Elise's Bad Dream

Elise woke up crying around 10pm last night. I think she had a bad dream. She was talking crazy talk. She was really concerned about our cat Beanie and about Clark. In fact, I had to get Husband to bring Clark into her bedroom so she could see him again and kiss him good night.

When she's sick or sad she says "I lub you" a lot. I lub you Momma. I lub you Daddy. While Clark was in the room she was even yelling "I lub you Baby Clark!"

When I first went into her room she was asking me to turn on the light. "Light on! Light on!" Then she was asking about Beanie and Clark. Elise kept insisting that Husband wasn't at home. She was saying "Daddy be right back?" and "Daddy working?" She was all confused.

She kept crying and crying. At one point as she was sobbing she trailed her finger down my cheek and said, "I crying Momma." It was the saddest thing. I choked up. Poor Elisey.

8 Weeks and an IUD

Happy 8 week birthday, sweet baby Clark!!!

In honor of my two amazingly perfect children and the idea that I should quit while I'm ahead, today I made sure that no more babies tumble out of my baby tunnel. IUD!!!!

I got a Paragard IUD, which is the non-hormonal copper IUD that lasts for 10 years. 10 years! I'll be in my 40s by the time I have to think about birth control again. Booyah!

Let me be honest for a second, though. A small, weird, highly emotional and totally illogical part of me felt sad about getting the IUD. Here's what happened in the "crazy" compartment of my brain. I thought about how I wanted to get an IUD after I had Elise, but we didn't because it was so expensive. We decided to use the mini pill instead. But I suck at taking pills and blah blah blah and then when Elise was 10 months old I found out that I was pregnant again. Which was a shock. But now I'm so happy for it-- I love Clark to pieces. If I'd have gotten the IUD, though, we'd have never had him. So getting an IUD this time for some reason makes me feel a little bit sad, as if I might be stopping more amazing babies from being born.

BUT

#1. That's the whole point, right? I don't want to have any more babies in my belly. So I'm sad that I'm keeping myself from getting pregnant when I know that I don't want to get pregnant? What? How does that make sense?

#2. You can take the IUD out whenever you want and potentially get pregnant again right away. So if Husband and I ever decided to have another biological child, we can. It's not like I got my tubes tied. It's totally reversible.

#3. There is still a teensy weensy chance that I could get pregnant, even with the device in. So if it is really really meant to be, then I'll get pregnant again. If I believed in fate. Which I don't. But I do believe in science. And science says that with the IUD in I have slightly less than a 1% chance of growing another baby in my belly before I go through menopause.

So whatever. I was sad for a second and now I'm like "Yay! No more babies for me!"

The procedure itself was pretty quick. And I didn't feel any pain, but I guess some people do. I've had some cramping this evening, but nothing crazy. And certainly nothing like labor pains (ha!), so the mild discomfort is worth it.

YAY! No more pills, condoms, counting days on the calendar, checking my cervical mucous, or worrying about getting pregnant again for 10 YEARS!!!

Near Miss

Last Tuesday, the morning after Elise's ER visit, Clark developed another fever. I couldn't believe it. I called Husband to come home and stay with Elise, I called the doctor's office and they told me to come in right away, and while I waited for Husband's arrival I packed a suitcase for the hospital. Since Clark was still under 2 months old, I was pretty sure we'd have to be admitted to the hospital again. I assumed I was going straight from the doctor's office to the hospital, like the last time Clark had a fever.

When Husband got home I cried. Told him how I don't want to watch the nurses and doctors poke and pull at Clark again (during his last stay the nurses took over an hour to make 4 attempts at inserting an IV before they finally gave up-- it was awful, AWFUL). Then I packed up the car and went to Clark's doctor's office.

By the time we got there, Clark's fever was down from 100.9 to 100.3. The doctor looked in his ears during the exam. Ear infection! I was happy there was an obvious reason for Clark's fever, but I thought I'd still have to go to the hospital for at least one day of observation.

Fortunately for us, my doctor recently cared for another baby that was only 1 month old and had RSV. A few weeks after the baby got over the RSV, he developed a fever and an ear infection. The ear infection was related to the RSV. They treated the ear infection an the baby was A-OK; there were no other underlying problems. So my doctor said that we could make a follow up appointment for the next day and in the meanwhile he was sending me home with some antibiotics. If the fever comes down and Clark is doing okay the next day, no hospital. Clark looked perfectly healthy except for the ear infection and his oxygen levels were great, so the doctor felt okay taking a small risk in believing that the ear infection was what was causing Clark's fever.

I was elated.

By 2am that night, Clark's fever was gone. Whew! Close one! I can't believe that we almost went to the hospital for a 3rd time before Clark was even 2 months old!

A for Effort

Tonight I tried for the first time ever to cornrow hair. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best possible execution, I'd give myself a solid 1.5. And that's just out of pity. For myself. Hey, at least I tried. I don't know anything about doing hair. I barely brush my own. I cut my hair short so I don't have to brush it. And I don't wear make up. Not like "I just throw on a bit of blush and some mascara before I leave the house," but seriously, I don't wear make up. So what do I know about styling hair into a shape that requires some actual skill? I have two younger sisters but we did NOT sit around doing each others hair. Ever. That did not happen.

I think that if I keep trying, eventually I'll get better at braiding cornrows. I might not have years of experience with pretty lady rituals, but I DO have perseverance. Hang tight, Georgia! Eventually I'll figure it out!

Interactive Clark

clark is just beginning to become interactive. eye contact. smiles. sweet baby coos. i love it.

he's still gigantic, by the way. about 13 pounds right now. the other day someone in the grocery store said, "aww, how cute! how old is he? 4 months? 5 months?" when i said he's 7 weeks old the person looked at me like i was crazy. like i, his mother, didn't know what i was talking about.

Pee Pee Bed

today at nap time elise took off her diaper and then ended up peeing in her bed. she was very upset by this. so much so that she just woke up crying during the night, after she was put down for the evening, which she doesn't normally do unless she's sick. i asked her what was wrong.

"why was elise crying?"

"diaper off."

she was wearing zipped up footie pajamas, so she clearly didn't mean her diaper was off tonight. she was thinking about earlier in the day.

"your diaper was off?"

"pee pee bed!"

"you peed in your bed? that's okay. it was an accident."

"cleaning?"

"yes. we cleaned your bed."

"cleaning pee pee bed?"

"your bed is clean now."

poor elise. hopefully she's learned her lesson. diaper on.

Happy Thanksgiving!

this year i am thankful not only for my amazing children, but also for the fact that no one is in the hospital right now. clark almost had to go back to the hospital this week. for real. i'll tell you about that later. i'm slipping into a pumpkin pie coma...

Croup

elise was diagnosed with croup last night. she was given a steroid to help control the inflamation in her throat, and she should be better relatively soon. croup is a viral infection, so it will just have to run its course.

i was up last night until after 4 am, clark got up to feed at 5:30 am, and the big kids woke up at 7:30 am. i've been awake ever since. i'm tired. it's been a loooooong day.

I Think We've Earned Our Own Parking Space

Elise is at the hospital right now with Husband. She woke up crying, having trouble breathing, making noises in her throat like a seal barking, and saying "boo boo!" We called 911.

The EMTs seemed to think it is croup. I hope so. It was a very sudden onset-- she was perfectly fine just 3 hours prior when we put her to bed. But RSV can cause croup and we know that Clark had RSV sooooo...

I'm waiting to hear from Husband about what the ER doctor says. I stayed home with Clark, Henry, and Georgia (who all managed to sleep through the commotion). So far I know that Elise's oxygen levels were okay and she doesn't have a fever. Not being able to go with her killed me. I needed to stay with Clark, since he's breastfeeding. Husband will take care of our Baby Baby.

Update tomorrow...

Cost of Having Clark

We just got a statement from the hospital regarding Clark's birth. If I didn't have insurance, it would have cost about $8,000 to have Clark in our local hospital. I do have insurance, though, and it only cost us $250 because that is what our copay costs. There were prenatal check-ups with my OBGYN, too, but I'm just talking about the actual labor and delivery and postnatal hospital stay. I remember that Elise's birth cost a lot more (over twice what Clark's cost), but she had to stay in the hospital for an extra 3 days after she was born.

Babies are expensive.

Henry and Georgia's Foster Care Case

Right now, Case Manager and Guardian Ad Litem have serious doubts that Henry and Georgia's mom will be able to complete her case plan and prove to the court that she can provide for and protect her four kids. The State will likely pursue a termination of her parental rights, meaning that she will no longer legally be their mother. If that happens, they won't be able to return to her care or live with her ever again.

Georgia and her little sister Eve have the same father. He's still in the picture. He may be able to regain custody of them in the future. That's still waaaaaay up in the air, but it is possible none the less. If their mom loses her rights to parent the children, Georgia and Eve may eventually be able to live with their dad.

Henry and the oldest sibling, Susannah, both have different fathers from each other and from Georgia and Eve. No one knows who their fathers are and the court has listed their legal fathers as "unknown." If their mom loses her rights to parent them, Susannah and Henry will need to be adopted. No one in their mother's family is suitable to adopt young children, so they will need to be adopted by non-relatives.

Case Manager seems to be thinking that Henry is on the path toward adoption. If that is the case, we will be asked if we'd like to adopt him. Husband and I have been talking about this possibility. Georgia, however, is still in limbo until her father proves whether he can parent her, and that may take a long time to figure out. If he can parent her, she will eventually return to his custody. If he cannot parent her, his parental rights will be terminated and she will either be adopted by another family member on her father's side or she will need to be adopted by a non-relative (such as her foster parents).

It'll be a few months until we know whether Case Manager is in fact going to request of the court that the mom's parental rights get terminated. And then after that there has to be a hearing and then we have to wait for the judge's decision. So nothing is going to happen with regard to Henry until well after the new year. I'll post updates as they happen.

That Was Quick

After I had Elise, it took about 6 months until mommy and daddy time was 100% pleasurable for me again. I had some amount of pain for so long that I was just about to make an appointment with my OBGYN, and then the pain started to subside. Like, I seriously thought that maybe sex would never feel good again.

Well, it did. And just in time for me to get pregnant with Clark.

So when Husband and I decided recently to give it a go 6 weeks after 9-pounds-of-baby-out-the-hooha, I was a bit nervous. If you were inside my head you would have heard, "Okay. Okay. You can do this. It'll be okay. Try to look sexy. Or at least relaxed. Or at least not like someone's about to stab you with an ice pick in your lady parts. Let's just get this over with. Okay. It's okay..."

I'll spare you the details, BUT let me just say that everything went fine. No pain. I couldn't believe it! It was amazing.

Then I realized that my body is now in this fulfill-my-biological-purpose-and-stuff-me-full-of-babies mode, making everything about sex and conception exponentially easier. My baby pump has been primed. Look at how quickly I got pregnant with Clark after Elise was born. I'm STILL in shock that I got pregnant a second time. And now, after Clark, by body is even quicker to jump back into form for baby making. Yikes!

I'm definitely getting an IUD this time. Husband and I have discussed it. It's going to happen. Soon. Elise and Clark are the best things that have ever happened to me, but I'm done with biological children now.

Swaddling; Milk Conversation

Elise liked to be swaddled when she was an infant. She wanted her arms pinned down straight against her sides (instead of folded across her chest like they try to teach you to do it) and the swaddle wrapped tight. Clark can't stand to have his arms wrapped up. From day one, he fussed and pulled his arms out if you tried to wrap them. He likes to have a blanket wrapped around his legs and his middle, but not his arms. I'm convinced it has something to do with the fact that he was such a big baby and I'm not such a big momma. Like, some kind of claustrophobic reaction from being cramped up in my tiny uterus.

Non-sequitur...

Elise has been wanting to talk a lot lately about the fact that Clark drinks "mommy milk" and she drinks "cow milk." I guess because she just stopped breastfeeding, and because Clark just started. This was our conversation tonight before bed, right after I'd finished feeding Clark:

"Baby Clark eat milk."

"Yes."

"Mommy milk."

"Yes. Clark eats mommy's milk."

"Elise cow milk."

"Yes. Elise eats cow's milk."

Pause.

"Elise kitty-cat milk?"

"Noooo. Elise doesn't eat cat's milk. We don't eat cat's milk. Just cow's milk."

Another pause. Then Elise smiled.

"Dinosaur milk?"

"All right. Now you're just being silly."

Elise's Favorite Web Game

Good for occupying Elise so I have a few minutes to fold laundry: GAME

Disposable vs Washable Nursing Pads

I tried disposable nursing pads for the first time today. There were a couple of them in the "bringing home baby" package that the hospital gave us after Clark was born. I've been using washable cloth nursing pads since I had Elise, figuring it was worth the little bit of extra hassle in order to save some money. My boobs leak like a faucet sometimes. They've definitely leaked through the cloth nursing pads on a few occasions.

Disposable nursing pads have plastic-y backs so you can't leak through them. They also have sticky stuff to help hold them in place in your bra. HOWEVER, the nursing pads didn't really seem to stay put. After unlatching and latching my bra a few times, the nursing pads were crumpled up and sticking to themselves rather than my underclothes. Plastic backing or not, if the pad doesn't stay put in front of my leaky nipples, then there's no point in wearing the nursing pad. Even though the cloth ones don't have stickiness, they seem to stay in place for me.

I'm sticking with the cloth washable nursing pads. There wasn't enough benefit to the disposable ones for me to want to switch.

Big Baby

Clark had a post-hospital doctor's check up today. He is healthy and wonderful. And he weighs 12 lbs already. He's not even six weeks old and he fits into size 6 months clothes and size 2 diapers. What the what?

Like a Bowl Full of Jelly

I gained 36 pounds during my pregnancy with Clark. More than with Elise, but I was also pregnant longer with Clark.

I lost 15 pounds right away, as soon as Clark was born. Bam! Then another 6 sort of slipped off on its own. I still have 15 more pounds to lose. All of this sitting around in hospital rooms hasn't helped me slim down. Hopefully I can get a little bit of an exercise routine going soon. I consider the first month after I have a baby to be R&R time-- just eat, relax, and don't worry about the weight. But Clark is 5 1/2 weeks old now, so no excuses.

Time to dust off the exercise bike, crack open the yoga book, and plug in Wii Fit.

Boo Boo Plane

elise saw a blimp today. she was very interested in it. she asked if it was a "boo boo plane," i guess because it had no wings. she must have thought that it was a broken airplane. i explained that it was a blimp, so elise then referred to it as either a "blip," "bloomp," or "gloop."

"boo boo plane bloomp sky! bye bye yellow blue blip! blip? sky? blip! balloon? balloon! bloomp!"

it was cute.

Hospital, the Sequel

clark was admitted to the hospital yesterday. he had another fever, and at 5 weeks old that's pretty much a go-directly-to-jail card. they ran all the tests-- nothing major showed up, so it looks like clark just caught another virus right on the heels of recovering from that last respiratory virus and his little body wasn't quite prepared to deal with another bug.

we were discharged today and we're back home now. only one night in the hospital. i couldn't post on the blog yesterday because my cell phone died early in the evening. i'll tell you all about our second trip to the hospital later, in another post. i'm very tired right now.

so glad to be sleeping in my own bed tonight. so so so glad that my sweet little babu is doing okay.

Post-delivery Pains, Baby #2

I never really did discuss what happened to my body due to labor and delivery of Clark. I have to say that my experiences with Elise and with Clark were totally different. With Elise, everything was pulling and stretching for the first time. With Clark, his large size was the issue. As I mentioned before, I was able to endure the pain of Elise's birth without an epidural, but Clark was just too big and I needed help with pain management in order to get through his birth.

After Clark was born, I got a few stitches in my lady parts where I tore. But the tear and the stitches never bothered me. I never felt extra pain there, it didn't hurt when I peed. Nothing.

I got a small (according to the nurses) hemorrhoid-- I guess from pushing. It didn't bother me for a little while. I didn't really feel it until about 4 or 5 days after Clark was born. It's still not completely healed. Mostly, but not entirely. I only really feel it when I wipe my butt. For a while it was sore every time I sat down, but as it healed, that went away. Weird that I pushed a giant baby out of my vagina, but it's my butt hole that's sore for weeks. Go figure.

And my pelvis! Oh, lord, my pelvis hurt after Clark was born. Right up front. The pubic arch area. I could barely walk for about a day and 1/2. I seriously thought I may have fractured my lady bones. God almighty, it hurt. And like an idiot, I kept refusing pain medication. I refused it until I started having really painful post-delivery contractions as my uterus was shrinking back down, and then the pain of my pelvis and my uterus together became more than I wanted to deal with so I finally took some Motrin.

The only other big pain that I had after Clark was born was from the epidural. It felt like I had a big bruise on my back where they had put the needle in. I didn't-- I kept making Husband and the nurses check for me. Apparently pain at the site where the epidural was inserted is pretty common, so no big deal. It went away after a couple of days.

I feel good now. It took a couple of weeks to feel normal again. Mostly the pelvis pain just kept lingering forever... my hips will probably never shrink back to their pre-Clark size. He was worth it, though. Of course, he was worth every bit of it.

Snot A Good Idea to Eat That

Tonight Elise stuck her finger up her nose.

"Mucous?" (This is what Husband has taught her to call whatever comes out of her nose because he so hates the word "booger.")

"Yeah, Elise. Mucous. Let me get you a tissue."

While I went to get her a tissue, Elise sat there and played with the booger on her finger. When I came back she looked at me and asked, "Eat eat?"

"No. We don't eat that."

Thanks for asking, though. Lots of kids would have just figured it out the hard way. Or not figured it out and subsequently become that-kid-in-class-who-eats-his-boogers. I'm glad we got this out of the way so early on.

Flu Shots

Husband and I got our flu shots today. Elise got hers weeks ago. Henry and Georgia will get theirs in about a week at their doctor's office. Clark is too little to get a flu shot, which is why everyone in the house is getting one. I am NOT sitting at the hospital for another two weeks while Clark recovers from a common illness. (Unless I have to. But I don't want to have to.)

Clark's Smooth Baby Skin

Most newborns have weird skin. They get baby acne or milia or red rashes. Elise had all of that when she was little. Plus cradle cap. I've seen some babies that look mildly grotesque because of their sensitive newborn skin. They outgrow it, of course, but that old saying "a face that only a mother could love" totally applies to some of those poor, spotty, red-faced, flaky kids.

Clark came out with nice skin. Hardly any of that newborn stuff. And he still has nice skin. It's a little dry, but other than that he's looking pretty good. Maybe the extra time incubating helped.

Henry's Ears

It's getting wintery. Cold and flu season. Ear infection season. And guess who has an ear infection. Henry.

You'll recall that we nearly got ear tubes put in Henry's ears this past spring, due to his chronic ear infections and consequent speech delays. Then summer rolled around and his ears cleared up and his doctor said that we should wait until next ear infection season to see if he continues to have a problem or if he's outgrown it. But guess who has an ear infection. Henry.

So. Here we go again. Hopefully his doctor will just cut to the chase this time and not make Henry suffer through too many ear infections or too many rounds of antibiotics before referring Henry for ear tube surgery.

Happy 1 Month Birthday, Clark!

One month old today! Yay!

Clark had a check-up today. He is 23 1/4 inches long, which is in the 98th percentile, and 11 lbs and 1 oz, which is in the 80th percentile. Still gigantic! I am, like, 5 feet tall. This makes no sense.

Bye Bye Boobies

Elise hasn't breastfed for the past week. She was only nursing right after she woke up in the morning and right before bed at night. Since I was staying with Clark in the hospital, it seemed like a good time to wean her. I wasn't at home for her morning and evening feedings, so she got used to nursing for a really short time when she came to visit me in the hospital, and then the last few days of the hospital stay she didn't nurse at all. When I came home, she'd ask for milk at the usual times but I've just been offering her a sippy cup with cow's milk and she accepts that as a less-than-perfect replacement.

I breastfed Elise for 19 months. I'm so glad that we got to bond that way.

Hospital Nurse from Clark's Birth

during my second day in the hospital while i was recovering from childbirth, one of the nurses came in my room to check my vital signs right after my sister had left from a visit. the nurse lit up when she saw me and said that she remembered me from when i was in the hospital after i had elise. she said she just saw my sister in the hall and she remembered her, too, from when she was in the hospital after having her son. it's nice that the nurse remembered us both and kind of neat that she was a part of every birth experience that my sister and i have had.

So Long, Stumpy!

clark lost his umbilical stump yesterday, just shy of his 4 week birthday. my silly baby boy does everything late-- he was over due and i had to be induced, our estimated "few days" in the hospital while he recovered from r.s.v. turned into over two weeks in the hospital, and while most babies lose their umbilical stump within the first two weeks, clark took almost 4 weeks. all signs are pointing to my son still living at home when he's 30, as he seems keen to take his sweet time accomplishing milestones. maybe you're just a late bloomer, little guy.