2009, Year Of The Baby

Husband and I have been working to start our family for years. Last January, I just KNEW that 2009 would be our year. (I expected that we'd get matched for adoption.) I referred to 2009 as "Year of the Baby" in my head, as a way to keep my spirits up about the looooong process that starting a family had become for us. I'd even write "YOTB" on my calendar at work to remind myself that good things would happen this year.

We haven't been matched for adoption yet, but 2009 DID turn out to be our Year of the Baby. What will 2010 be?

Year of New Family.

These Booties Were Made For Walking

I'm trying to get more exercise. Exercising is not easy at this stage of the game, so walking will have to do.

Husband is being very supportive. He walks with me during our breaks at work. Two 15 minute breaks = 30 minutes of exercise. Yay! I'm not totally sedentary.

Last Name Game

I didn't change my last name when I got married. Husband was completely supportive of this decision and it was never even remotely an issue in our relationship. Why should it be?

For some reason, it bothers me when people ask, "Oh, you KEPT your maiden name?" No. I didn't change my last name. There's a small-- but to me, important-- difference. I have the right to choose whether I change my name. It's more common in North American society for women to change their family name upon marriage, but it IS a choice that the woman gets to make. I'm happy for and support any woman who makes the decision to adopt her husband's family name. It just wasn't right for me. But I don't feel like I "kept" something, as my last name was mine and will always be mine; I didn't change my name, that's all.

Sooooo, now Husband and I are having a baby. And we have to figure out what her last name will be.

Husband and I agreed a while ago to both change our last names to a very lovely combination of our two family names. One new name, combined from the sounds of our last names. It seemed like the most progressive thing to do. Our immediate family would all have the same last name, and we'd be honoring our birth families' heritage with out slighting anyone. None of our extended family LOVED the idea, but Husband's dad in particular strongly objected. Our plans for a new last name were eventually laid to rest.

Husband and I still have different last names. And, considering that we both made this baby, and especially considering that I'm carrying her, my family name will be equally represented in her name.

We had originally planned to give her one last name with two words and no hyphen. So, "Smith Jones" for example. I'm not a fan of hyphens. However, I'm realizing that people will just drop the first last name, regardless of the legality, and call her by only "Jones".

I'm starting to think that we should hyphenate. The truth of the matter is, eventually she will go by whatever name or combination of names she prefers. So maybe I shouldn't get so concerned about it. I just need to figure out what we'll put on the birth certificate.

Sugar Water

I'm at a lab right now, getting tested for pregnancy diabetes. It's a routine test where I live.

I had to fast, starting last night. No breakfast this morning. The phlebotomist took my blood, then had me drink a bottle of orange colored sugar water. Now I have to wait for an hour and then get another blood draw.

Baby is NOT happy about having sugar water for breakfast.

The baby is on a food schedule already. If I haven't eaten breakfast by 8:30, lunch by 11:30 or dinner by 6:30, she gets very angry. Kicking and tossing around. If I eat on schedule, she's less active. So demanding! I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet. I'll have to figure out how to use it to my advantage once she's born.

Umbilical Hernia

Turns out that my crazy belly button is a result of an umbilical hernia.

The midwife at my checkup yesterday told me about it. She said that I've always had a little hole near my belly button where guts could squish out, but it was just never a problem before. Now that my belly is big, it's more obvious. Fortunately, my guts are behind my baby right now, so they won't squish out while I'm pregnant. The midwife said I might need to get the hernia repaired after the baby is born. We'll just have to wait and see.

Then she said, "But if it turns black and blue, come in right away."

Sure thing.

So I'm sad that I might need "repairing" after the pregnancy. And my belly button will never look the same again. The upside, though, is that when Elise sticks her little elbow into the gaping hole in my abdomen and pops up into my belly button, I can really FEEL her. I can pet her and touch her gently and feel her move. And that's really cool.

Big Momma

The holidays were good to me. Too good. I have gained too much weight this month.

Upon realizing this, I became horribly depressed. I don't want to exercise. I feel tired and lazy and hungry all of the time. I want to sit against a pile of pillows, wrapped in blankets, eat chocolate, and grow a beautiful baby girl. I would get up only to go to the bathroom and to get back massages. And organize the baby clothes.

Thanks a lot holiday cookies, cakes, and other assorted, delicious treats!

New Year's resolution? Make better food choices. I will start in 3 days...

It's The Final Countdown

First day of my third trimester!!!

The Pokey Little Puppy

Last night was horrible. I couldn't sleep.

There's this one spot on my left side that where I can often feel a little baby foot/elbow/knee/whatever. A hard lump of baby poking against my already over-stretched belly. It's uncomfortable at best and down right painful sometimes. Last night, I kept waking up in pain. That little spot felt bruised and Baby had her foot/elbow/knee/whatever firmly lodged in place. She did not want to move.

I tried everything. Changing positions, pressing against both sides of my belly to get her to move, talking to her nicely, taking to her with pain and frustration in my voice. She'd move for a second, and then slide her little baby body right back against my ouch spot.

I've been hurting all day long today. I finally gave up on trying to get her to move when I pressed against the baby bump and she swiftly hit me right back in that bruised spot about 6 times in a row. That REALLY hurt.

Fine, Elise. You win. I just hope I get a callus or something, because 3 more months of painful baby poking might drive me insane.

Looking A Bit Blue

*Warning: I talk about my lady parts in this post.*

So last night I noticed (don't ask) that my lower lady parts were BLUE! What? BLUE!!! Blue, I say!

Actually, it kinda looked like they had been colored with blue magic marker and then I tried to wash it off, but a ghostly shadow of blue remained. Making things look bluish-purple.

Yikes!

Normally, blue skin is a bad sign. "My lady parts are in trouble!" I thought. "They're dying!" But nothing hurt or felt weird. They were just blue. So I went from WTF mode to hey-Husband-check-this-out mode. We both thought it looked crazy.

After a bit of moving around, the blue color started to go away. Got the old circulation going, I guess. Or the baby was pressing against my hoo-hoo artery and then moved. Dunno. But nothing's fallen off yet, so I must be okay.

Merry Christmas and...

We're naming her Elise. :) This picture is from a 3D ultrasound image taken December 16th. I have the best Christmas present ever all wrapped up in my belly. I love her so much.

Holiday Road Trip

Husband and I went home to visit our parents and celebrate the holidays early this year. At 26 weeks, a 6 hour car ride is no fun. My back hurts enough as it is, but being confined to a car for half the day makes it even harder. Going to see family is worth the inconvenience, though. I just don't think I'll be traveling much in my 3rd trimester.

Scientific Method

When we went to get our 19 week ultrasound, the doctor asked us if we wanted to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. We did. So as the technician scanned up between the baby's legs, the doctor said, "If it's a boy, we'll see a little shape like a turtle. If it's a girl, we'll see a clam."

Our baby has a clam.

No Post Yesterday

I was so busy yesterday, I didn't get a chance to make a blog post. Rest assured, Baby Girl, I was talking about you aaaaaaall day long.

Jinxed

It's my own fault. I said I was as healthy as a horse and now I'm sick. Headache, sore throat, congestion, cough, fatigue. Plus, Foster Son was sick last night and kept waking up... meaning I kept waking up... meaning I'm sick AND tired.

My OBGYN's office said I could take a Tylenol, which I did. My head feels a little better.

Blah.

I'm Having A...

a. Baby

b. Girl

c. Panic attack everytime I think about pushing a baby out of my body

d. All of the above


Answer: d!!!

Fun House Mirror

I just don't FEEL as big as I am right now. I'll catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or the reflection of a window and think, "OMG!!! I had no IDEA!" I've started knocking my belly into things, too, because I'm so unaware of the new outer edges of my body. Pregnant bellies change so quickly, it's hard to get used to it.

Clown Shoes

I've had several people tell me that I will need to get new shoes while I'm pregnant.

Just yesterday, one of Foster Son's teachers said, "Be sure you get you some comfortable shoes! My feet swole up like crazy when I was pregnant!"

I haven't had any foot problems yet. Maybe it's too early.

If I look straight down, I can't see my feet anymore. But I can still lean forward and look around my belly to see them. Kinda weird, having a big ol' belly in the way.

Healthy As A Horse

I've read that pregnant ladies have compromised immune systems. They get sick more quickly and more severely. Not me!

Except for my morning sickness (which more than makes up for it, if you ask me), I've been healthier than ever. Foster Son and Husband both have rotten colds right now. I had a sore throat for one day. One day! And I'm back to feeling alright. I've usually had a winter cold or two by this point in the holiday season. Allergies. Sinus infection. Something. But for the past 6 months I've been as healthy as a horse. Or a crocodile. I hear that crocodiles never get sick.

Thanks, Baby!

No More Placenta Previa!

We had another ultrasound this morning. My placenta has moved up, so I don't have placenta previa anymore. Yay! No scheduled c-section for me! (Hear that baby? You will have a conehead after all!)

The baby was wonderfully healthy, beautiful, and active. Baby stuck its little tongue out at us during the ultrasound. Hee hee! I love you extra for that, Baby!

Baby was in the head-down position during the ultrasound and weighed 1 pound, 11 ounces.

During the procedure, Husband started asking the technician how the ultrasound machine works. By way of explanation, she showed us our baby using the fancy 4-D ultrasound machine. Normally, you have to pay extra to have them use the 4-D machine. We got lucky! We got some great pictures of our baby's face, thanks to Husband.

Oh, god. I'm so in love with you, Baby. Again, as soon as we stepped out the office I just cried and cried. Happy tears. Happy tears of mommy joy.

Diaper Purchase

Husband and I bought some diapers. Two big boxes-- 336 diapers in all. That should last us about a month or a little more. The diapers are for the 16-22 pound range. But we had a really great coupon, so we didn't want to pass up a good deal.

Yay! I love a bargain.

An Excuse To Eat Cake

Husband and I celebrate three different anniversaries: the day we first started dating again, the day we got married, and the day of our wedding. Today is the three year anniversary of our marriage.

SO LET'S EAT SOME CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!

We're having my sister and her hubby over tonight for chocolate cake dessert. Having a 3 year old at home means that you reduce your stress-level on special days by not venturing into public. Having a pregnant belly means that you celebrate with food.

Three years! And now I'm pregnant! What a happy day.

Light Bright

Baby responds to Husband's laser pointer now!

Our little kitten had been still all morning, and then Husband shined his laser pointer on my belly. BANG! Baby is moving all around.

I read that Baby's eyes are opening this week. What do you see, Baby? Diffused red light? That's a laser pointer. Can you say "lay-zer point-er?"

Newborn Clothes Inventory

Husband and I took an inventory of our newborn baby clothes last night. We have 9 little outfits.

How many outfits does a newborn baby wear each day? Two? Do I not even have a week's worth of clothes? We have 5 onesies (one is longsleeved), a pair of pants, two one piece outfits with footies, and two outfits without footies. Oh, and two little hats.

Don't worry, Baby. You won't go naked. We'll get some more clothes.

Furious

Foster Son intentionally hit me in the stomach tonight with closed fists.

I'm really mad about it. Don't want to talk about it, other than to say it happened. Somehow I managed to hold it together for the most part, but as soon as Husband came over I had to walk away. And stay away for a little bit.

Momma bear. RAWR!!!!

My Grocery Store Loves Me and Baby!

I told you before that I signed up for my local grocery store's baby club thingy. Well, today a package arrived from the grocery store-- we got a BOOK in the mail, and a ton of really good coupons.

The book is, like, a real book. Not a pamphlet of tips on how to keep from failing miserably as a parent. It's over 750 pages long. The kind of thing you would check out from the library or purchase in a bookstore.

And the coupons are serious deals. Some of them are even for free stuff. Just FREE.

Grocery store, you know how to impress a pregnant lady!

Baby Dream: Irresponsible Behavior

Magzilla! You were in my dream last night!

Husband and I were at Magzilla's house-- or what was supposed to be her house in the dream, at least. There was a little party going on. I was mingling and talking to people and then I looked over at Husband and he had Magzilla's camera and he was taking pictures down his pants. He thought it was funny that she would look on her camera later and see pictures of his penis.

I got really mad and grabbed the camera away from him. I was yelling, "That's NOT funny!" as I deleted the pictures. Then I started scrolling through the rest of the pictures to make sure that Husband didn't take more of them at a different time.

Instead of weenie shots, I found pictures of ME... doing flips off of Magzilla's couch! There I was, big belly and all, upside down in the air. There were tons of those pictures. I was mortified. "How could I have done such an irresponsible thing?," I kept thinking. "Was I drunk? I don't feel drunk now. How did this happen???"

I woke up very confused. I think now that "my" flips are just my subconscious thinking about the baby flipping around in my belly. And yesterday was Magzilla's due date, so I must have been thinking about her, too. Silly brain.

Pregnant Ladies Need Extra Pillows

I've realized that the most comfortable way for me to sleep right now requires extra pillows. I like to lie not-quite on my back and not-quite on my side. Sort of a 45 degree angle. So I need a pillow for my head, a pillow behind my back, a pillow under my belly, and ideally I'd also have a pillow between my knees.

Husband let me use one of his pillows last night to help construct the aforementioned sleep-nest and I seriously got better sleep because of it. I'd say that I only woke up 4 times during the night instead of 6. And, hey, that's a huge improvement in my book.

Sleep deprivation makes people crazy, you know. It's a torture tactic. I'm just saying that pregnant ladies are definitely entitled to a few emotional outbursts and/or fits of narcoleptic behavior. And they are also entitled to all of the extra pillows in the house. Without question.

More Coupons

I got some coupons in the mail yesterday from Luvs. Two coupons for $2.50 off any diaper purchase. Not bad. I also got an email news letter from Seventh Generation with printable coupons.

I guess it IS worth it to sign up with these companies. I've started a little coupon box in my kitchen. I feel so domestic.

Random Thought

I wonder at what point in human history having children became more than just "what naturally happens" (or doesn't happen) during a person's lifetime. We have a lot of choices in our society when it comes to making babies. I'm thankful for those choices. But the reason that we have choices is because there is so much social pressure attached to a woman's decision to have children.

Nowadays, so many aspects of human social behavior are involved with the decision to have a baby. Religion often factors in--are you married?, can you use birth control? Does society think you're old enough or too old to have a baby? Do your politics play a part in whether or not you feel you have an option to terminate the pregnancy? Have you had "too many" children, or not enough? Do you choose to have children to help you in some way, like tending to a farm? Are children a status symbol in your society? Do you need a son to pass on your family name or inherit your worth?

I mean, at one point we were just like all the other animals, having sex and making babies, and then kicking them out of the nest as soon as possible. I wonder when children became a decision or an effort or a basis for judgment. When was value attached to the child itself? Children can be a liability just as much as they can be an asset. Especially when resources are rare. Why did our society evolve to try and force the idea that they are always an asset (i.e., don't have an abortion and giving your baby up for adoption means there is something wrong with your ability to be a good parent)?

Random thought.

Love Birds

Husband and I have known each other for over 18 years. We met in 7th grade Language Arts class. It's a wonderful feeling to have known my partner for such a long time. To be so sure about our relationship. To enjoy our friendship every bit as much as I enjoy the romance.

I'm so happy. And I want our baby to know that there is an immeasurable amount of love and joy in our decision to become biological parents. Husband and I can't wait to share our lives with our sweet little babycake.

This morning as we were waking up I said to Husband, "There's a baby in my belly." (It still amazes me.)

"There sure is." He reached over and touched my tummy.

"I love our baby so much."

"So do I."

"I love you so much."

"I love you so much, too."

"Our baby is made from so much love. All of our love."

"It sure is."

Hug, hug, kiss, kiss.

That's a great way to start the morning. I'm so lucky.

Snap, Crackle, and Pop

My lower backbone has been popping like crazy lately. Not the stress-relieving crackling of a good stretch, either. Just about any time I get up from lying down, "CRRRRRRAAAAACK!" right up four or five of my lower vertebrae.

One of my coworkers, remembering his wife's pregnancy years ago, has asked me if my hips have started popping yet. I guess his wife would get crackly hips if she sat down for too long. My hips aren't popping, just my back. I read that pregnant ladies' backs do change to accomodate the baby and the extra weight, so maybe that's what's happening to me.

My belly sure is getting bigger. The baby's supposed to weigh about 1.5 pounds right now. That doesn't sound like much, but carrying it around your waist all day DOES get tiring. Not to mention the amniotic fluid and the giant boobies. It's like carrying weights with you everywhere you go. Gosh. No wonder I'm so tired.

Yep. That's My Bladder.

Baby found my bladder yesterday.

Fortunately, I had JUST gone to the bathroom. It was the strangest feeling, though. In the split second where Baby's litttle foot made contact with my bladder, I thought, "Yikes! I gotta peeeeee!" But since my bladder was empty, as soon as the kick was finished, the sensation went away.

Baby then proceeded to kick my bladder about 10 more times in a row. It made me laugh and laugh. It was like someone was flickering a switch-- you have to pee, no you don't, you have to pee, no you don't...

The day will come, though, when my bladder isn't so empty. I'm a little concerned.

Babymoon

Husband and I took our "babymoon" today. Our last little just-us trip before the baby arrives.

Since we've made a budget and we have a 3 year old foster son who only has visitation with his birth family on certain days, our options for the babymoon were limited. No week-long trip to Hawaii for us. We picked something that wasn't very expensive and that we knew we'd both enjoy.

We took a trip to a cave and took the guided tour. Husband and I both like caves, so it was a lot of fun for us. We also had a nice brunch, just the two of us. Getting to go to a restaurant without our darling 3 year old in tow was SOOO relaxing!

I'm glad we thought to take a babymoon. It was a really nice day.

Got My First Coupon In The Mail

Pampers wins. Of all the places that I signed up with, they were first to send me a coupon in the mail. $2.00 off when you purchase diapers and wipes at the same time. Since we'll clearly be buying both, it sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

I also signed up on the Similac website tonight. We'll see if that one pays off.

Head, Shoulders, Knees or Toes?

Last night while I was lying on my back for a second and rubbing my stomach, I felt as strange, hard lump. A tiny little lump of baby.

"Feel this!" I said to Husband.

We both freaked out. It felt so weird. It was a little elbow or knee or foot or something.

The baby moved it to line up with my belly button. Since there's less muscle and fat in the way in the spot where my belly button is poking out, we could feel the baby lump really well. We petted the baby gently. It was really cool.

You're Getting On My Nerves, Baby

Pregnancy sciatica. Add that one to the list.

Fortunately it only lasted for about 6 hours last night. I feel better this morning.

My lower back had been hurting all day yesterday. I have that spot on my right side that is pretty much always sore, and yesterday it hurt extra. Well, at about 5:00 last night I started feeling that numb, pins-and-needles feeling one gets when their extremities start to fall asleep. The tingles crept down my back and over my butt and spread down my right leg. It didn't officially hurt, but it was uncomfortable. Then, within an hour, I had a shooting pain from the achy spot in my lower back to the back of my knee on my right leg. It was terribly painful when I stood up, and manageably painful when I sat down. I literally couldn't stand up for more than a few minutes.

I asked Husband to rub my leg and back for a while, but that didn't help. Then I tried squishing on the baby to make it move, since I figured that the baby must somehow be responsible. No dice. At least I feel better this morning. I read that some ladies have sciatica for months during their pregnancy, and that sometimes it even lasts after the birth.

Dream: Oh Yeah, I'm Pregnant

I had a dream the other night that I was walking around a mall with this really attractive Chinese guy named Chung. We were flirting, and I wasn't being subtle at all about my intentions. As we rode up and down the escalators (what's that you say, Dr. Freud?) I was asking Chung to tell me his favorite way to kiss (etc., etc... I won't repeat all of my shamefully forward questions).

Then I suddenly remembered that I'm married. "That's okay," I thought to myself, "I only want to have sex with Chung."

During my dreams, I'm often highly aware of the fact that I'm dreaming. Here, I rationalized that my dream Husband must be off somewhere doing the same thing with some hot, Asian girl. And so my flirtation with Chung must be okay. I'm usually not one to let guilt stand in the way of my dream sex.

But after I remembered that I'm married, I also remembered that I'm pregnant. That was too much for my subconscious to rationalize away-- I woke up.

Call me in a few months, Chung!

Baby Bop

Since Baby's been able hear, I've been playing music for him/her. I like to put pandora.com on my computer at work and sit one of my computer speakers against my belly. Sometimes the baby kicks when the music is on, but I really don't know if the kicking is a response to the sounds or if it's just playtime in Mommy's belly regardless.

Mostly I play classical music. Partly because that seems like the best kind of music for a fetus to listen to, and partly because I have trouble concentrating at work if I hear lyrics. I read all day, so having extra words bouncing around in my head while I try to concentrate is very distracting.

I hope you like Vivaldi, Baby! (I do!)

In The Middle Of The Night

There was a brief time, after my hormones calmed down from the first trimester and before the baby was big enough to squish my bladder, when I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to pee. Those were the days.

Not that I've slept through the night since I've been pregnant. Don't get me wrong. First it was the night sweats that would wake me. (Fortunately, those are gone for now. Those first trimester hormones really did a number on me.) Then came the waking up at 2 a.m. to pee. And now I wake up whenever I have to turn over. Turning over in bed is no easy task when you're pregnant. I'm not even that big yet, but I can't flop around in my sleep like I used to, so I wake up instead. And my middle-of-the-night urges to go to the bathroom are back again, as Baby is clearly using my bladder as an ottoman. Between the peeing and the shifting of positions, I wake up at least 5 or 6 times every night.

I guess that my body is just trying to get me ready for the interrupted sleep that I will experience once Baby arrives.

Baby, I Got Your Money

Planning for Baby has meant making a lot of financial decisions. The closer my due date gets, the harder Husband and I have been working to make sure that our money is in order.

Shortly after we found out that I was pregnant, we started living almost exclusively on Husband's pay check. This has helped us save money. It has been surprisingly easy for us to live on a reduced income. Fewer restaurant meals, less shopping, fewer trips to the movie theatre, less travel... but it hasn't devastated our lifestyle. I'm SOOOOO glad we decided to save money this way. On one hand, Husband and I are disappointed in ourselves for not doing it sooner-- we could have paid off so much debt!-- but on the other hand, we were living it up before babies and foster kids came into our lives, and that's okay, too.

We also made a budget recently. Like, a real budget. One we have to stick to. I've made budgets before, but they were always more of an excercise in my philosophical musings on the ideal way to spend money and not something that I had to live by. Now, we have a set amount each month for groceries and that is that.

We've been paying down some debt (those interest payments and service charges sure do add up!) and talking about investing in CDs. We're making sure Baby will have everything it needs, including a pre-paid college plan.

I feel so grown up.

Shake It

If Baby gives me a good kick, my whole belly shakes now.

I tried to show Husband last night, but he didn't get to see. I swear that the baby can sense Husband's presence and then finds it amusing to immediately cease all movement. As my own dad pointed out, there are only so many games the kid can play while in the womb, so "hide from Daddy" is about all Baby has for entertainment right now.

That, and sitting on my bladder. I swear, I had to pee at least 5 times in a row before I got into bed last night.