Loopy

Sigh.

So, I decided yesterday to just take the suppository medicine, remember? Well, by my second dose for the day I was completely loopy. I couldn't stay awake but I couldn't really sleep, either. My vision was blurry. I was dizzy. I didn't feel like I was inside my own body. At one point I was like, "Oh my god. I'm going insane. I will just look at this doorknob and focus and get my brain back on track and everything will be okay." So I stared at the doorknob but I couldn't focus my eyes properly and I forgot what it is I was doing and I got really dizzy and had to go sit down.

I called my nurse and told her my problem with the suppository medicine and she said she would call my insurance company and try to get them to approve the other drug. The one for chemo patients.

Well I didn't hear back from her yesterday OR today... I guess I'll call the nurse again tomorrow and ask about it, since I need to refill my prescription one way or another.

I stopped the suppository medicine and took the regular (chemo) pill last night, with great results. And I happily took one at the appropriate time again this morning. With less fantastic results. I got dizzy. Blurry vision. Sleepy. I literally felt stupider. The side effects weren't as bad as they were for the butt pills... but I was REALLY disappointed. I work at a computer all day. It's hard enough to stare at a computer screen and read tedious, boring documents, but when you can't even focus your eyes or think intelligently about what you're reading, life gets pretty rough.

BABY, YOU ARE DESTROYING ME!!!