Yay for Metamucil!

I have been so constipated. I laughingly said to myself at first, "I guess this is to give me practice pushing." But then it just got super uncomfortable. So I asked Husband to get me some Metamucil. I can't yet drink the full recommended amount of three 8 ounce glasses per day-- I drink three 4 to 5 ounce glasses-- but it's definitely helping.

Husband got me the orange flavored Metamucil. It tastes sort of like Tang. You have to drink it fast, though, or it gets all grainy and goopy. That's why I can't drink a full 8 ounces yet. I can't drink it fast enough.

It's the grossest thing that I love to eat right now.

Medicine Update

I forgot to say that I did finally get the insurance problem with my medication cleared up. It was a big fiasco, as things were all screwed up in the insurance company's computers... but now it's fixed and I can have my medicine for $15 instead of over $800.

I'm soooooo happy to not be throwing up. The medicine does make me really dizzy, though, and the dizziness happens at random times. So I can't drive. I have been singing that old Tommy Roe song a lot, though:

Crotch Bulge

I swear that I'm starting to get a tiny bulge just above my pubic bone. You can't see it, but I can feel it. I can tell that my body is different. I'm getting a baby bump!

Baby Dream & Cravings

The night before last, I had a dream about giving birth. I was laying in a bed and the baby was coming out. A nurse/midwife/doctor told me to feel between my legs and I reached down and felt the baby's head crowning. Then I got on all fours on the bed and pushed the baby out. As she slid out, I caught her, then I layed her on the bed and kissed and kissed and kissed all over her beautiful face. She had dark hair. It was a nice dream.

Aside from giving me dreams, the baby is giving me cravings. Specifically, I constantly want to eat burritos made with rice, refried beans, shredded lettuce, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, lime juice, and taco sauce. We had that for dinner last night. It might have been the most delicious thing I've ever eaten. I hope Husband likes burritos, because I'll be eating a lot of them over the next 7 months, I can guarantee.

Thank You, Insurance Company!

Yaaaaaay!!! The insurance company just approved my anti-nausea medicine! I'm so happy.

Edited to add:

I went to get my prescription filled after work today only to be told that the pharmacy's computer did not indicate that the insurance company had approved my medication for insurance coverage. The nice girl behind the counter at Walgreen's told me that their computer is linked to the insurance company's computer and so any updates are automatic. I immediately called the insurance company and spoke to a fairly incompetent lady who, after a series of questions, revealed to me that her computer there at the insurance company does not show any change to my allowance for the anti-nausea pills, either. So whoever from the insurance company told my nurse that the medication has been approved and then faxed her the information showing that the change has been made did not update the change in the proper computer database.

I asked the pharmacist to give me just one pill for tomorrow morning, hoping that by the time I return there tomorrow afternoon, my insurance problem will be solved. Did I say it costs $11 without insurance? I mean $16. So lets hope that the insurance company can get their act together tomorrow so that I don't have to buy a weekend's supply of pills without insurance coverage. I don't have an extra $100 lying around right now.

9 1/2 Weeks

Today I'm 9 1/2 weeks. Ha! Have you ever seen that movie? I'm not recommending it.

Loopy

Sigh.

So, I decided yesterday to just take the suppository medicine, remember? Well, by my second dose for the day I was completely loopy. I couldn't stay awake but I couldn't really sleep, either. My vision was blurry. I was dizzy. I didn't feel like I was inside my own body. At one point I was like, "Oh my god. I'm going insane. I will just look at this doorknob and focus and get my brain back on track and everything will be okay." So I stared at the doorknob but I couldn't focus my eyes properly and I forgot what it is I was doing and I got really dizzy and had to go sit down.

I called my nurse and told her my problem with the suppository medicine and she said she would call my insurance company and try to get them to approve the other drug. The one for chemo patients.

Well I didn't hear back from her yesterday OR today... I guess I'll call the nurse again tomorrow and ask about it, since I need to refill my prescription one way or another.

I stopped the suppository medicine and took the regular (chemo) pill last night, with great results. And I happily took one at the appropriate time again this morning. With less fantastic results. I got dizzy. Blurry vision. Sleepy. I literally felt stupider. The side effects weren't as bad as they were for the butt pills... but I was REALLY disappointed. I work at a computer all day. It's hard enough to stare at a computer screen and read tedious, boring documents, but when you can't even focus your eyes or think intelligently about what you're reading, life gets pretty rough.

BABY, YOU ARE DESTROYING ME!!!

In Through The Out Door

I was prescribed anti-nausea medicine yesterday. Yay, right? Well, like everything that's happened so far in this pregnancy, there's a small wrinkle.

First I was prescribed this pill that they give chemo patients to prevent nausea. It worked great. BUUUUUUUT my insurance company will only pay for 6 pills per 25 days. I'm supposed to take 2 pills each day, every day. Without insurance, the pills are $11 each! This makes me kind of mad. 6 pills per month? I'm about to bring a new life into this world-- one that will need an insurance policy-- and the insurance company can't help me out long enough so that I don't have to be hospitalized for dehydration? They'd save themselves some money by just covering the stupid pills.

Anyway, I called back to speak with my nurse and the doctor prescribed an alternative medicine. It has more side effects (including hallucinations and a "heightened sense of well-being"), it's less effective, I have to take it about 4 times a day... and it's a suppository.

It works okay. Not as well as the other. Really, though, I'll take just about anything right now. I couldn't eat very much yesterday, but I'm just so thrilled that I didn't throw up.

The Day The Doctor Confirmed My Pregnancy

Back to the story of how I discovered that I'm pregnant...

Recap: I'd taken a pregnancy test around 9:00 pm on July 21st and it was really, really faintly positive. Husband and I decided to go to the doctor the next day to confirm the pregnancy.

Well, I woke up the next morning and took a digital pregnancy test, just to see. The digital ones leave nothing to interpretation. The screen just says "pregnant" or "not pregnant" when the test is done. Our foster son was up early that morning, so Husband and I didn't have a private moment to take the test and read the results together. While husband got our little guy dressed, I took the test. It came back "pregnant." Not wanting to alert our foster son as to what was going on, I started singing the Dora the Explorer song that goes, "We did it! We did it! We did it! Yeah!" Husband was very excited.

I called my doctor that morning and made an appointment for that afternoon. Husband came with me to the appointment. We waited FOREVER in the waiting room, because ours was the last appointment of the day and they were behind schedule. Finally, they let me go pee in a cup. Eventually we got called into a room.

The doctor walked in and said, "Well, you ARE pregnant. Congratulations..."

She gave me a talk about still being able to exercise, but maybe not doing risky things like rollerskating. She said that 30% of early pregnancies end in miscarriage. Eat well. Don't smoke. Don't drink. The typical stuff. On the way out, she gave me some paperwork to go get my blood drawn, so they could check my hormone levels and tell me how far along I am.

Husband and I decided to tell just our sisters and our parents. We tried to get everyone to Skype with us that night, but it proved impossible. We knew that they'd all be very surprised because we'd been telling people for years that we were not likely to ever have biological children. Pregnancy has never appealed to me-- it's just never been something that I WANTED to do. Husband and I have always wanted children, however, and so we first got approved to be adoptive parents through the state foster care system, and then became foster parents with the hopes of being able to eventually adopt. Our families knew that kids were on the horizon, but not biological kids.

We really wanted to be able to see everyone's face when we told them the news. But our sisters couldn't Skype that night. After work, Husband called his sister. She was surprised and didn't quite believe him at first. Then we went to my sister's house. She was NOT especially surprised... but she was the only one. Leaving my sister's house, I called my other sister. She sounded happy about the news.

That night, we Skyped our parents. We called my parents first. When we told them they gasped. They were very happy. Then we called Husband's dad. When Husband said, "Wife and I are pregnant," there was a long pause. Then a surprised look, once it registered. The same thing happened when we called Husband's mom. It was funny how they both seemed to have to think about it before it made sense. The parents were all beside themselves with happiness, though. I wish that we'd done screen shots of their faces, to show them later. It was pretty awesome.

It was a very happy day.

Relief?

Things got really bad last night. I couldn't even keep water down. So I called my nurse this morning and I'm being prescribed some anti-nausea medicine. I hope it works. She said that if the medicine doesn't work by tomorrow and I still can't keep fluids in me, I'll have to go to the emergency room and be re-hydrated. Yikes!

Turns out that I've lost over 7 pounds since I've been pregnant. That's no good. I weighed 115 when I got pregnant... this morning I weighed 107.5. Maybe I'll be able to eat again soon. I keep looking up advice for people suffering from morning sickness and reading things like "avoid fried foods" or "don't eat anything too spicy." HA! When plain rice is too much for my stomach to handle, the last thing I want to eat is Chile Rellenos, you know?

Oh, and it turns out that I don't have another urinary tract infection. Weird. Wonder what the symptoms I was experiencing were all about. Whatever. One less medicine that I have to take. I guess that my body was just rebelling. Or I had a mild one and it took care of itself by the time I went to the doctor.

Well, hope for me that my anti-nausea medicine works and I don't have to make a trip to the ER tomorrow.

This sucks.

I'm laying in bed right now, trying not to throw up. I've actually been doing this all day. My morning sickness is so bad that I can't get out of bed without going directly to the bathroom. I just took some medicine (oh yeah, I have another urinary tract infection), so I'm trying very hard not to throw up until the medicine has a chance to do some good.

Oh, I did get up once today. I decided mid-afternoon that I shouldn't stay in my nightgown all day long... so I got up and changed into some pajamas. I see the futility now, but at the time it made a lot of sense.

I've been eating such terribly bland food for the past few days that when Husband brought me some (unsweetened) applesauce earlier I was like, "Wow! This is really flavorful!" and wasn't sure at first that I'd be able to eat it.

I'm miserable. :(

AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!

I woke up in the middle of the night last night to throw up! I'd already puked twice during the day. When I woke up, it wasn't like I went to the bathroom, vomited, felt better, and went back to sleep. No, I was in there for a good 15 minutes dry heaving before I painfully puked up the only contents in my malnourished tummy-- some foamy stomach acid.

I've already lost at least 3 pounds since I've been pregnant. I'm so hungry. I'm not kidding. I think all the time about delicious foods that I want to eat. I can't wait to eat chips and salsa, pad thai, or french fries again. Just about the only thing I can keep down right now is saltine crackers with peanut butter and water. Plus I'm slowly becoming a prisoner in my own home, because I'm afraid that if I leave, I'll get sick.

This is horrible. I love you, baby, but you are not making the best first impression on me here.

More Baby Boy Dreams

I keep dreaming that this baby is a boy!

The night before last, I dreamed that I looked down at my chest and it was covered in hair. I thought, "I must be having a boy! His testosterone is making me grow chest hair." Then I pondered whether it was better to shave it and deal with stubble or just let it grow.

Last night, I dreamed that my mother had a baby boy. I asked her what she named him and she said, "William Robert." (Billy Bob???) My mother went on to tell me all about the epidural procedure she experienced and that now people put their babies in cages to sleep because its safer for the kid.

The flu? Are you kidding me?

I threw up repeatedly last night. Since I usually vomit from morning sickness in the morning, I'm going out on a limb here and assuming that I caught the flu. NOT "swine flu"-- I have no cough. Mild fever, upset stomach, and fatigue, but no cough.

I watched the Octomom special online last night, pausing it to throw up every once in a while. While I was vomiting I would think, "I wonder how bad morning sickness is when you're pregnant with eight kids." The schadenfreude provided only momentary relief.

It seems unfair that a pregnant lady who is already suffering from morning sickness and who JUST stopped throwing up every day should catch the flu. Or maybe it's extra fair. Like, "Hey, you're already feeling crappy and now that you've had lots of practice throwing up... here ya go."

Prenatal Vitamins

Have you seen these things? They're horse pills. No fun to swallow when I'm already feeling like I might throw up. Plus, they add to my queeziness. I keep trying to find a good time to take them. I started out in the morning, which was fine before the morning sickness began. But then once I was throwing up, I realized that I might as well just toss them in the toilet directly if I were to keep taking them with breakfast. So I tried lunchtime... but taking my vitamin at lunchtime made me feel horribly sick. Now I'm taking it with dinner, because I can at least lie down after dinner.

One of my pregnant friends said that prenatal vitamins make her too sick and she's taking Flintstones vitamins instead. Lucky!

Feeling Slightly Better

I think I might be on the upswing from this morning sickness problem. I haven't thrown up in a couple of days. Dry heaved so hard it hurt? Yes. Burped vomity acid into my mouth over and over again? Yes. Felt queezy all day long? Yes. But no official puking, so there's definite improvement. Yay!!!

The nurse at my OBGYN's office said that most women start to slowly feel better around the 8th or 9th week, with the morning sickness completely gone by the 12th week or so. For once, I am soooo happy to be like "most women."

The Night I Found Out That I'm Pregnant

In July I got this weird sort of half-period. It wasn't "implantation bleeding" like you can read about on the internet. It wasn't a few beautiful spots of pink blood around the time my period should have arrived. I had five days of gross brown blood. Not quite as heavy as a period, but nothing to be ignored, either.

I got suspicious, though, because: 1) I had gotten that random urinary tract infection, 2) the blood never turned red, like a normal period, and 3) it was lighter than my periods usually are. So I decided to go ahead and take a pregnancy test. Why not? Might as well rule out the easiest thing to rule out, I told myself. I didn't even tell my husband I was going to take one. In fact, I'd decided that if I WAS pregnant, I wouldn't even tell him that day. I would go to the store the next morning, buy a card, write "Happy Father's Day" inside, and surprise him with the news during our lunch break at work. I knew he'd be very excited if I was pregnant, and I knew I would need some time for it to sink in before I could fully process it.

Well, Husband tells me around 9:00 pm on July 21st that he's going to go take a shower. So I run into the other bathroom, take the pregnancy test, and wait for the required 3 minutes, staring at the little window all the while to see if a pink line shows up.

The watch beeps and the faintest little line has appeared. Crap. What does that mean? I look at the instructions for the pregnancy test and they say something like "The test line and the pregnancy indicator line may not be the same color." Okay. But what if the pregnancy indicator line is only barely there? What if they're no where NEAR the same color???

All of my plans to surprise my husband with the results of the test fly right out of my brain. I am frantic to understand what is going on. I run to the other bathroom and bang on the door. Husband throws the door open, thinking something is seriously wrong. "What? What?" I tell him that I need him to look at something and take him to the other bathroom where I hand him the pregnancy test. "Do you see two lines or one?" I ask. "Umm... looks like two." He starts smiling immediately. "Are you sure? Its really faint," I say. "Yeah," he says, "But I see two."

I always assumed that if I ever took a pregnancy test and it was positive I would cry. For joy or sorrow or whatever, but I would cry. Instead, I just stood there. It seemed incredibly unreal.

We agreed that we would go to the doctor the next day, just to make sure that we read the test right.

Baby, I Love You

I really loved the baby for the first time this past Sunday. More than the superficial, obligatory love that you have to feel in this situation. I fell IN love with the baby, I guess you could say.

I was in the kitchen washing dishes and listening to an Aretha Franklin cd. "Baby I Love You" came on and all of the sudden I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I DO love the baby. No matter how sick I get or how much pregnancy hurts, it seemed like it would all be okay if it was for the baby.

Dream Baby

I had 3 separate dreams last night that my baby will be a boy. My conscious brain, though, thinks it's a girl. I wonder who's right!

I was thinking right before bed about how someone I know will be having a boy soon, so maybe that influenced my dreams.

Well, we have boy AND girl names picked out, so Husband and I are prepared either way.

Lotrimin for Ringworm While Pregnant

Update on my battle against ringworm. My OBGYN said that I could use Lotrimin, and so I am. Lotrimin Ultra, in fact, and it's definitely helping. I think that the salt would have gotten rid of it eventually, but this is working more quickly. What relief!

Lotrimin Ultra has a "pregnancy rating" by the FDA of B-- meaning, "we're pretty sure that this won't hurt your baby, but only take it if you really need to and if your doctor tells you it's okay." So please don't think that I'm saying it's okay for other pregnant ladies to use... talk to you doctor first!!!

Siiiiiick

Threw up for the first time yesterday morning. Violently. Every muscle in my body was pushing down and/or out. I seriously couldn't breathe. It was awful. I was hanging on to the toilet at work, vomiting, thinking to myself, "I'm going to pass out, hit my head on the edge of the toilet, and die. I will have one of those pathetic, freak-accident deaths that you hear about every once in a while." When I was done, my ribs hurt and I was dizzy. But at least I was still conscious.

I threw up this morning, too, but it was much less painful. And I was still at home. Stupid morning sickness.

First Clue I Might Be Pregnant

My last real menstrual cycle started on June 22. Doctors count the baby's gestational date from the start of the mother's last period, even though the baby isn't conceived for about another 2 weeks.

Around July 9th or so, I started to get a urinary tract infection. I've had them before, so I know right away what it is when I get one, but I'm usually already kind of sick when I get one and this time it was just out of the blue. "That's strange," I said to myself, bought some Azo, and went on with my life. By Sunday July 12th the infection wasn't clearing up on its own and it was getting worse, so I went to a walk-in clinic.

They had me pee into a cup. When the doctor walked in she said, "Well, you're not pregnant. But you DO have an infection..." As she talked on, I glanced over at a calendar on the wall and did some quick counting. "Well, even if I were pregnant, she wouldn't be able to detect it yet. Hey. Maybe that's why I got this infection. Pregnant ladies are more prone to UTIs," I thought to myself.

And that was the first time that a doctor incorrectly told me that I'm not pregnant.

Sick and Tired

I just took a 25 minute nap on the floor of my office. And you know what? It was SOOOOO worth it. Man, I'm tired lately.

I'm still spotting. In fact, when I went and got my first ultrasound done on Monday, it was because my appointment had been moved up by a week because I called and told the OBGYN's office about the bleeding. As of Monday, the baby appeared okay. Right on target for growth at 7 weeks. The midwife said that this early in the pregnancy all we can do is wait and hope for the best. Which is what I'm doing.

My morning sickness is HORRIBLE, by the way. I haven't actually thrown up yet, but I'm constantly nauseaus and dry heaving. I'm so hungry all of the time but I dread eating because I feel unbelievably sick as soon as the food hits my stomach. I got some of those Sea Bands things-- the bracelets with the little nubs that press on your pressure points. They actually do help me quite a bit, but I feel so awful that they provide only a limited amount of relief.

My mother told me how she had morning sickness all 9 months when she was pregnant with me. Oh PLEASE let that not be hereditary!

I Couldn't Be Happier

Baby! I saw your heart beat today. Amazing! You are a fuzzy little blip in my belly right now. When I saw you I cried with happiness. My eyes are getting wet again just thinking about it.

Ringworm While Pregnant

I'm laying in bed on my belly while I type this because my back is covered in salt.

The reason that I went to the doctor two days ago is that I have tinea corporis-- roughly translated to mean "fungus butt" more commonly known as "ringworm." My foster son is taking swimming lessons, and so I'm blaming the YMCA for this predicament. Once I realized that I had ringworm, I checked the collective wisdom of the internet to see if I can take over-the-counter anti-fungal medicine while pregnant. Turns out that the answer is "no." I waited a few days, hoping that a couple of spots of ringworm would be no big deal, but it started to spread and I got REALLY itchy.

I thought that my doctor might be able to help, so I made an appointment. Surely she knows of some not-over-the-counter medicine that pregnant ladies can take, right? Nope. I'm glad that I went to the doctor that day anyway, because I started spotting while I was there and she gave me the necessary paperwork to get my hormone levels tested, BUT I got no relief for the ringworm.

At home after the doctor's office, I did another search on the internet and found that you can put sea salt on your ringworm spots to dry them out. Home remedy. Figuring that salt on your skin can't be THAT bad if you're pregnant, I called my soon-to-be OBGYN to confirm. I was told that it should be okay, just to discontinue it if I have any reactions on my skin.

So my dear, sweet husband has been making sea salt and water pastes and spreading them all over my back, stomach, and legs for the past three nights. We let the salt sit on my skin for 40 minutes before wiping it off. It seems to be helping. I'm not itchy anymore, at least. And some of the spots appear to be going away. Yay!

First Morning Sickness, First Dream About Being Pregnant

Yesterday was a day of firsts. I had my first real morning sickness, starting right when I woke up. I've felt queezy a few times since I found out that I was pregnant, but I didn't actually think I would throw up. I was dry heaving yesterday. I didn't ever puke, but I thought for sure that I would. You know how right before you throw up, sometimes your mouth fills with spit and your eyes get all watery? It was like that. I felt sick, in varying intensities, pretty much all day. It wasn't until about 8 p.m. that I really got an appetite. I was suddenly very hungry. And that was the most delicious can of vegetable soup I've ever tasted.

Then, last night I had my first dream about being pregnant. In my dream, I woke up and I undressed, intending to get ready for work. I looked down at my breasts and noticed that one of my nipples was HUGE. It was massive, and it felt all spongy and rubbery. I thought to myself, "But this is so early! It's only going to get bigger. How will the baby ever fit it's little mouth around that?"

Yesterday at the Doctor's Office

So, before I tell you about the last 6 and 1/2 weeks, let me tell you what happened yesterday.

After I was done seeing the doctor, I decided to use the bathroom before heading back to work. There was blood. I've had some occasional spotting but this seemed like more than usual. I went and told the nurse, who had me wait to see the doctor again. The doctor told me (as she has before) that there's a 30% chance of miscarriage in a new pregnancy and that there's almost nothing that can be done to stop a miscarriage in the 1st trimester. She also said that some bleeding in the beginning isn't that uncommon. The doctor told me to go get my blood taken the next day (today) so that we can see if my hormone levels look okay. Then I'll need to get them rechecked in a week.

I got my blood drawn this morning and got the results back this afternoon. The number looks good (43,876) but without a number to compare it to, there's no way to know for sure if everything is okay. Once I get my blood drawn next week and we see if the number is going up or down, we can figure out if the blood yesterday was a bad sign or no big deal.

Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Hi!

I'm pregnant! 6 weeks, 3 days along. I keep hearing that every woman and each pregnancy is unique-- so this is MY experience. I'm 30 years old and I'm pregnant for the first (and probably only) time. I'm excited, scared, and hoping to remember every minute of my pregnancy. These first few weeks have already been a drama-filled emotional roller coaster.

I'm at the doctor's office as I type this, so I'll have to fill you in on the last month and a half another time. But believe me, it's quite a story.

Thanks for reading!