I'm Over It

Okay. I've finally hit that brick wall known as "the last few weeks of pregnancy." I'm over it. Done. Get this kid out of me. I'm uncomfortable 100% of the time now. My body aches, I'm constantly having contractions, I'm getting queezy every time I eat, I'm overly emotional, and I'm sleep deprived. I want to drink a beer, exercise for longer than 2 minutes without feeling winded because a baby is pressing on my lungs, and bend freely at the waist.

I will gladly get up off my fat butt every two hours for the next month and feed a screaming, slobbering newborn in exchange for losing just 15 of these jiggly, thigh-rubbing pounds. I want to sleep on my stomach, comfortably clip my own toenails, and get up off the couch without rocking back and forth 3 or 4 times to build up momentum.

Please come out soon, Clark, or Mommy will go crazy.