Monday Visit with My OBGYN

so, after the ultrasound where clark's weight was predicted to be 9 lbs 6 oz (surprisingly accurate!), i had a meeting with my obgyn doctor that afternoon to discuss the results. i was hoping she'd give me a strong recommendation one way or another as to what we should do about getting him out of my uterus. i knew, however, that she'd most likely present me with the facts and then let me decide what our next step would be. and that's exactly what she did.

i was given the choice of induction and an attempt at vaginal delivery (with the risks being that the baby might get stuck in the birth canal, leading to shoulder dystocia and possibly permanent injury or even death) or an elective c-section, which is major surgery. in reality, i probably could have lobbied to wait a bit longer to see if labor would start naturally, but the thought that clark would keep growing bigger and bigger alarmed me, and anyway i was so uncomfortable that i wanted him out as soon as possible.

i struggled with the decision between induction and c-section. i asked the doctor tons of questions, all of which she answered very honestly. she even admitted that as an obgyn she personally would feel more comfortable performing a c-section because that is a situation that she has more control over than waiting to see if something goes wrong with a vaginal delivery. she also stressed that she wasn't advocating for elective surgery and that her answer to my question was simply a response to dealing with what is mostly known vs what is mostly unknown.

husband admitted a preferance for an elective c-section, although he would support any decision i made.

believe me, it was a very, very, very hard decision. i was so afraid that choosing the induction could result in such a bad outcome that it would be a decision that i regretted for the rest of my life. especially since my sister had to have a c-section recently because her pelvis was too narrow for her baby, and he was under 7 lbs. maybe my pelvis is kind of narrow, too. we are sisters, after all. elise only weighed 6lbs 7 oz... there was nothing to prove that my pelvis could accomodate a 9 1/2 lb baby. that's a big baby for anyone, and i'm a petite person.

i cried and cried over this decision.

but i ultimately decided to trust in my body and believe that either i could do it, or if i couldn't then my body would let us know early on, before something bad happened. i told my obgyn that i wanted to try for a vaginal birth. the induction was scheduled for tuesday morning and my obgyn said that although a midwife would be delivering the baby, she would join us for the final stage of labor, that way she could step in if clark got stuck and some fancy maneuvering was needed.

needless to say, i got very little sleep monday night.