There's Probably a Good Reason for This

I have a theory as to why my hair is falling out like crazy now. It must serve as a distraction. It's a self-defense mechanism, like lizard tails. The baby pulls my hair, and a few strands willingly sacrifice themselves for the greater good of all the hairs. That way, baby's little hand can slip free and mommy can eventually escape.

That's got to be it.