Looking Forward to Next Time

Just so you know, Elise slept in 1 and 1/2 hour bursts last night. No glorious 4 hour rest periods for Mommy.

I'm surprised at how well I can function on such little sleep. I don't really nap in the daytime. I'm just not very good at it. And anyway, Elise always knows when I'm sleeping during the day and wakes up within 15 minutes. So I've stopped trying. It just frustrates me and makes me feel more tired.

My exercise bike arrived, so now that I'll be able to exercise more, I'm hoping that the sleep that I do get is deeper and more productive sleep. I always sleep better when I'm in shape.

By the way, I totally love my new exercise bike, but putting it together was ridiculous. It was the coming together of every joke about how much it sucks to sit at home and assemble a toy/shelf/whatever just arrived in a box. The directions didn't match the diagrams, the directions completely left out a rather important step that I had to figure out on my own, and I needed extra tools to get the job done. Good thing I have a graduate degree AND I went to art school for a bit, because I needed all of my skills at interpreting both the written word and poorly rendered drawings.

My Name Is Mud

Elise is very gassy. Often when she poops, there is a noise like a large amount of wet earth and rock has freed itself from the side of a mountain. Husband and I refer to this as a "mudslide." We'll be sitting there, hear several seconds of rumbling from Elise's behind, and then shout "MUDSLIDE!" at each other.

Now, instead of the drawn out noise of a mudslide, there is also a single, violent burst of poopy noise-- the mud bomb.

Either way, WATCH OUT!

Oh, Joyous Day!

Elise just slept for four hours straight!!!

This is the first time in 7 weeks that I've gotten 4 consecutive hours of sleep. At first, I was literally getting 4 hours of sleep TOTAL each night. Her habit lately has been: sleep 3 hours, wake for an hour, sleep an hour and a half, wake for an hour, sleep an hour, wake up (and then it's time for me to get up and feed the cats).

I can't even explain how exciting this is.

Tonight at a foster parent meeting, I was talking to the foster mom of an 8 week old (Elise is 7 weeks old) and she asked me, "Is she sleeping through the night yet?" "Oh no. 3 hours is the longest she'll sleep." "He started sleeping through last week!" she beamed. She said it like we were having a contest and her baby had just won. Congratulations, lady. Formula-fed babies sleep longer at a stretch because formula is heavier in their tummies and they feel fuller longer. You aren't a better mother and you don't have a better baby-- you just don't breastfeed. Sheesh!

I have so much energy right now. My body is like, "It's time to get up now, right? You just got 4 hours of sleep, so it must be time to get up. I think you just overslept." I hope I can get myself back to sleep when the baby falls asleep again.

Giggles

When Elise laughed the other day, I thought it might have just been a fluke. Not so! I got her to laugh again last night. She did a better job of it this time, too, and didn't choke on her spit.

She's becoming so alert and involved when she's awake. Its awesome. She still sleeps a lot, but when she's awake she's actually becoming fun to play with. Interactive. I love it!

This Round's On Me

Today I had my first beer since I found out I was pregnant. Well, half a beer. Husband and I split one.

We had a Lindeman's framboise lambic, which is a raspberry flavored beer. It's goooooood.

I am a beer drinker. I enjoy the occasional mixed drink-- usually a cape cod or a rum and pineapple or an amaretto stone sour-- and I can drink a glass of wine if I'm trying to look more sophisticated than I really am. But mostly I prefer the taste of beer. So I had been looking forward to today for quite some time.

My diet didn't change much once I found out about the baby in my belly. I don't eat meat, so I didn't have to avoid cold cuts. I don't eat fish, so I could still eat my sweet potato sushi rolls without any fears. I don't smoke. But alcohol was out the window.

Now that Elise is here, I have a little more freedom regarding what I can choose to ingest. Breastfeeding still imposes a lot of restrictions, but fewer than when you're pregnant. I can't get drunk, but I can have a beer right after a feeding, so that the alcohol is out of my system by the time the baby is hungry again.

Sorry, Elise, no beer boobies.

Cervical Answers

So, I noticed the other day that my cervix feels different. I figured that there's probably nothing WRONG with it, since I just got an exam at my OBGYN's office and the midwife specifically said, "Great! Everything's back in place where it should be and healing just fine." But as I mentioned before with regard to my lady parts, there's a new "normal" after you have a baby.

So a quick Google search revealed that a woman's cervix IS different after a vaginal birth. Before birth, the opening of the cervix is a little round hole. After birth, it's a slit. Who knew?!

Seriously, why isn't there a chart or a spread sheet that they give pregnant ladies listing all of the changes that will happen to their bodies because of pregnancy and delivery? Dear pregnant lady, don't be surprised if you permanently go up a shoe size, if you never lose that last 5 pounds, if your hoo-hoo looks different, if your cervix has changed shape..."

Actually, the midwife did say one thing about my cervix as she was performing the pap smear during my exam last Tuesday. She said that my cervix was off to one side now. "Really? Will it stay like that?" I asked. "Maybe. But it's no big deal if it does. It won't effect your ability to get pregnant or have another vaginal delivery."

Gee, thanks.

Jury Doody

I knew this baby would be good for something.

I just got called for jury duty for the first time ever in my life. I'm 31 years old, and I'd never been called for jury duty until the other day. I got a card in the mail telling me when to report.

Crap, I thought, how's this going to work? Maybe I should start breastfeeding during jury selection and see if that influences their decision.

But then I read everything on the card I'd received and discovered that because I'd just had a baby, I could be automatically excused. Woo hoo!

I sent the card back in with an explanation of why I can't appear, and within a couple of days I got a letter excusing me from jury duty.

Justice was served.

Laugh and the World Laughs With You

The day before yesterday, Elise gave me her first social smile. She'd already smiled many, many times-- for gas, in her sleep, whatever. But the day before yesterday was the first time she smiled in response to something.

Then yesterday, Elise gave me her first laugh.

She woke up from a mid-morning nap super happy. She was smiling and cooing and looking generally delighted with just being awake. So I reached over and started tickling her tummy. She laughed. I don't think I was really tickling her, but just that she liked the extra attention.

She wasn't very good at laughing. She laughed for a second, then choked on her spit. It was so cute, though. I can't wait for her next laugh.

40 Days and 40 Nights

Okay, 42. I had my 6 week postpartum check-up yesterday. Everything's looking pretty good.

My umbilical hernia is healing and I didn't need a referral to a specialist to talk about surgery right now. I might in the future if it doesn't keep healing or if it gets worse. But it's doing okay for now. My belly button does NOT look how it used to. I sort of have an innie/outie where it doesn't pop all the way out, but it isn't all the way in, either. No bikinis for me. But my intestines aren't pouring out of my body and that's what's important.

I got the green light for exercising. My abdominal muscles have come back together and so long as I don't over do it before my hernia finishes healing, I can work out again. Yay!

No more "pelvic rest," either. My lady parts are recovered enough to start practicing babymaking once more.

I asked the midwife if my lady parts would ever look the same again. Basically, she said no. Right now, I barely recognize myself down there. It looks like something has forced itself out of my birth canal-- which it has. She has. And everything's different. The midwife said it will continue to get better and look more and more like what I'm used to, but it will probably never look completely how it did before the baby.

"You just can't push a baby out of your vagina and expect it to look exactly how it did before you got pregnant."

So, no more closeups while I'm filming my amateur pornos. Just kidding. My point is, who cares, right? It's a mark of mommyhood. One that no one but me and my husband will see. I have mourned the passing of my former lady parts and I am at peace with the new me.

Anyway, I got a prescription for the mini pill (birth control pill that doesn't contain estrogen). I still reeeeeeeeally want an IUD, but we're going to try the mini pill for now. The downside is that you have to take the pill at the same exact time every day or it doesn't work, and I have a horrible memory for that kind of remember-to-do-this-precisely-on-time sort of thing. So I'll be setting an alarm on my phone and hoping that prompts me to take the pill on time. Otherwise, hello Elise #2! (Grandmas and Grandpas, DO NOT JINX ME INTO HAVING ANOTHER BABY!!!)

Biiiiiiiicycle, Biiiiiiicycle

Husband and I ordered a stationary bike. I have 10 pounds to lose before I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I figure that I can ride the bike while Elise sleeps during the day. I need exercise.

I'm Starting To Take It Personally

You know how sometimes babies pee when you take off their diapers to change them? The cold air hits their tiny baby private parts and WHEEEE! Away they go!

Well, lately, Elise has been using me for target practice. She peed on my arm on Friday. I didn't even know girls could pee up into the air as high as she did. Then tonight, she waited and waited and just as I was reaching across the changing table, she took careful aim and soaked my outstretched hand.

So, good for you, my little sniper. You may currently lack eye/hand coordination, but you make up for it with eye/bladder coordination.

Post-natal Vitamins

Since I'm breastfeeding, I have continued to take my prenatal vitamins. I just assumed that that's what you're supposed to do.

At Elise's recent doctor's appointment, I asked her doctor if I should keep taking my prenatal vitamins, or if there's something better for breastfeeding moms. He said that prenatal vitamins are fine, and that any multivitamin would really be okay.

Confession: Turns out that I'm maybe a little sexist. When he said that any multivitamin would be okay, I was immediately skeptical. What does HE know about breastfeeding, I thought to myself. Totally unfair of me. But that was my initial reaction.

I Wish I Would Have Looked

There was a big mirror in the labor and delivery room. I could have watched Elise being born. Now, I wish I would have looked. At the time, however, it seemed like a bad idea.

First of all, it seemed a little impractical. I was squeezing my eyes shut tight with every push, so I wouldn't have seen much anyway. But aside from that, I was terribly afraid that I'd see something go wrong. That I'd watch my vagina rip open or something. I was in so much pain, I didn't know exactly what was going on down there and I didn't want to.

But now that I know everything turned out okay, I wish I could have seen her be born.

Baby I Got Yer Money

Who said having a baby has to ruin your finances? Since we've found out that I was pregnant, Husband and I have been very, very, ridiculously financially responsible. And as of last night, we paid off our last credit card. Woo hoo!

I just celebrated with a stack of Chips Ahoy cookies.

Water Bed

Elise's stupid diaper leaked last night while I was feeding her. I was laying down while I was breastfeeding, so she was laying next to me on the bed. My sheets were soaked. It sucked.

Driving In My Automo-squeal

For the past few days, Elise yells and cries for the duration of any car ride. I thought car rides are supposed to put babies to sleep. She just hates being strapped into her seat. She hates not being held and cuddled.

Hush Little Baby

Elise doesn't sleep for very long at night. Never has. For a while, she was only sleeping for roughly a half hour at a time. That was exhausting. Then, for about the past week, her routine was that she would sleep for an hour to an hour and a half, then be awake for an hour, and repeat that cycle throughout the night.

But things are looking up-- she slept for a 2 hour and 45 minute stretch last night! That's a new nighttime record. I'm hoping for a repeat performance tonight. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Ba-donka-donk

I fit into an old pair of pre-pregnancy jeans today! GRANTED, they were my "fat" jeans. And GRANTED, I can barely button them. And GRANTED, I have a muffin top aaaaaaall the way around the top of my jeans. But progress is progress.

1 Month!

Elise is one month old today. I can't believe that it's been a month already.

She had a well-child check-up today at her doctor's office. She weighed in at 8 pounds, 13 ounces and measured 21 and 1/4 inches long. That's the 45th percentile for weight and the 50th percentile for length. Officially no longer a Baby Baby. Now she's a totally average baby.

One month!

Oh, I love her.

Package From Enfamil

Got a package in the mail today from Enfamil, the formula company. There was a big container of powdered formula and four $5 coupons. Not bad. I guess signing up on their website is worth the trouble.

We don't use formula for Elise, but as foster parents, there's no telling when/if it might come in handy.

Breastfeeding Learning Curve

During my pregnancy I was very determined to breastfeed once the baby arrived, and I assumed that breastfeeding is something that comes naturally. That it's maybe a bit uncomfortable at first, but babies know how to eat, boobs automatically make milk, and what could the mom possibly do to mess up the breastfeeding process? Turns out, there's a lot more to breastfeeding than I originally thought.

At the hospital, I was getting conflicting information from the nurses, the lactation consultants, and my own body. Tired from labor and sleep deprived, I thought that I was incorrectly remembering what people were telling me-- that I kept doing things wrong, rather than realizing that different people were telling me different things. Things that sometimes directly contradicted what someone else had told me. I found out later that the nurses at my hospital are not required to have any formal training in breastfeeding, so many nurses are simply giving what they think is good advice, based on their own personal experience. And it's not always right.

On top of that confusion, the lactation consultants were having me pump my breast milk to "encourage my milk supply to come in." I realize now that my milk was coming in just fine. Elise was eating well, but the lactation consultants scared me into thinking that she wasn't and that if I didn't pump, my breasts wouldn't be stimulated enough to make the amount of milk that she'd need as she got bigger.

I wish I'd have paid attention to what was really going on. The hospital's lactation consultants were having me use this big, electric, hospital-grade breast pump... and telling me that I should rent it for when I went home with the baby. They were telling me that I would need to keep pumping and that the hand-pump that I had already bought wouldn't be as good as the electric one I could rent from them. That makes no sense to me now. But at the time, I believed them.

The first day or two of breastfeeding were hard, not only because I was being told that Elise wasn't eating enough (again, I don't believe that to be true now) but because my nipples got hurt from the way Elise was feeding. Little blood vessels in my nipples burst and it became very painful when Elise would feed. I continued breastfeeding her anyway. The nurses and lactation consultants kept trying to figure out what was going on, but Elise was making a good latch onto my breast most of the time, so they could never see what the problem was to help correct it.

On top of that, when my real milk started coming in and my breasts were sore from filling up I was encouraged to pump to relieve the pressure, but really it was overstimulating my breasts. Now, because of this bad advice, I make too much milk and I'm having to work at readjusting my body to make less milk.

One of our friends gave us a gift of two visits with a lactation consultant that works for a different company that the one hired by my local hospital. And this lactation consultant has been very good. Helped me a lot. I don't pump anymore, since there's no need for it right now. The new lactation consultant showed me how to hand-express milk, for when I need to relieve a little bit of pressure because the baby hasn't eaten in a while. Hand expressing won't stimulate my breasts as much, which is good because right now I want to encourage my breasts to make less milk.

Overproducing milk is hard on the baby, too. If there's too much milk, the baby ends up drinking mostly fore-milk, which is heavy in lactose, and not enough hind-milk, which is heavy in protein. Too much fore-milk upsets the baby's tummy, making her very gassy, making her spit-up a lot, and causing other problems.

Now that my milk supply is starting to adjust to the right amount for Elise, she and I are both a lot happier. I see why some people give up on breastfeeding (as opposed to making a conscious choice to quit for other reasons). I was very determined to make it work for us, and I'm grateful for the extra help that we got from the good lactation consultant.

Yay for boobie food!

Family Guy: Escaping the Womb

Just the Two of Us

Husband started back to the office yesterday. He had taken 2 weeks of vacation, then worked half-days from home for 1 week, then worked full-days from home for 1 week. Now he's back at work and it's just me and Baby Baby during the day.

I'm sure that eventually I'll figure out a routine or a schedule, but I'm taking it slow at first. Mostly just sitting around holding her, feeding her, changing her diapers. Kissing her face.

Raising a Healthy Eater

Just found a good resource for figuring out ways to raise a healthy eater. The state of Florida has a website, www.freshfromfloridakids.com, that provides tips to help parents develop good eating habits in their young children. There are lots of recipes on the website-- from baby food to family meals. And if you're a Florida resident (or if you know someone in Florida who doesn't mind you using their mailbox) then you can receive a "healthy eating kit," which appears to consist of a tote bag, a recipe book, and other assorted eating-related items.

5 Days At the Hospital

After Elise was born, we had to stay at the hospital for 5 days, instead of the expected 2 days that my hospital requires for a vaginal delivery. We had to stay longer because both Elise and I had elevated white blood cell counts. Infections. Neither of us had any other signs of infection-- no symptoms or signs of what the infection could be-- but the doctors didn't want it to get any worse, so we were both given rounds of antibiotics to make sure we were healthy when we left the hospital.

They gave both of us our antibiotics intravenously. That meant that I had to keep an IV in for 3 days, and poor Baby Baby had an IV for 5 days. Her little arm was taped to a board that kept it straight, with the IV near the inside of her elbow. It broke my heart. I'm glad that she won't remember what that was like.

My doctor actually wanted me to stay in the hospital as a patient for 4 days instead of 3, to keep receiving antibiotics. But my IV infiltrated on the second day and they had to put a new one in. When an IV infiltrates, the blood vein kind of gives out somehow and the fluid from the IV just starts leaking into the surrounding tissue. So I started to get this painful lump on my arm and they had to stop the IV and give me a new one in my other arm. That lump of fluid-y tissue HURTS. And I was already annoyed about having the IV in the first place, so having to get a second one really upset me.

On the third day my second IV infiltrated. I refused to let them put in a third IV. My white blood cell count was a lot better and the doctor was going to give me oral antibiotics anyway, so I told the midwife that I wanted to forgo the fourth day of IV antibiotics, since they were only having me do a forth day because Elise wasn't going to get discharged until the fifth day and they figured that they might as well give me an extra day of IV antibiotics just to be safe. I was happy to have the IVs out, but then I had painful fluid-y lumps on both arms, due to the two IV infiltrations.

Then, on the 4th day, Elise was given a spinal tap. The doctors wanted to make sure that she didn't have meningitis. If she did, she'd have had to stay in the hospital for 14 days. Otherwise, 5 days worth of antibiotics was determined to be enough. The test came back negative for meningitis, thank goodness.

I was discharged on the third day, but Husband and I were allowed to stay at the hospital in our same room until Elise was discharged on the fifth day. At my hospital, if you have a baby that's receiving medication there, the parents can stay in a room (as if it were a hotel room) so as to be close to the baby. They call it "nesting." I think that's really nice. So I still got to breastfeed her every two hours and change her diapers and know everything that was going on.

It was so nice to finally have her discharged on the fifth day. Take her home. Start our home life with a brand new baby. A healthy baby and a healthy momma.

Grandma Shower

My mother's coworkers threw her a grandma shower and my mom brought us the gifts this weekend. Elise got lots of great stuff! We're so lucky that so many people want to celebrate our beautiful baby's arrival.

Baby Baby

I call Elise "Baby Baby," as in "you are a tiny little version of a baby." She was so small when she was born, and she still is small. People comment on it all of the time. Just yesterday at the grocery store, one of the cashiers that we used to see a lot when I was pregnant came up to us to see the baby.

"She's so small! How big is she?"

"Just a little over 7 pounds right now."

"Oh, see my daughter had my first grandbaby 7 months ago, but she was never that tiny. She was 9 and 1/2 pounds when she was born..."

Baby Baby is growing fast and soon she won't be a baby baby anymore. But I'll probably still call her Baby Baby for a while-- it's become a habit.

Advice, If You Want To Get Pregnant

For anyone considering becoming pregnant, the best piece of advice I can give you is to make sure that you have good insurance.

The hospital sent us some statements letting us know what it was billing my insurance company. Our total cost to have Elise would have come to over $17,000-- instead, we're paying $250. I wonder how much more it would have cost if I'd had an epidural. Or a c-section.