Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Almost Viable

I think that the absolute worst thing that I've had to deal with during my pregnancy is the bleeding. I love my baby so much and the thought of not getting to hold it in my arms is devastating.

The bleeding has sent me rushing to the doctor's office several times, and even resulted in the emergency room incorrectly telling me that I'd miscarried. It's been rough. And I'm still having off-and-on trouble.

Soon, though, my baby will have reached the point of viability. That means that if something starts to go terribly wrong, the hospital can deliver the baby and they will try to save its life. If something went wrong today, they would say that there is nothing they can do and they would let the baby die. (I don't say that in an accusatory way-- there probably isn't much they could do to save it.)

Considering the problems that I've had and that I've already been told once that I've miscarried, I'm a little paranoid about the possibility of losing my baby. Not obsessive or anything like that. It doesn't keep me up at night. But when I start to bleed it's very upsetting-- even though I know now that the bleeding I'm experiencing is probably no big deal (delicate cervix, low lying placenta, etc.). So reaching the point of viability will feel like a major milestone to me. I recognize that just because the baby is viable doesn't mean it will actually survive if something goes wrong... but at least they'll be able to try to save it, and that's more than what I've got right now.

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