Since the new babies have arrived, Elise's routines have been shot to hell. Sleep patterns, feeding patterns, EC-- everything is out of whack. Husband and I are trying to get a good routine going, but it takes some effort. Kids love routines, right? But it still takes a 2 year old some getting used to if she's never had a solid routine before.
One of the things I've struggled with as a foster parent who has a biological child is wondering whether I'm being unfair to my own baby. In my heart I know that Elise is being very well taken care of. And I want her to grow up to be a loving and compassionate person. Someone who understands that love is the most important thing in the world. And someone who wants to help other living things grow and overcome adversity. I don't want to turn her off to these ideas because she felt forced into sharing her parents or felt neglected by us.
But seriously, lots of kids have siblings. Few people in the world get ALL of their parents' attention all of the time. This isn't so different from what it would be like if Elise had a brother and a sister, other than the fact that it was a sudden change, not a 9 month build-up.
Our family changes over time more than most families do. Hopefully eventually we'll be able to adopt and then there will be a bit more stability for Elise, for us, and for our adopted foster children.
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