Children's Books

Today I read Elise "The Tawny Scrawny Lion." I had a copy of the book when I was little and I bought one for Elise because I remembered liking the story.

This book, by the way, may have been one of many small contributing factors to my eventual decision to become a vegetarian. In the story, a lion who eats other animals but is always hungry ends up at a bunny rabbit's house and is ultimately satisfied when he fills up on carrot stew. So he doesn't have to eat the other animals anymore. And everyone's happy.

I also think that the movie "Charlotte's Web" influenced my decision not to eat meat. That part where the girl pleads with her father not to kill the runt piggie broke my heart every time I saw that movie. I was very sensitive to the plight of anthropomorphized animals while I was growing up.

Anyhow, I've noticed that I do this thing when I'm looking for books or movies for my kiddies. I see something from my childhood and say, "Oh! I had this when I was little. Its very good. We should get it." Why would the stories from my childhood be any better than the stuff they have now?

Because they ARE, dammit! Dora the Explorer has got NOTHING on old school Sesame Street. Or Mr. Rogers (who was a vegetarian, by the way).

Oh, Elise. I hope you enjoy "The Tawny Scrawny Lion" as much as I did.

Co-inky-dink

You know how Abe Lincoln was shot in Ford Theater and JKF was shot while riding in a Ford Lincoln? Interesting coincidences, right? Well check this out. I was born on 11/16... and Elise was born at 11:16 pm!!!

Crazy!

There's Probably a Good Reason for This

I have a theory as to why my hair is falling out like crazy now. It must serve as a distraction. It's a self-defense mechanism, like lizard tails. The baby pulls my hair, and a few strands willingly sacrifice themselves for the greater good of all the hairs. That way, baby's little hand can slip free and mommy can eventually escape.

That's got to be it.

Unswaddled

Elise slept unswaddled last night. She fell asleep before I swaddled her and I figured I'd just put her in her bassinet and see how long she'd sleep. She slept through the night.

I'm glad that she doesn't need swaddling anymore, because now that she can roll onto her belly I was getting nervous that she would loosen her swaddling blanket and then turn into it, suffocating herself.

As I was falling asleep last night, I wondered if I would like how it feels to be swaddled, now, as an adult. Would I enjoy being wrapped tightly in a blanket? Would I feel safe and secure? Or would I feel confined?

I'd probably feel like a patient in a mental hospital. Like, an old-time mental hospital. Straight jackets and lobotomies and Nurse Ratched type mental hospital.

Maybe that's why Elise doesn't want to be swaddled anymore. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" hit a little too close to home for Baby Baby.

Sleep Over

Foster Son stayed the night with us one day this week. His mom had something she needed to do early in the morning one day and asked us to watch him. We were more than happy.

Having a 3 year old dropped into your life is such a learning experience for a couple that has never raised any children together before. It creates a lot of artificial situations, of course. If Foster Son had been with us since he was born, he would have understood our house rules intuitively and would have had different relationships with us as his parents. But Husband and I really learned a lot about how we parent individually and as a couple.

It was nice having him in our house again.

Sex Offender Registry and Other Stuff

I was up late last night looking at my state's list of registered sex offenders. There's one in my neighborhood. :( Also, someone I went to high school with is on the list. Friend of a friend type of person-- no one I knew well, but someone I was in social situations with. He got caught masturbating at a bus stop. Who DOES that, right?! Well, I know who...

Also, I didn't mention it last week, but I left Elise for the first time ever last Wednesday. I had an interview for a teaching job. A part-time thing that will help me stay home with Elise longer. So I had to go. If I can do anything to stay home longer and not put Baby Baby in day care, then that's my top priority.

I was a nervous wreck on Tuesday. Not because of the interview but because of leaving Elise. I'm talking mild panic attack nervous. Husband was going to watch her and I know that he's more than capable. I expressed some milk so he'd have it if he needed it. I KNEW everything would be okay. But I had major separation anxiety.

Anyway, everything went fine. Elise didn't even miss me. I have training classes to go to in August so that I can teach in the fall. And now I've passed the major milestone of being away from my baby for more than 1 hour and for a greater distance than a few dozen yards.

Oh, and Elise laughs for real now. Like "ha ha ha ha ha ha" and not just one smiley "ha." It's awesome.

Shake, Rattle, and ROLL

Elise just rolled over on her own, back to belly!!! 15 weeks old today. Not bad, little lady. Not bad at all.

It was amazing to watch. She was on her playmat, twisting her body around like she's been doing lately. But I noticed that she had a slightly different technique today. She got her legs and hips twisted first, then rolled the rest of the way, up onto her elbows.

Wow. She's growing up so fast.

Tears!

Elise cried her first spill-down-her-cheeks tears yesterday. I kissed them away. My dear baby girl.

Father's Day & Other Stuff

Happy Father's Day!

Today is technically Husband's second Father's Day, as we had received our foster care license and had two children placed in our home during Father's Day last year. For his first Father's Day, I got Husband some gag gifts-- Super Mario pajama pants, a tie, and a nose hair trimmer. Stereo-typical Father's Day presents.

This year I got him something he wanted. An Iron Gym. It's that thing that you can hang on your door frame so you can do pull-ups. Google it. You'll be like "oh, yeah-- THAT thing." I swear he wanted it. He's been talking about it for like, a year.

In other news:

* Elise is great at rolling onto her side now. She goes from her back to her side all the time by lifting her legs into the air and using their weight to tip her one direction or the other.

* Elise has figured out how to splash in the bath tub. Now she won't stop kicking her legs. And getting me all wet.

* Elise weighed 12 1/2 pounds today.

Double Doody

Oh, by the way, Elise pooped on me TWICE yesterday.

It happened again right before bed. I was trying to take her to the potty, but my cat Vincent wouldn't move off the toilet lid. I was holding Elise in one arm and swatting at the cat with the other when Elise suddenly farted, literally scaring the crap out of herself. And the pee. I was soaked, the baby was screaming, the cat was yowling-- it was a mess.

The Dark Side of EC

Elise pooped all over me this morning.

I was holding her, naked, as I turned on the bath water to warm it up. I got too cocky, thinking I knew when she had to go potty. We had SUCH a good EC day yesterday. Anyway, I don't know if it was the sound of the water or if she simply had to go right then, but MAN that was a lot of poo.

Oh yeah-- Peeing My Pants

I'd almost forgotten about that, but now that my sister is preggers, I want to be sure to mention it.

I never peed myself while I was pregnant, thank goodness. Elise was mostly kind to my bladder. AFTER she was born, however...

About two weeks after Elise was born, I came down with a cough. This totally annoyed me for two reasons. One, I had taken a butt-load of antibiotics in the hospital, so I felt like I shouldn't have a single germ even look at me sideways for at least a month. Two, every time I'd cough hard, I'd pee a little.

It sucked.

I was still wearing pads for the post-baby bleeding so it was never a BIG deal. But it felt embarrassing nonetheless. And I was like "what were all of those Kegal exercise for if I'm still going to pee myself?!" I was afraid that I'd pee myself forever. That I'd never fully regain control of my ability to NOT pee.

Not so. My body just needed a little time to heal. I'd just pushed a human being out of my lady parts, after all. My body was basically still in shock from the waist down, as far as I can tell.

I even mentioned it to my midwife at my six week post-partum checkup. She was like "yeah, that goes away." It's totally normal and not a big deal to the medical professionals. But when all of a sudden you're peeing your pants every time you cough, it sure FEELS like a big deal. I cried about it more than once.

But, yeah. It goes away. Thank goodness.

My Hair Is Falling Out

My friend told me that this would happen somewhere around the 4 month mark. And it's happening alright. I brush my hair, I wash my hair, and massive amounts of hair come out in my hands.

I'm just glad that I have really thick hair, otherwise I'd be concerned about bald spots. For real.

And speaking of hair, Elise's fingernails grow SO fast. I wonder if it's because I'm still taking prenatal vitamins or if all babies just have some sort of super-growth-factor in their baby fingernails.

Cousin Elise

My sister's pregnant! Woo hoo!

Toofies?

I think Elise might be teething.

Oh god. I'm not ready for teeth.

She has been drooling like CRAZY. Not cute little baby drools. Puddles. And sometimes the drool is all bubbly. Like she has rabies.

Also, she's been gnawing on her fingers. Not sucking. Chomping.

I thought "no, it's too early for her to be teething" but I looked it up anyway. Nope. Babies can get teeth at 3 months old.

I'm not ready for teeth.

I also read that it can take up to 3 months to cut teeth, though, so hers might not pop up until she's 6 months old. I hope that's the case.

Every new thing she does-- every little milestone-- makes me want burst out crying. She's getting really good at holding her head up, which both fills me with pride and makes me die inside a little. She's growing so fast and it feels like her babyhood is slipping through my fingers.

I'm not ready for teeth. That will make her just that much less of a baby. Oh lord. Maybe I'll call them "toofusses" to keep it from seeming so real.

Foster Son is An Uncle

We got to see Foster Son yesterday. His mom called us and invited us to meet them somewhere, so of course we went. Foster Sons's 20 year old sister was visiting from out-of-town and she was there, too, with her 2 month old baby boy.

Elise is over 1 month older than Foster Son's nephew, but Little Nephew weighs more than Elise. He's shorter than Elise, too, so he looked all round and plump. Not fat, just baby chub.

I liked Foster Son's sister. She was nice. We compared notes about our babies and our pregnancies-- isn't that what mothers of new babies always do? She never got any morning sickness. So a small, teeny tiny part of me resented her for a split second, but then I got over it. She's got plenty of other problems. I don't need to be wishing retroactive morning sickness on the poor girl.

Little Nephew still had a tiny little newborn baby cry. Funny to see a baby that's bigger than Elise still have such a little cry.

Elise doesn't see many babies, so I thought she'd be interested in Little Nephew. Nope. She didn't care at all that there was another tiny little person sitting next to her. Didn't even care when he cried. Maybe Little Nephew just wasn't her type.

Baby Names: Elise's Contemporaries, Round 2

Here are some more names of non-celebrity babies that I know of, born around the time Elise was born:

Andrew, Eamon, Erica, Henry (two of them), Parker (girl), Ted, Zachary, Zoe

I love names.

Yay For Husband

Husband is getting good at EC. He's successfully taken Elise potty both for poops and pees now.

We're still only saving one or two diapers per day, on average. Some days are better than others. But I can tell already that EC will make potty training a LOT easier, when the time comes. As she gets bigger, she will have a strong association with the toilet and the process of going potty.

3 Months!

I can't believe Elise is three months old! It seems like just yesterday that I was screaming for someone to "get the baby out."

She's grown so much. She's over 12 pounds now. She babbles and coos. She smiles and laughs. She's a real person.

Elise is the most amazing, most beautiful thing on the planet. I celebrate her every day.

First Loooong Car Ride

Went to see all of the grandparents this past weekend. We're talking a 7 hour car ride, once you figure in the extra feeding/diaper changing stops for the baby. Considering that Elise doesn't much like car rides, I was a little nervous about the trip, but she did alright.

In fact, on the way back we had some car trouble (our second flat tire of the day, so we were out of a spare) and we had to call AAA and then have my sister drive to get us, since infant car seats don't really fit into tow trucks all that well. So, the ride back from our trip was EXTRA long. But like I said, Elise did alright.

She's learned to suck on her fingers-- even on her thumb sometimes-- so Elise is able to help soothe herself now. She won't take a pacifier, but now she'll suck on her fingers in the car and that helps her. Also, we made pretty frequent stops. Every hour and a half to two hours.

Travelling with kids simply means that the trip will take longer. And you'll have to bring 3 times as much stuff. And you'll get a fraction of the amount of the already inadequate amount of sleep that you're used to.

Time to move closer to the grandparents, because that long trip was fun, but it was hard work.

Newborn Me

This weekend I saw some photos (polaroids!) of my mother and me in the hospital right after I was born. I was a chubby little tubbykins! I can't believe what a little butterball I was!

I was 8 pounds when I was born, which isn't TOO much, so I must have been short. Or 2 of those pounds were exclusively in my cheeks.

I imagined myself being a cuter newborn. This comes as quite a blow to my ego.

My Whole Heart

A week or two ago, Husband and I were standing at the bakery in our local supermarket. The old ladies that worked there, strangers to us, were admiring the baby.

"That's your whole heart right there, isn't it?" one of them said.

She is. She's my whole heart. I look at her sleeping and she's so pretty and sweet and I just want to explode with love. Love shrapnel flying everywhere. And I think of anyone ever hurting her and tears instantly well up in my eyes.

She's not even 3 months old yet. How am I going to survive her childhood with out combusting or melting first?

Baby Baby Hates Tummy Time

She just hates it. I feel like Elise gets frustrated that she can't go anywhere yet. Can't crawl away.

I put her down on her back on her play mat and she looks up at all the rattles and toys dangling down at her. She smiles and giggles and kicks her legs. I turn her over for tummy time and she is beside herself with anger. She does okay for a few minutes, but after kicking her legs for a while and clawing at the mat to no avail, she freaks out and cries so hard she nearly chokes.

Sometimes she can get one leg up underneath of her and push with it. But since it's only one leg, she simply moves her little body around in a circle. This can keep her entertained for a few minutes, but after a while she even tires of that.

Man, when I was pregnant I would have LOVED some tummy time. It's weird not being able to lay on your stomach for about 5 months. You don't know how good you have it Elise! Enjoy tummy time! There may come a day when you can't lay on your tummy and then you'll wish you had tummy time back.

Separation Anxiety

Mommy's first separation anxiety.

I had a dentist's appointment today. Husband came with me and stayed with Elise in the waiting room while I had my cleaning and xrays done. I was separated from Elise for about an hour, although we were in the same building and someone could have easily gotten me if there was a problem.

But all I could think the whole time was "Come on, come on, COME ON! Hurry up!"

Everyone who worked there wanted to tell me about their own kids. Or their plans to start trying. And one lady, after I asked her if it was okay to get xrays while breastfeeding (I'd already researched it and found out that it is, I just wanted to double check), even asked me how long I plan to breastfeed. What the what?!? Do I know you? Why are you asking me this, weird lady who is clearly silently judging me for my answer?

Elise was asleep on Husband's lap when I returned. What? She didn't miss me as much as I missed her? She was OKAY with not being near me for an HOUR? I guess that's a good thing.

We're still BFFs, though. Right, Elise?

Sleeping Arrangements

Elise sleeps in our room. We have a travel crib/playpen that has a bassinet set up and she sleeps in that. When she was first born, I pulled the crib right next to the bed and slept just a few inches from her. I've been slowly moving the crib farther away, but she's still pretty close by.

If I weren't so incredibly paranoid because of all the stuff I've read about SIDS, I'd totally co-sleep with her. In fact, sometimes I let her sleep in bed with us in the morning, for an hour or two. But never all night. I trust my body to lay still and be attentive even in my sleep when her presence is uncommon, but I'm afraid that if I let her sleep with us all the time I might drop my guard and something bad could happen.

She's so beautiful when she sleeps.

She has her own room. With a full-sized crib and everything. But I like having her near me, I don't want to have to get up and walk to another room in the middle of the night, and I think she's more comfortable knowing I'm close by.

I accidentally became an "attachment parenting" sort of mom. I didn't realize this until I said to myself one day "what IS attachment parenting?" and Googled it. Breastfeeding on demand? Check. Carrying the baby around all day? Check. EC? Check. Like I said, we don't officially co-sleep, but I do the next best thing by keeping her next to me in my room and occasionally in my bed. So, check.

There's no real checklist of what constitutes attachment parenting, but those things I just mentioned are often associated with attachment parenting. The idea being that you are hugely responsive to your baby's own rhythms instead of making the baby conform to your schedule and that you gently and lovingly guide your child rather than give her rigid boundaries regarding her behavior.

Hippie Mom. Did I mention that I hardly brush my hair anymore?

Eyelashes

When Elise was born her eyelashes had no color. They eventually turned blonde. Now they're sort of reddish to light brown. She didn't look like she had any eyebrows, either. Her eyebrows are now pale and blonde, but the hairs are slightly longer, so you can sort of make out an eyebrow shape.

I know that when babies are still in the womb, there's a long time while the baby is growing that the eyes and the hair have no pigment. I wonder if Elise's eyebrows and eyelashes looked so pale because she was born a little bit early. Or maybe all babies are like that.

Just one more thing that contributes to newborn babies looking weird.