted to see that she got the roller skates she's been asking for forever. Also, elbow and knee pads, and protective gloves. Gotta stay safe.

After breakfast we all went to a local historical site (Elise wore her roller skates) and got the pleasant surprise that there was an archery demonstration today. Everyone got to shoot some arrows and Clark even got to hold a bow. Of course, Elise and Henry and Georgia each needed some help, but they all wanted to try it and that's the most important thing. My adventurous babies. It was fun!

Peanut butter and jelly for lunch. Elise is very predictable that way. Then after lunch and a nap, we made her birthday cake. The kids all got to help, even Clark, and they were excited to dump ingredients in the bowl and help hold the electric mixer.

We had pizza for dinner, with birthday cake and Sprite for dessert. We never have soda. Ever. Except for our trip one time to the Coca Cola museum in Atlanta, but that was literally the only time the kids have had soda. Getting soda today was an extra treat. The girls didn't even like it. Only Henry drank his soda.

After dinner, Elise wanted to watch "The Lorax," which they've seen probably about six times now. But the kids watched it from beginning to end. They really like it.

Elise said it was a good birthday. I'm so happy.

Happy birthday, Elise! I love you so much!

Enough with the Poop Jokes

Elise continues to think that poop is the funniest thing on the planet and does her very best to insert mention of it into every conversation possible. The other day as we were leaving the speech therapist's office:

Receptionist: Bye, Henry! Bye, Elise! See you soon!

Elise: Bye! See you... POOP!

And she runs away laughing.

I try not to react to most of her shenanigans, but she seems to intuitively know what's inappropriate. At the pharmacy a day or two later, Elise caressed her shirt and said in her loudest voice that was just barely not yelling, "Mommy! I have big nipples! I have HUGE nipples." She doesn't, by the way. But that didn't stop her from rubbing her nipples through her shirt, dancing up and down the aisle we were in, and singing, "Look at my big, big nipples! Look at my big, BIG nipples! Look at my BIG, BIG NIPPLES!!!"

I'm cataloging this stuff. And then as soon as she becomes a teenager, I vow to return each and every one of these little favors. Ten more years until her 13th birthday. I can't wait...