Last Name Game

I didn't change my last name when I got married. Husband was completely supportive of this decision and it was never even remotely an issue in our relationship. Why should it be?

For some reason, it bothers me when people ask, "Oh, you KEPT your maiden name?" No. I didn't change my last name. There's a small-- but to me, important-- difference. I have the right to choose whether I change my name. It's more common in North American society for women to change their family name upon marriage, but it IS a choice that the woman gets to make. I'm happy for and support any woman who makes the decision to adopt her husband's family name. It just wasn't right for me. But I don't feel like I "kept" something, as my last name was mine and will always be mine; I didn't change my name, that's all.

Sooooo, now Husband and I are having a baby. And we have to figure out what her last name will be.

Husband and I agreed a while ago to both change our last names to a very lovely combination of our two family names. One new name, combined from the sounds of our last names. It seemed like the most progressive thing to do. Our immediate family would all have the same last name, and we'd be honoring our birth families' heritage with out slighting anyone. None of our extended family LOVED the idea, but Husband's dad in particular strongly objected. Our plans for a new last name were eventually laid to rest.

Husband and I still have different last names. And, considering that we both made this baby, and especially considering that I'm carrying her, my family name will be equally represented in her name.

We had originally planned to give her one last name with two words and no hyphen. So, "Smith Jones" for example. I'm not a fan of hyphens. However, I'm realizing that people will just drop the first last name, regardless of the legality, and call her by only "Jones".

I'm starting to think that we should hyphenate. The truth of the matter is, eventually she will go by whatever name or combination of names she prefers. So maybe I shouldn't get so concerned about it. I just need to figure out what we'll put on the birth certificate.