No Balls

I've mentioned that Elise is afraid of balloons. Have I told you that she's afraid of balls, too? Anything balloon-sized or larger.

Today I decided to take Elise to the library to kill some time. I usually have the minivan if I have errands planned, but I had the car today. I buckled Elise into a car seat and started driving across town.

About 30 seconds into the trip, Elise starts fussing. Not her "I'm hurt" cry but her "I'm either scared or frustrated" cry. I couldn't get her to stop. I sang and talked about going bye-bye. Nothing lightened the mood. It was non-stop crying from the back seat.

Elise kept looking to her right, so I figured there must be a spider or some kind of bug that was freaking her out. At every light, I was reaching behind my seat, swatting all around her, wiping at her car seat.

And then I see it.

On the floor in the back. A big, green bouncy ball, from when Husband played outside with Henry the other day.

I put the ball up front, out of her sight, and she was magically perfectly okay after that. Boop! The crying shut off like a radio knob had just been dialed down.

Silly baby.

Temper Temper

Henry started throwing real temper tantrums today. Lying on the floor, scream-crying, and kicking his feet.

Ugh.

He's got this idea lately that any toy he touches is HIS. For the whole night. He can set the toy down and ignore it for 5 minutes, but then as soon as one of the girls goes to play with it, he gets super upset and tries to snatch it back. We don't allow that. There's no toy private property in our house. Once it's been abandoned, it's up for grabs.

Henry has been fine with this concept for months. But now the "terrible twos" have finally hit, I guess. Temper tantrum time. So we just ignore him. Let him throw his fit. Don't acknowledge it or try to comfort him. We don't let him throw himself on us, either, which he tries to do by grabbing at our legs or falling into our laps. We just set him to the side and don't interact with him until he's done. Once he calms down, he can have all of the hugs and comfort he can stand. But he will NOT be rewarded in any way for his crying, flailing, drooling temper tantrum. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry. It's not okay to act like a lunatic.

It's stressful just watching it, though. Listening to it. Fortunately the girls seem completely unfazed. I wish that their little brains were processing the situation and thinking, "Henry gets no response for his bad behavior. I might as well never even try to act out that way." I know that in truth their little brains are saying, "As soon as I get just a little bit more coordinated, I'm going to give that a try."

Assortment of Stuff

List:

* Elise continues to announce "VAA-VA!" every time her diaper is changed.

* We saw Georgia and Henry's big sister Susannah recently. Henry and Susannah kinda sorta played together a little bit. That's good. I wish they knew each other better. I wish they'd look happy to see each other and want to interact with one another. Maybe they will in time. They have always lived apart, so I don't think that they ever had much of a chance to bond. Plus they both have speech delays, and I believe that is inhibiting the process a little bit. We'll be seeing Susannah again soon, though, and I'm hoping that the kids will become more and more familiar with each other over time.

* Did I mention that Henry's presumed father has taken his DNA test? It will be weeks and weeks until we get the results. And Case Manager maintains that she thinks Presumed Father will want to terminate his parental rights if he is the biological dad. We'll see. Maybe when/if the results come back and Case Manager calls him and says, "There's no doubt about it anymore-- you are Henry's father," he'll have a change of heart. Thinking you might be someone's dad and knowing for sure that you are the dad are two different things, I would think.

* I'm about 22 weeks pregnant now. This pregnancy is just flying by. With Elise everything dragged along, partly because I felt so badly and partly because I was anxious about every little thing. Smooth sailing with Clark, though! He'll be here in no time. 18 weeks or less. I am going though a bit of a nesting phase right now. Cleaning, sorting, getting rid of stuff, organizing stuff. Making room for baby!

Going Home Clothes

We bought Clark's going home outfit today. The outfit we'll put him in when we bring him home from the hospital. It has a frog theme. Elise had panda bears on her clothes, Clark will have frogs.

I wanted to get this little outfit that said "made with love" because when I saw it, it made me cry. Hormonal pregnancy tears of I-love-my-baby joy. But Husband didn't like it so much. He would have agreed to get it if I'd insisted, but I wanted us to pick the outfit out together. So frogs it is, Clarky Baby. You were still made with love, even if your shirt doesn't say so.

I can't wait to see my little boy in his froggy outfit.

Vaa-va

Elise has not forgotten about her vulva. I tell her the word ONE time, and she's obsessed with it.

Yesterday I took off her diaper to change her, and as I pulled the velcro tabs back she yelled, "VAAAA-VA!" So I told Husband about it later that night as he was changing her diaper. He asks, "Elise, where's your vulva?" She points between her legs and says, "Vaa-va?"

She's mentioned it today, too.

Husband thinks it's funny and cute. It is. Until she starts pointing at and trying to touch other people's vulvas. Because that's what's coming next, you know. She likes touching other people's noses and eyes... strangers' noses and eyes, even. It's only a matter of time.

Guard your vaa-vas!

Daddy, Meet Clark!

Husband just felt Clark kick! Yay!!!

Vulva Tooth

Elise's word for the day? Vulva.

She was in the bath and she started pointing to her baby lady parts and asking what they were. Elise has this made up word-- "bye-ah"-- that serves as her question mark. She asks "bye-ah?" if she wants to know what something is.

So, finger on her hooha, "Bye-ah? Bye-ah? Bye-ah?" And I told her, "That's your vulva." "Vaaaaa-va? Vaa-va! Vaa-va!" Thank goodness no one will really know what her sweet little baby voice is saying. They'll just think it's baby babble. Unless she says, "Nos!" and points to her nose. "Eye!" and points to her eye. Then "Vaa-va!" and points between her legs. Which is entirely possible.

Also, her 8th tooth is in. Four on the top, four on the bottom.

She won't say "tooth" but she'll say "vulva."

Baby Clark

We're naming our son Clark. Yay!

Everyone says something about Superman, but no one's mentioned Clark Gable yet. Not that he's named after either one. We just like the name.

I like names that are uncommon but are not modern made up names-- no Ryland or Ashlynn for me. I'd love it if Pascal and Antonia made surprise comebacks. Husband jokingly called my name preferences "neo-Victorian." Maybe so.

Anyhow, Clark will have two middle names and a hyphenated last name, like Elise. Lots of great name combinations to choose from if he ever decides to abbreviate his name.

Break On Through

Felt the baby kicks with my hand while my arm was resting on my stomach last night. Yay! Husband will finally be able to feel his sweet little son.

Baby Clothes

My sister and our friends gave us some newborn clothes for the baby. Baby boy. We had some gender-neutral stuff from Elise, but not a whole lot-- now, though, we're totally set. Yay! Thanks, family and friends!

I can't believe we're starting from scratch again. A newborn. And a boy this time! Looking at those tiny little clothes just blows my mind.

I love you little guy!

Elise Has a Hard Head

Today I was lying in bed and Elise was sitting by my head. She flopped backwards and her head hit into my teeth, bruising the inside of my lip and causing it to swell. It really hurt. I'm surprised there was no blood.

Little kids are so clumsy.

Mind Like a Steel Trap

Elise keeps impressing me. Babies are awesome. Instead of typing it again, here is a copy of the IM where I told Husband what just happened:

1:17 PM me: [Husband]!

[Husband]: ?

me: We were just reading "15 animals" and Elise was pointing to the pics and I was saying what animal

And we got to the turtle

She was sitting in my lap

1:18 PM And after I said "turtle" she paused for a minute then turned around and pointed to the turtle on my shirt!

[Husband]: HOLY SHIT

me: She wasn't even looking @ my shirt

[Husband]: that is awesome!

1:19 PM I thought you were going to say that she remembered and said "Simon James Alexander Ragsdale the third"

me: She not only made the connection between the two turtles, she remembered what I was wearing and that there is a turtle on it!!!

Ha

[Husband]: Amazing.

stubendous!

me: Ribiculous

1:20 PM [Husband]: :)

me: I'm just so impressed

[Husband]: me too.

1:21 PM I hope you praised the poop out of her.

1:22 PM me: I did. Kisses and hugs galore

[Husband]: nice

Bladder Cushion

I'm certain that Dinky uses my bladder as a pillow. He hasn't kicked or punched it yet, but sometimes I feel like I desperately need to pee and that feeling doesn't go away for a looooooong time, no matter how many times I go.

It's really annoying to pee and then the very second I stand up from the toilet feel that I have a full bladder again. It's sort of like having a urinary tract infection, without the stinging or tenderness. Also, without the ability to take medicine to make the bad feeling go away.

What Does the Elise Say?

Elise is very into animal sounds lately. And most of her sounds are super cute. Here is a list of what she says when I ask her what sounds certain animals make:

Elise? What sound does a bear make?
Rwaaaawr. (The softest, sweetest little bear ever. She swipes her hands like bear claws.)

Duck?
Duh, duh. (I think she's trying to say "duck, duck" instead of "quack, quack.")

Horse?
No, no. (Instead of "neigh, neigh.")

Cow?
Oooooooo. (Close enough to "moo.")

Elephant?
Waaaaaaah! (And she raises up her arms like an elephant trunk.)

Cat?
Muh-owwwww.

Dog?
(She grunts twice. I guess "woof, woof" sounds like grunts to her.)

Goat?
Maaaaa. (That's what we say a goat says-- "maa, maa.")

Sheep?
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!" (For some reason, her sheep is always super angry sounding. She yells her "baa" from this deep, scratchy place in her throat.)

Fish?
Bubba, bubba! (We tell her that a fish says "bubble, bubble" for lack of any other sound we knew.)

Snake?
Sssssssssssss. (She hisses. Sometimes after her afternoon nap, I ask Elise if she wants a snack and then she hisses at me. I don't know if she is just mistaking the word "snack" for "snake" or if she really wants me to serve her a snake for a snack.)


Now if she could just figure out a few more PEOPLE sounds...

DNA Test

Well, I found out today that Henry's presumed father has finally taken his DNA test. Judging from some stuff that was said between Presumed Father and Case Manager, it sounds like even if Presumed Father is in fact Biological Father, he will ask to have his parental rights terminated. You can do that. Just say "I don't want to be a parent anymore. I don't want custody or visits, and don't ask me for child support."

At first I thought how awful it was that a father would do that. Just terminate his rights and not look back. But I realized what a hypocrite I was being. Sexist, really. I believe in a woman's right to decide whether she'll carry a pregnancy and become a mother to a new baby, so it's only fair that I should believe that a man has the right to decide whether he'll be a child's father.

A man can't choose to terminate a woman's pregnancy. He shouldn't have that right. And he shouldn't have the right to essentially hijack a woman's body an make her carry a baby that she doesn't want to birth, either. I understand that there's an imbalance in the rights of the maybe-soon-to-be father and maybe-soon-to-be mother. I don't see any way to correct that imbalance with regard to a pregnancy, though. A woman carries the baby, it's her body, and until the child is viable, her right to decide the fate of the embryo in her belly. If she wants to terminate the pregnancy, she should have the right. But it would be unfair to say that because a woman becomes pregnant and chooses to have the baby, the man is given no choice in his role in that child's life. He should have the right to terminate his parental duties, just as the woman has the right to terminate her parental duties. It's only fair.

Now, I think it's much less okay to say, "Sure, I'll commit to parenting this child," and then later decide that you don't want to accept all of the responsibilities that come with that decision. It's unfair to break a commitment like that. But I really don't know what happened in Henry's case. I don't know the details of his parents' relationship or how Presumed Father felt about fathering a new child. Maybe he was clear with Henry's mom from the start that she was on her own with the baby. Who knows.

I do feel now, though, that if Presumed Father doesn't want to be a part of Henry's life, that is his choice. And the best thing that can happen for Henry is that he is given a chance to move on from this experience. That his is given an opportunity to have a man in his life that is happy to be his father and is ready to stick by him.

Giant Belly

I compared a couple of pictures from my pregnancy with Elise to pictures of my pregnancy now with Dinky and my belly really is bigger this time around.

First this made me laugh and joke that Dinky is reclining and stretching out in my belly, enjoying the extra room. Then it made me cry and get scared that he'd be too big to come out vaginally. Husband reassured me that they'd said nothing about Dinky being oversized at my last ultrasound. Which I guess is true. I might have to keep my big, saggy uterus tucked down one pant leg and into my sock after the baby is born, but that doesn't mean that HE will be big.

At least my boobs are bigger this time, too. I mean, I know it has to do with the fact that I'm still breastfeeding, but I'm just glad everything is still in proportion.

Whatever I Can Think of Mentioning...

Notes again.

* Potty training break through with Henry. He picked up Elise's sign language sign for "potty" and now he tells us (sometimes) when he has to go to the bathroom. He's still not ready for regular underpants, but we no longer have to make random guesses about when to sit him on the potty chair.

* Elise flipped off the bed tonight. Once again, Husband was paranoid that she had suffered a concussion and wouldn't let her sleep afterward. Husband woke her up from a post-head-bonk nap with Peekaboo Barn. She was WIDE awake for that. Clearly no lasting head trauma.

* We met baby Eve finally. She's the tiniest thing. I don't think she looks much like Georgia and Henry, but her face is still kind of newborn-like and skinny. I bet that once it fills out, she'll look just like them.

* Elise has learned what a horse says. Kind of. I've been telling her "neigh, neigh" but she has interpreted that and repeats it as "no, no." What does a horse say? No, no.

* I had a dream the other night that I was pregnant by this guy who looked just like the actor who plays Silas on the tv show "Weeds." I also had a regular boyfriend, another boyfriend, and a girlfriend. They were all fine with the fact that I was pregnant by some other guy. The Silas look-alike was so super nice to me that I was considering seeing him exclusively after the baby was born.

Tooth; Hitting

Elise has her 7th tooth! Finally. We were stuck at 6 teeth there for a long while.

Another new development: Elise is slap happy. She's hitting now to show her frustration. Very weird. We adults don't spank at all or hit at anything for any reason. I guess there's just some natural inclination to try and smack something you're mad at. She hits tables and toys and whatever else is in reach, too. And she does it with all her might. It's hard not to laugh, really.

My strategy right now is to scold Elise if she tries to hit one of the other kids, but mostly ignore her when she's acting out. Set her away from me and just ignore her. Little kids hate to be ignored.

Elise's biting phase didn't last too terribly long, hopefully this slapping thing will die down quickly, too.

Dinky Inspection

Had a OBGYN appointment today.

I've gained 5 pounds. Listened to Dinky's heart beat. It always takes a while to find Dinky's heartbeat. Maybe because of the position of my placenta. I heard the blood rushing through my placenta, too. It sounds sort of like a fast-flowing stream.

Dinky kicked me a lot this morning. It's nice to feel his little kicks. I remember getting sick of the kicks with Elise, but I'm still in the honeymoon phase with Dinky right now. It's nice to feel the fun part of pregnancy.

WTF, Blogger? and Booby Spit

Blogger was down last night and this morning. I couldn't make my daily blog post yesterday, and I was very sad. Here is what I would have written about...

Henry spit on my boobs the other day. I was wearing a shirt with a v-neck and I was sitting on the floor, slouched over. So I guess you could see my cleavage. Henry crawled up to me and I thought he was going to climb into my lap, but instead he pressed his face into my boobs.

Um, okay. But whatever. He's two years old.

However, when he pulled his face away, there was spit all over my boobs. Like, he'd been saving a mouthful of spit and then deposited it on my chest. No spitting noise. Just a large amount of spit left behind when he removed his head from my cleavage.

He sees Elise breastfeeding sometimes. Does he think she's actually spitting on my boobs?

I was like, "No, Henry. Yucky. Please don't do that!" And he hasn't since. I guess he was just testing it out. And I guess it wasn't as cool or as interesting as he thought it would be. So just once was enough for him.

Glad he got that out of his system.