Good Thing Vertical Stripes Are Slimming

I still have that dark line down my belly. I thought it would be gone by now. Not that I'll be wearing a bikini anytime soon.

After Delivery, In The Recovery Room

After I had Elise and our 2 hours in the labor and delivery room was over, one nurse pushed Elise in a bassinet, one nurse pushed me in a wheelchair, and Husband pushed a cart with our bags to the recovery room, where we would stay for the rest of our hospital visit.

On the way to the recovery room, I got to push a little button that plays a lullaby song throughout the hospital, to let everyone know that a baby's been born. My baby. My Elise.

We got to the room and the nurses left, but shortly thereafter another nurse came in. A very pretty lady, I remember that. She took my blood pressure, heart rate, etc. Talked to me for a while. I remember her saying, "Oh, good. You didn't get an epidural. Your recovery will be quicker. You'll be able to get up and move around sooner and that will make your recovery time shorter. Plus you wont have headaches or back aches or anything like that from the epidural. Good for you."

She told me that the next time I have to go to the bathroom to ring for a nurse and she would come in and help me. "Oh, I think I'm okay. I don't need any help." She asked, "You aren't wobbly on your feet?" I said no. But then she said that they need to measure how much I pee again anyway, so I have to call for a nurse no matter whether I need help or not. "I'll just try to pee now," I said. Might as well get it over with. They only needed two measurements-- one of which they'd already gotten in the labor and delivery room-- and I didn't see the point in dragging the process out.

I peed in front of yet another stranger and let her measure my pee, write the measurement down, and dump the pee from the measuring container into the toilet. Gross.

When I got back into bed, the nurse "massaged" my uterus. Then she lifted my gown, pulled down my underwear and looked at the pad that I was wearing to see how much blood had come out. Over the course of the next few days, I would have a lot of people looking into my underwear. It's kind of weird. They want to see how much you're bleeding, to make sure it's a normal amount, I guess.

The nurse felt my ankles and then pushed my toes back toward my leg, asking if I felt any pain when she did that. I think she was testing to see if I was having any dangerous blood clots from my uterus. I didn't have any pain.

Then the nurse told me to face away from her on my side so that she could see if I have any hemorrhoids. So the pretty nurse looked at my butt hole. There is nothing left even remotely private for a lady who has just had a baby.

After I was thoroughly examined, I fed Elise. The nurse helped me get her latched to my breast. This required her to touch my boobs a bit. Like I said, nothing is left private.

I asked the nurse if she could remove the IV from my arm. It was still very uncomfortable. She told me that I'd have to leave it in for 24 hours. They were going to take more blood from me and see if I need any antibiotics. If I did need some, they would just have to run another IV, so we might as well leave the one that they've already inserted in my arm. (It turned out that I did need antibiotics.) I was disappointed. I really wanted the IV out.

After Elise ate and the nurse left, I asked Husband to set his watch alarm to go off in two hours, so that I could feed the baby. And thus began the never ending cycle of breastfeeding. And lack of sleep.

3 Weeks!

My baby is 3 weeks old! I can't believe it. Where does the time go?

:P

Due Date

Today is Elise's actual due date. She got weighed today and she's gained nearly a pound since she was born. Thank you, Elise, for sparing my uterus and my vagina the extra weight. I owe you one.

Weight Watching

I gained about 33 pounds during my pregnancy. I was 115 before I got pregnant and I got up to 148 the last time I weighed myself before Elise was born.

I've lost 20 pounds of my pregnancy weight so far. It's amazing how quickly my belly went down, especially considering how big it got. I didn't weigh myself right after Elise was born to see how much weight I'd lost due to her delivery. I'd assume it was something close to 15 pounds.

13 more pounds to go.

Ellie Belly

Elise lost her umbilical cord stump today! My baby's growing up so fast!

Correction!

I didn't remember that my mother-in-law stayed with me while I was delivering the placenta. I'd said that everyone went to the other side of the room with the baby after she was born, but that wasn't the case. Like I've said several times, my memories of labor and delivery are fuzzy.

Having a baby is stressful, not only physically but emotionally and mentally, too.

A Few Things That I Almost Forgot

Like I said, my memories of labor and delivery are hazy. Here are a few things that I almost forgot about:

* During labor I said several times "I'm going to DIE!" I also remember saying "I'm scared" a lot.

* After the baby and the placenta were delivered, the nurses gave me "abdominal massages" every 15 minutes for the first hour or two and then every couple of hours for the next day or so. Don't be fooled by the word 'massage'-- the nurses just pushed really hard on my belly in order to feel my uterus and squish the juices out of it. It's really uncomfortable. The first few times they did it, I could feel blood and whatever else was up inside of me gushing out. Yuck.

After Delivery

I thought I'd cry when the midwife handed me my baby. I didn't. I was too tired to feel much of anything at first but relief.

Elise was born, she was put on my belly for a second, Husband cut the cord, then the nurses took Elise to the other side of the room where there was a little station set up to take care of her. Everyone but the midwife went to the other side of the room with Elise.

I was tired and still a little loopy. I know that they had to give Elise oxygen. At one point I looked over and they were tapping her foot to wake her and I thought something was wrong, that she was unresponsive or something. But they told me she was okay.

I felt really sad being on the other side of the room by myself while everyone else got to see Elise and then hold her. I only got to hold Elise for a second after she was born and I didn't even get to see her face. My sister came back over and stayed with me after a little bit, which I really appreciated. I just felt jealous that everyone could see my new baby except for me.

Back on my side of the room, I had to deliver the placenta. I was afraid it would hurt or be uncomfortable, but I barely felt it. I gave the tiniest little push to get it out. The midwife asked if I wanted to see it, which I did. It was smaller than I expected.

After the placenta, the midwife examined my lady parts and told me that I had ripped and would need some stitches. She said I also had some lacerations that would not need to be stitched. She gave me two or maybe it was three shots of lidocain in the lady place so that she could stitch me up. And guess what. It didn't do a damn thing. I felt every stitch. Three stitches, which means 6 needle pokes in my skin, then I felt her tighten it up and tie it off. I yelled out and one point and my mom said from across the room that Elise heard me yell and became alarmed. She knew my voice already.

A nurse brought me some ice packs to put on my lady parts. And believe me, it helps. They want you to keep ice down there for 24 hours at my hospital. And I gladly did so.


Once I was repaired and the baby was washed, measured, medicated, etc., we had a little time to say good night to our family before they moved me to my recovery room. My hospital lets you stay in the labor and delivery room for two hours after the baby is born, then you go to the room you'll be in for the rest of the hospital stay.

Before they moved me to my recovery room, they monitored all of my vital signs for a bit and then a nurse went with me to the bathroom to see how much I would pee. Apparently, new moms are supposed to pee a certain amount within 24 hours or something's wrong. So I had to pee into this container that the nurse set on the inside of the toilet seat. She watched me pee, which normally would feel like an invasion of privacy, but after having a room full of people stare at your crotch for 2 hours, it didn't even phase me. It looked like I was peeing pure blood, but I'm sure I was just peeing and bleeding at the same time. There's lots of blood after you have a baby.

There were more invasions of privacy once I reached my recovery room-- more on that later.

Days= Nights

Elise has her days and her nights backwards. She sleeps all day and she's up every hour and a half or so during the night. I don't get any sleep from about midnight until 5 AM. I couldn't sleep well if I wanted to, because she spits up a lot and I'm terribly afraid that she'll choke on her spit up and die. Every time she makes a noise, I check on her.

Elise, if you ever wonder why Mommy is crazy, just know that it all started with the sleep deprivation beginning shortly after you were born.

Delivery

Like I said, I don't remember the experience of delivering Elise as one cohesive memory. I was falling asleep between contractions, I was in an immense amount of pain, and I had been in labor for 20 hours. I pushed for another 2 hours. It's all fuzzy in my head.

It sucked. I remember that much.

So, I told Husband for a second time that I NEED to push, and he went and got the nurses and the midwife. The midwife examined me again and said that part of my cervix was still kind of in the way (whatever that means) but that I could go ahead and start pushing and she would just try to move it with her fingers as I pushed.

I pushed. And I pushed. And I pushed.

I was so tired, but as each contraction peaked, I couldn't help but give 3 or 4 good, long pushes. I actually tried to resist at one point. I said to myself "I'm so tired. Skipping ONE contraction to rest really wont hurt." But there was no way I could resist. With no epidural to numb the pain, your body MAKES you want to get that baby out as quickly as possible.

The feeling of pushing a baby out is very strange. It really feels like you're trying to take the biggest poop of your life. It felt like the baby was in my butt. I was so concerned about pooping on the bed. Well, I was concerned for about 10 minutes. But then I realized that if I didn't give it my all every time I pushed, if I tried to hold back in any way, then Elise would never come out. So I got over the fear of pooping pretty quickly.

Husband, my mom, Husband's mom, and one of my sisters were in the room while I was having Elise. I was all sweaty and gross, and the moms and my sister were taking turns holding a hand-held battery operated fan on me.

Once Elise started crowning, I remember everyone getting really excited. But I still had to push for a really long time. People kept saying, "You're so close!" or "She's almost here!" or whatever and the more I heard that, the angrier I got. Apparently I even said at one point something to the effect of "You've already said that!"

As Elise's head was working it's way out (or out a little bit and back in and out a little bit and back in), the midwife was stretching open my vagina with her fingers. And that HURT. And I would say as much. I was yelling with every push and then it would end with, "Owwww! Fuck!" And the midwife would apologize for hurting me, but then do it again the next time.

I was having serious short-term memory loss. As I'd wake up during the start of each contraction, I'd try to remember what had just happened, but I couldn't. It was weird. And I kept thinking, "I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe that I'm having a baby right now."

I thought that I'd have the baby squatting. That's what I'd envisioned for myself. But I was too tired so I was in the bed, and the midwife had me keep rotating from side to side to sort of sitting up. I pushed her out while I was sitting up.

Finally, after 2 hours, the midwife said to me, "If she doesn't come out within the next couple of pushes, I'm going to have to make a cut." I flipped out. "NO!!!" I did NOT want an episiotomy. The midwife looked at me sympathetically, "She doesn't seem to have enough room to come out." And with that I pushed the biggest, hardest, longest push I could possibly muster. Then another one. And her head came out. Victory!!!

I didn't even feel the head come out. I thought I would, but I had to ask, "Is her head out yet?" and I only surmised as much based on the looks on everyone's faces. Yes, her head was out. "I just needed some motivation," I said to the midwife.

The umbilical cord was wrapped around Elise's neck, and the midwife had to loop it over her head. I don't remember that being the case, but that's what everyone has told me.

Then I had to push her body out. And I sure felt that. Her shoulders HURT coming out. The midwife was pulling her out and it felt like she was pushing her down a bit as she did so, and it really, really, really hurt. My skin ripped and I ended up needing 3 stitches.

Elise was all gray when she first came out. They put her on my chest for a second but I didn't really get to see her face. They let husband cut the cord and then they whisked her away to the other side of the room. I'll tell you more about that experience later. A lot happened post-labor, but I need to collect my thoughts about it.

2 Week Checkup

Elise's doctor has new babies come to the office for a weigh-in at two weeks of age, to make sure that the baby is back up to its birth weight. Elise was 6 lbs 7 oz at birth, dropped to 6 lb 1 oz in the hospital, and today she weighed 6 lbs 15.6 oz at the doctor's office.

She has exceeded expectations. Her weight gain is great-- it means that she's eating well and she's healthy. I'm so happy.

No Stretchmarks!

Lucky me! I made it all the way through pregnancy without a single stretchmark!

I drank lots of water and kept my belly greased up with Palmer's cocoa butter formula. But mostly I believe that a fortunate set of genetics are to thank. I don't think that my mom got many stretchmarks from her pregnancies, either.

From Pitocin to Pushing

By the time that the midwife told me that I wasn't progressing quickly enough and I should have pitocin to speed the labor along, I was getting pretty tired. I'd been in labor for about 12 hours by that point.

I was really disappointed that I needed pitocin, but I understood that Elise needed to be delivered within 24 hours and the pitocin was looking like the only way to make it happen.

I asked if they could just give me a little pitocin to maybe jump start the process but not leave me on the pitocin the whole time. The nurses said that's not usually the way it works, but they said that they would see about taking me off the pitocin if it seems like the pitocin is being effective and like my body might continue on without the extra help. They did eventually take me off the pitocin and let my labor continue naturally. I don't remember how long I was on the pitocin for, but they never had to up the dose at any point, like they said might be the case.

It took a little while before the pitocin really kicked in. People arrived and joined us in the labor and delivery room. Husband's mom and his dad and stepmother arrived and one of my sisters was on a flight from out of state because she was on vacation when I went into labor.

All of a sudden the contractions got insanely strong and I felt a terrible pain in the front of my pelvis. I had been standing up near the bed when the pain hit and I doubled over and yelled for Husband. "Get a doctor! Something's wrong!"

The nurses that came in told me that the baby was just moving down into the birth canal. "She's destroying me!" I told them. They asked if I wanted something for the pain, but I said no.

I didn't have a specific plan with regard to pain management before I went into labor, but once I was in labor I really wanted as few interventions as possible. I was in a huge amount of pain, but the baby was doing well according to the monitors and I didn't want to do anything that could change that.

After the pitocin really kicked in, everything becomes a blur. I remember certain things happening, but I don't remember their order. Here's what I remember:

* I moaned, loudly, through most of my contractions.

* I was annoyed with the fact that my family was in my room, talking and laughing amongst themselves while I was in the worst pain of my life. I asked everyone except for Husband to leave for a while. I don't remember how long they were gone for.

* Eventually, I requested some IV pain medication "just to take the edge off," as the nurses suggested. They gave me Nubain. I suppose that it must have helped a little, but I was still in a tremendous amount of pain during the contractions. They gave me half a dose, then I requested the second half. Then I requested another dose and they gave me the whole thing at once. I requested a third dose from my midwife, but she said that I was too far along to have any more Nubain. I hated her in that moment. I wanted to make her hurt as much as I hurt and then I wanted to deny her any relief. So I finished out my labor without any more pain medication and I delivered Elise without any pain medication.

* I didn't get an epidural, partly because the thought of sitting still long enough for them to insert the needle into my spine sounded like torture.

* I was falling asleep between contractions. I was already sleep deprived, plus Nubain makes you sleepy, plus the intense pain for a prolonged period of time made me loopy.

* I said some weird stuff, apparently. Something about "don't let me fall into the space warp" which I realized as soon as I said it that it was a weird thing to say. Toward the end, before I could start pushing, I was yelling (no longer just moaning) with each contraction. I appologized to everyone for all of my "hootin' and hollerin'."

* I remember my sister arriving.

* I remember telling Husband that I need to push, then the midwife examining me, and her telling me that I still have about another centimeter to dilate. I was really disappointed. And angry. But mostly disappointed.

During the last part of active labor and during delivery I was a completely different person. I was in a strange place. I can't describe it. I was SOOOOO in the moment. It was as if I had no short-term memory and there was only NOW. This also contributes to my inability to remember a lot of the labor and delivery-- my brain wasn't concerned with sorting and cataloging memories, it just wanted to get me through the labor and delivery process.

It was such a relief when the midwife said I could start pushing.

Baby's First Trip to the Grocery Store

Today Husband and I took Elise on her first trip to the grocery store. She slept through it. But two different strangers stopped us to say congratulations and remark on how tiny the baby is. It was nice. Pleasant people like that make me happy.

Labor Until Potocin

The first 11 or so hours of labor weren't that bad.

After I was put in my labor and delivery room, the nurses strapped me in to monitors for a little bit, asked a bunch of questions, and inserted an IV. The IV sucked. It was uncomfortable.

The labor and delivery rooms at my hospital are pretty nice. They're big, with a chair that pulls out into a single bed for your support person, a jacuzzi tub, a birthing ball, a rocking chair, and a big bed that converts into lots of different positions for the mom.

It was around 2 am when the midwife said that I would have until about noon to make good progress in dilating, otherwise I'd have to start pitocin to speed my labor along. Since my water broke, they wanted Elise delivered within 24 hours, to help prevent infection.

So, aside from the IV, the only other especially uncomfortable part of early labor was when the midwife checked me at one point, told me that I was about at 3.5 centimeters, and then stretched my cervix with her fingers until I was at 4 centimeters. Yee-ouch!

I should have tried to sleep while the labor was still pretty easy. But I was too excited. Husband and I watched some "Arrested Development", my mom arrived at the hospital and stayed with us in the labor and delivery room, I took a jacuzzi bath, Husband ate about 7 protein bars, and time passed slowly but surely. The nurses came in every hour or so and hooked me up to the monitors for about 15 minutes to make sure that the baby was okay. Also, I walked around in the halls with Husband, to try and help progress my labor.

By noon, my labor was a lot harder but I could still talk through the contractions. I wanted Husband to push on and rub my lower back, because that's where it hurt. The nurses were concerned that I might be having back labor-- meaning that the baby could be facing the wrong way as she was coming down into my pelvis. But that turned out not to be the case. Or if it was, she turned around the right way before she was born.
Before the pitocin, I spent a lot of time in the rocking chair, on the birthing ball, or on my hands and knees in the bed. I felt the need to move my hips during contractions.

Once they gave me the pitocin, however, everything changed. The pain was a lot less manageable.

My Little Beastie

Husband told me two nights ago that Elise's ACTUAL birth weight wasn't 6 pounds and 7 ounces. I was busy pushing out placenta while they were weighing her, but Husband was standing right there with the nurses. Her birth weight was 6 pounds 6.6 ounces.

The nurse said, "Oh. Well, we'll just call that 7 ounces."

Arriving At The Hospital

So, Husband, Foster Son and I arrived at the hospital for the second time in less than 5 hours. I had Husband drop me off at the front door while he parked the car and got Foster Son situated because I was leaking amniotic fluid like crazy. I wrapped the towel around my waist and hurried inside.

I remember saying to the nurse checking me in, "Sorry. I'm afraid I might make a mess." And she said, "Well, if you do, we'll just clean it up. Happens all the time."

Some of the same nurses that were on duty the first time we went to the hospital were still on duty. They all smiled and waved and said things like "Hello, again."

I changed into a hospital gown and got examined. First, the nurse took what looked like a big q-tip with some sort of yellow substance on the end and put it in my lady part. The yellow substance turned green (or was it blue? I can't remember). "Yep. Your water broke."

Then the nurse determined that I was dilated to 1.5 cm. As my labor and delivery room was being set up, Husband and I contacted our family and Foster Son's relative arrived to pick him up.

At one point, Foster Son wrapped his blanket around his waist and said, "Look! My water's out!" Cute.

Things start getting blurry after this point. 22 hours of labor after very little sleep and excrutiating pain and the hormones of labor have all helped to make my memories fuzzy. Mercifully, wonderfully fuzzy.

And Then My Water Broke

So, last Monday night we went to the hospital around 8:00 pm to see if I was in labor, and although I was having contractions they weren't effective enough to dilate my cervix and count as real labor. I was sent home.

Husband and I got into bed that night by about 11:00. At 12:45, I woke up to pee. I went to the bathroom and then laid back down in bed. As I did, I felt a something warm leak from between my legs. "Must just be some blood" I thought, as I was bleeding more during the day on Monday.

Then I felt it again. I realized that I'd better check it out. Just as I made it to the toilet, a steady trickle of white-ish/clear-ish fluid formed.

Okay. I'm not peeing. I couldn't stop the stream the way you can with pee.

"Husband! I think my water broke!"

He was up out of bed and in the bathroom right away.

"Smell this. Is it pee? It can't be."

I'd heard that amniotic fluid smells sweet, but we couldn't tell. Either way, it wasn't pee and I was still leaking so we knew it was time to go to the hospital.

We outlined a quick plan of action. First, we will get dressed. Then, Husband will put our packed bags in the car, I'll pack a bag for Foster Son (who will stay with relatives for a few days), Husband will get Foster Son in the car, I will put down food for the cats, and then we leave.

It took us about 15 minutes to get out the door. I soaked through two pads during that time, so as we left I grabbed a towel to sit on in the car. I needed it, too, because on the way to the hospital, I leaked through my jeans.

It was exciting to know that we were going to the hospital for REAL this time. And that we would get to meet Elise soon.

Baby's First Trip To The Doctor's Office

Elise had her first doctor's appointment today. We saw a nurse practitioner for a quick check up. She weighed 6 lb 4.6 ounces and was as healthy as can be.

Here, babies get check ups a few days after they leave the hospital to make sure that they're gaining weight. It's normal for babies to lose up to 10% of their birth weight before they leave the hospital, but they should regain that weight by the second week.

Elise was born at 6 lb 7 ounces, dropped to 6 lbs 1 ounce, and is back up to 6 lb 4.6 ounces all within one week. I feel confident that she'll be back up to (or past) her birth weight by this time next week.

The "False Alarm"

Elise's birth story begins last Sunday night.

I started having contractions that were fairly regular and that I couldn't make go away. They were between 9 and 7 minutes apart. I was able to go to sleep that night, but the contractions never did stop. By lunchtime on Monday, they were about 5 minutes apart, but still not terribly strong. However, they were annoying and I was extremely tired and I was having more blood in my discharge, so I left work early. Husband came home, too, and worked from home in order to keep watch over me.

At home, Husband and I walked around the neighborhood, I took a hot bath, I layed down for a nap. Nothing was making them stop. In fact, they were getting closer together. They just weren't as strong as I thought they should be in order to count as actual labor. My OBGYN's office said that until they were so strong that I was having trouble talking through them, I didn't need to go to the hospital. I was no where near that level of pain.

By about 7:30, however, the contractions were 3 to 4 minutes apart. Husband called the lady who taught our childbirth preparation class to ask for advice. She told us that it doesn't cost anything at our hospital to have them check you out and so we might as well go and see if my labor had started.

We told Foster Son that I had to go to the doctor-- he had been to several of my OBGYN appointments, so that statement didn't alarm him and he's too young to realize that regular doctors don't usually make appointments for 8:00 at night. So we all got in the car and went to the hospital.

When they checked me out, I hadn't dialated or effaced any more at all since my last doctor's appointment. I was definitely having contractions, and we could watch them occuring via the monitor that they hooked around my belly. But they weren't effective enough to open up my cervix. I was so disappointed. A day and a half's worth of annoying contractions did NOTHING to my body?!? The hospital sent me home.

I was really sad about it. Mostly because I couldn't imagine having to go to work the next day and try to focus on my job while my belly was squeezing itself silly every few minutes. I had no idea when the contractions would stop.

Turns out I DIDN'T have to go to work the next day because my water broke in the middle of the night that same night...

We're Home

We were able to leave the hospital last night. Got home around 6:00.

I had been discharged Saturday afternoon, but the hospital allows moms to stay and "nest" with their babies if the babies haven't been discharged, too. That means that parents can keep using their room, but the mom is no longer a patient of the hospital and they won't give her any medication or send people to check her vitals or stuff like that. The hospital room becomes more like a hotel room.

Husband and I stayed in the hospital room until Elise was discharged Sunday evening.

So much to tell. I'm just so tired. I'll start telling Elise's birth story soon...

Quick Update

So much to tell, but no time. We're still at the hospital (longer than expected) but everyone will be fine.

Elise was born at 10:16 pm on March 9th. She was 6 pounds, 7 ounces and 19.9 inches long. I was given pitocin during labor and took some Nubain during a really rough part of labor but I delivered without and pain medication and I had no epidural. Yay, me!

Gotta go...

It's Go Time!!!

My water broke at 12:45 this morning. At the hospital now. Hopefully I dilate more soon.

Eeeeeep!!!


This is crazy.

Pretty In Pink

**** WARNING! Talking about gross stuff again.****

Starting yesterday morning, my discharge has turned pink. That means I'm dilating more and the blood released from my cervix stretching as it dilates and effaces is mixing with my regular discharge, turning it all pink.

A word on discharge during pregnancy. I had no idea about this. At the beginning of pregnancy, I was like, "Yay! No period for 9 months!" Then I bled off and on for months, which was not only scary but kind of a bummer since I was all excited about not having a period. After that, the discharge started happening.

Now, some women just naturally have a lot of discharge when they aren't pregnant, which is totally normal. I'm not one of those women. My lady parts have been very, very kind to me over the years. So I was flabberghasted (though not alarmed) when I needed to start using a pantyliner every day due to the increased amount of discharge that happens during pregnancy.

I understand that my body is trying to keep everything nice and clean and free of bacteria for the baby. Extra discharge is a good thing. It just caught me off guard at first.

Anyway, thanks to the pink, now I know for sure that I'm still dilating and effacing. I've been SO uncomfortable since yesterday, too. My back is killing me. And my contractions seem to start down low in my abdomen instead of up high at the top of my uterus, like they used to.

I'm hoping that I go into labor soon. I mean, I guess that this is sort of pre-labor right now because stuff is clearly going on with my body. But I hope the official contractions start soon. Of course, it could be weeks away. We'll just have to wait and see.

My Husband, My Hero

Husband moved our recliner into our bedroom Saturday night, so that I could sleep in the chair and still be near him. It wasn't easy to move it by himself, but he did it for me. What a guy.

My upper respitory infection (because that's what my cold has now become) makes lying down really uncomfortable. I wake up coughing like crazy and the stuff that comes out of me when I cough is enough to make me want to throw up. When I cough, my abdominal muscles hurt so bad that sometimes it brings tears to my eyes. I'm not exaggerating. Sitting in the recliner makes me feel a lot better.

On the down side, the baby puts more pressure on my bladder when I sleep, so 3 trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night are now more like 6 trips, but I've gotta breathe, so oh well.

The infection seems to be getting better. I'm using saline spray in my nose and that's helping. I hope I can fight it off soon. It's really making me miserable.

Piss And Vinegar

I'm unnecessarily angry this morning. I'm so uncomfortable that all I can do is think mean thoughts. Fortunately, I am aware of how irrational I'm being, so I can at least pretend to be nice. Or try to.

My coworker says to me as I'm coming into the building this morning, "You're moving awful slow today! Ha ha ha!"

Want to know why? Because I fucking hurt. Because I have about 6 pounds of baby resting on my pelvis, because my back is killing me, because I'm having unconfortable contractions, because all of my ligaments are getting loose and my knees and ankles wobble when I walk, and because if I walk too fast I get out of breath. I'm not walking slowly to be cute. I'm simply trying to stay in an upright position and maintain some forward momentum.

GOD! I want to punch something.

I Am Packed For The Hospital

As of today, I am packed and ready for the hospital. Husband and I even went and bought one of those little hand-held fans that has a squirt bottle and sprays mist all over you. The instructor for our childbirth preparation class recommended getting one.

Now I Know How To Swaddle

The "Baby Basics" class at the health department was two sessions long and Husband and I took the second session this past Thursday. It was more informative for me than the first class. I learned how to swaddle a baby and give a newborn a sponge bath.

There was also instruction on how to change a diaper and how to dress a baby. They had dolls that we changed and dressed and swaddled.

Oh, and the instructor showed us pictures and "warned" us about how babies look right after they're born. Everything from the extra body hair to what an uncircumsized baby penis looks like. "...and their little testicles are all swollen when they come out, too. Some dads are like 'that's my boy!' but the swelling DOES go down, dads..."

Monkey's Paw

Be careful of what you wish for.

When I first got pregnant, I had these crazy thoughts. I would worry, "I'm not even showing yet. No one can tell that I'm pregnant. What if I got in a car accident and I was unconscious and the hospital gave me all of this medicine that hurt the baby? And they could have given me something different, but they didn't know I was pregnant. And I'm in a coma for, like, 4 months. By then it's too late and the baby comes out without any feet or something..."

So I was really happy when I started showing.

NOW, I'm so big that I waddle when I walk, my pelvis hurts non-stop, and my lower back pops with every step. I can barely fit into my maternity clothes.

There's no mistaking that I'm pregnant. And I don't have one of those tight little pregnant bellies that some women get. Elise likes to ride out front, sticking way out from my body. Every baby sits differently in the womb, but I have literally had strangers say to me, "Ooooh! You're ALL BABY! You must be about to pop!"

Be careful of what you wish for.

Mommy Unplugged

****WARNING! I'm talking about gross stuff again.****

This past Tuesday, I was sitting in Husband's office as we were finishing up our break. All of a sudden, I felt something warm between my legs. Husband saw the look of surprise on my face as I jumped up and closed his door.

I shoved my hand down my pants, but I didn't feel anything wet. I thought that maybe I'd started leaking amniotic fluid.

"Something just happened. Walk me to the bathroom?"

Husband and I found this situation amusing because just as we pulled into work that morning, Husband's low-gasoline light started blinking. "Wouldn't it be ironic if my water breaks today?" I'd said. Not that we wouldn't have the time to stop and fill up the gas tank, but it just seemed like the kind of thing that would happen. Boom! My water breaks and the first thing we have to think about is where to get gas for the car.

When I went to the bathroom, there was no liquidy fluid, just a lot of discharge.

I already knew about the mucous plug that keeps a lady's cervix sealed against germs until shortly before the baby is born. I knew that it can come out all at once or bit by bit. I wasn't quite sure what it looked like, though. Descriptions I'd read said that it was clear and jelly-like.

This did not accurately describe what was all over my pantyliner. It was kind of white-ish, snot-like, and there were little flecks of blood in it. I thought that maybe I have an infection.

I cleaned up, went and told Husband what was going on, and called my OBGYN's office.

"Sounds like your mucous plug is coming out," the nurse told me. I explained that it wasn't clear and "jelly-like" like I'd heard it's supposed to be. I thought "jelly-like" meant it would be a little denser than what I was experiencing. I mean "mucous plug" sounds like it has some substance to it, right? Not like it's the consistency of concrete, but the goopy stuff that came out of me didn't seem like the kind of thing that could stay wedged up in my cervix for months on end. It didn't seem viscous enough.

"Is it the consistency of snot?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"It's probably just your mucous plug. It could have been mixed with the normal discharge that comes with pregnancy, so it doesn't look clear. The blood is normal, too. As your plug comes out, it can take little pieces of blood with it because the whole reason that the plug is coming out is that your cervix is starting to dilate and that can cause some light bleeding..."

That night, I had more come out. Then more Wednesday (yesterday) morning. I had a check-up at my OBGYN's office yesterday afternoon and I talked to the midwife about it.

"Was it the consistency of snot?"

"Um. Yeah. Pretty much."

"Sounds like your mucous plug. But I'll look at a sample under the microscope and make sure that nothing else is going on."

Turns out that I have no infections. Just my mucous plug coming out.

More came out last night, and more has come out today. I have this image of Elise slowly tunneling her way out of my uterus.

In fact, I made myself laugh yesterday as I got a Bugs Bunny-like image of her popping her head out, looking around, and saying, "I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque."

Eviction Notice

Things are moving along!

I had an OBGYN's appointment today. I am 1 centimeter dilated! Yay! I am 50% effaced! Yay! Elise is at station -2! Yay!

Let me translate, to the best of my ability and understanding.

Pregnant ladies have to dilate 10 centimeters before they can push the baby out, but most of that dilating happens once they start going into labor. Ladies can dilate a few centimeters before the REAL labor starts, though, and that's what my body has started doing. I'm 1/10th of the way to popping out a baby.

The cervix has to not only widen/dilate but also become thinner. Ultimately, pregnant ladies need to be 100% effaced. I'm half way there, at 50%.

And "station" refers to how far down into my pelvis the baby's head is. The stations go from -4, when the baby is floating and not at all in the pelvis, to +4, which is crowning. Elise is at -2, so she's 1/4th of the way there.

I've also started losing my mucous plug. Yay!

Soooooo... everything is totally normal and none of that indicates that she'll be arriving any time soon. Just that things are getting started. Like they should.

I'm ready to meet you, Elise!!!

Car Seat For Baby

We bought a second car seat this weekend. We have one for each car now. That way, we won't have to go to the trouble of removing and reinstalling a car seat if we take a different car.

We already had one car seat, because we were required to have one in order to get our foster care license for young children. We'd bought a "convertible" car seat, meaning it can be back-facing for babies, then turned around to be forward-facing for bigger kids. I think that the one we got can hold kids up to 45 or 50 pounds. That's a really big kid, by the way.

The car seat that we bought this weekend is one of those baby car seats where you can remove the seat part from the base and carry the baby into the store/restaurant/whatever without unstrapping her. It only holds babies up to 22 pounds, but that's still pretty big, in my opinion, and until Elise can sit up on her own, I think that the removable seat will be handy.

Interesting fact that Husband pointed out to me: car seats expire. Turns out that the plastic slowly deteriorates and eventually the seat is considered unsafe. The convertible car seat that we bought about a year ago expires in 2015. So the seat lasts long enough for one or maybe two children, but you can't use it forever.

Middle of the Night Contractions

Aside from being sick, I got horrible sleep last night. I woke up a zillion times in the middle of the night. There was my usual THREE trips to the bathroom to pee. And then I woke up at least another 6 times (I think more) because I was having contractions.

I have contractions all throughout the day now. Last week, I kept track of how many I had on one particular day and it was over 20. But I don't usually get woken up in the night because of them. I don't know if I just don't have any while I'm sleeping or if they aren't strong enough to wake me, but I've never noticed them before.

I'm having a contraction as I type this, in fact.

But anyhow, last night I woke up having a contraction. I turned over and went back to sleep. Then I woke up again from a contraction. By the third one, I thought to myself, "Maybe my labor has started." But I decided that if that was the case, the best thing I could do is try to get some sleep before it got any worse. I had a few more contractions and by morning they were gone.

I'm so tired today. My body is really getting ready! I wonder if any of these contractions are dialating my cervix. I hope that they are.

36 WEEKS!

36 weeks! 36 weeks! I'm officially full-term! Woo hoo!

Technically, the baby could arrive any day now. Although it'll probably be at least another 4 weeks.

I don't care!

I can see the finish line from here!!!

Sick Again

I'm sick today. Caught it from Husband and Foster Son. Cough, congestion, headache, tummy ache. Blah. Being pregnant AND sick is awful.

I've actually been remarkably healthy during this pregnancy. I attribute it to the vitamins. I guess I can't complain too much, because overall I've been pretty lucky to have avoided most of the colds and flus and viruses that have been going around for the past 9 months.

I just reeeeeeeally hope that I'm healthy by the time Elise decides to arrive. I don't want to be coughing up phlegm while I'm pushing.