I Wish I Could Hibernate

I feel like a big, fat bear that wants to hunker down for a loooooooooong winter's nap. My body is huge and all it wants to do is eat and rest until the baby gets here. I would literally lay on the couch all day if I could.

But I can't.

I'm busy from morning til night with Eliseypoo. There's no extra rest time when you have a 17 month old. I HAVE started taking regular afternoon naps, though, when Elise naps. Forget cleaning the house. I need to save up my energy for pushing out a baby soon.

Stuff and More Stuff

* Still having Braxton-Hicks contractions, though not as many as that one day. Just a few here and there.

* I never got that dark line down my belly during this pregnancy, the way I did with Elise. The linea nigra. That's weird, huh? Didn't have nearly as much morning sickness, either, so I guess my hormone levels are just different this time.

* Elise bit the holy hell out of my stomach yesterday. It looks like a blood blister where she bit me, with bright red blood pooled underneath the skin. It hurt SO BAD when she did it. So bad. I screamed. Then I cried. And she just went about her business, as if nothing had happened. Later on she saw the bruise and asked, "Meow?" I told her, "No, Elise. A cat didn't do that. YOU did that. You bit Mommy. I was sad." Now she points at it and says, "Elise?"

I'm Over It

Okay. I've finally hit that brick wall known as "the last few weeks of pregnancy." I'm over it. Done. Get this kid out of me. I'm uncomfortable 100% of the time now. My body aches, I'm constantly having contractions, I'm getting queezy every time I eat, I'm overly emotional, and I'm sleep deprived. I want to drink a beer, exercise for longer than 2 minutes without feeling winded because a baby is pressing on my lungs, and bend freely at the waist.

I will gladly get up off my fat butt every two hours for the next month and feed a screaming, slobbering newborn in exchange for losing just 15 of these jiggly, thigh-rubbing pounds. I want to sleep on my stomach, comfortably clip my own toenails, and get up off the couch without rocking back and forth 3 or 4 times to build up momentum.

Please come out soon, Clark, or Mommy will go crazy.

The Beginning of the End

I have been having Braxton-Hicks contractions all day long. Literally. All day long. In the 15 or so hours that I've been awake, I've had over 40 contractions. They're coming in waves. I wont have any for a while, then I'll get a bunch of them just a few minutes apart, and then they'll dissipate over time. I do the things they tell you to do in order to stop the false labor contractions-- walk around, drink water, pee-- and eventually they go away for a while.

I was having so many contractions this morning that I got really upset. It's too early for Clark to come. He's not ready yet. I'm only 35 weeks along. My contractions were getting closer together and I got scared. Fortunately, the contractions never developed a solid pattern. They were never consistently 5 minutes apart or anything like that. They might be 7 minutes apart, then 5 minutes, then 9 minutes, then 4 minutes. There was no consistency. So I ended up feeling confident that I wasn't actually in labor yet.

Yet.

My belly looks lower today, too. Husband noticed it as well. And I feel a lot more pressure on my pelvis. I've had to pee about 8 million times today. (That's only a SLIGHT exaggeration, I assure you.) Husband says that my body is starting to push that baby down and getting ready to push him out. I agree.

Get ready, baby Clark! Your birthday is coming up soon!

Me Time

Elise has started saying "me." Today she told me "me pee pee" and that she wanted "me car" (the toy car she had been playing with). She's also doing an awesome job of learning to recognize letters of the alphabet by sight. She gets some things confused, like she'll call an "F" an "E" or a "V" a "Y"... but I think those are reasonable mistakes.

This is how Elise sings the alphabet song: "A B C D D D E lumma numma peeee lumma numma pee coo coo T T T T." Lumma numma pee is LMNOP and coo is Q, by the way. A stranger heard her singing it at the library the other day and said, "Oh! She's singing her ABC's!" So if other people can recognize it, she must be doing okay.

Clark's Hospital Bag

Clark's stuff is all packed for the hospital! I packed him a going home outfit (hat, onesie, pants with feet), a sleeper, two receiving blankets, a warm blanket, two burp cloths, and a few diapers. The hospital here sends you home with some diapers and wipes, but I wanted to pack a few of my own just in case.

Now all of the kids are ready to rock. Husband and I just have to pack our stuff up. I'm 35 weeks along now. Better get on it!!!

Help! Help!

I took Elise to the library for a little while today and when it was time to leave Elise didn't want to go. She started fussing and crying and arching her back as I tried to get her strapped into her stroller. And then all of a sudden she starts yelling,

"HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!!"

In the middle of the library. As if I was kidnapping her or hurting her in some way. Good god. What am I in for next?

Foster Babies Update

Well. Henry and Georgia's mom, who has otherwise been doing a great job of completing the tasks on her case plan, has recently made some poor decisions. Don't bother asking, I won't tell you what they are specifically. I believe it is important to keep as much of Henry and Georgia's information as private as possible, even from people I know and love and trust. Not anything against my family and friends, it's just that I feel like a lot of what happens and what has happened in the past is for Henry and Georgia to tell people if they want to when they're older, not for me to tell.

Anyway, so what do these new revelations about the kids' mom mean to me as their foster mother? It means, realistically, that their mom will probably get an extension on her case plan. Rather than making a final decision any time soon about whether or not the kids go back home with her, the court will most likely give her more time to get her act together. The court will probably say, "Yes. You've messed up. Yes. You've had lots of time to get your life together. But, yes. You can have a little more time. Now don't mess up again. I really, really mean it this time."

Ugh.

Also, Henry's presumed father has apparently finally turned in his paperwork to get the DNA test processed. Yay! So we're waiting on the results from that. We'll see what happens...

Knock On Wood

No stretch marks yet. 34 1/2 weeks. Will I make it through two pregnancies with no stretch marks?! Did I just jinx myself? Keeping my fingers crossed.

Vampire Baby

Elise bit me so hard today that it left a pretty serious mark and a bruise. She's been out of control with the biting lately. I don't know what to do about it. She laughs if I yell at her. She doesn't care if I push her away and ignore her. She's in this awful phase right now. It's exhausting.

Sleeping Without Elise, Pregnancy Pain

It was sad last night not hearing Elise's little breaths as I tried to fall asleep. I missed her.

She was fine, though. Slept through the night. In fact, she slept in late today. About 45 minutes later than usual. And she woke up in a wonderful mood. Stood up and said, "Gigi?!?!" as she looked over at Georgia just waking up in her crib on the other side of the room. Happy baby.

I wish I could sleep through the night. I wake up two or three times every night to pee. Every couple of hours. And just getting in and out of bed is a gigantic pain in the everything. My lower back hurts, my hips hurt, my belly hurts. I'm definitely drawing closer and closer to that get-this-baby-out-of-me phase that happens at the end of pregnancy.

Today I had at least 10 instances of Clark lying on that nerve that makes excruciating pain shoot down my upper inner thigh. It was awful. Tears. It's like how I imagine getting a non-lethal dose of electricity must feel. Just all of a sudden ZAAAAAAAAP!!! down my leg and I can't walk until it goes away.

So I have emotional pains and physical pains right now. Changes. Babies coming and going. Lots of pregnancy hormones making everything seem more dramatic and sensational than it really is. These next few weeks (months, really) will be crazy. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Night Night

We've moved Elise into the same bedroom as Georgia. She will no longer be sleeping in our room.

I'm sad.

We were moving and rearranging furniture earlier and I started crying. I don't know why, exactly. I'm just so used to having Elise close to me. Elise saw me crying and got concerned. Husband said, "It's okay Elise. Mommy's fine. In fact, she'll probably cry at every milestone you pass in your life." Yes. I probably will.

After the furniture was moved and she saw her bed in the room with Georgia's bed, Elise asked, "Night night?" We explained that she'd be sleeping with Georgia from now on. "Gigi night night?" She seemed to understand.

At bedtime I nursed her in my bedroom like usual, because I wanted to keep as much of her nighttime routine the same as possible. When we were done, she slid off the bed and ran to the door of her new bedroom. She was ready. She was fine. No fussing. No confusion. It couldn't have gone smoother.

Except for my own crazy sadness.

Sometimes change is hard.

Thanks, Placenta!

With Elise, my placenta was really low and near my cervix and I had lots of bleeding during the pregnancy because of it. Then I got my umbilical hernia, and as Elise got bigger in my belly she started to hang her elbow out of it, as if she was some sort of New York cabbie hanging her elbow out of her car window. This could be very painful sometimes.

With Clark, my placenta is on the front of my uterus and it seems to be blocking my hernia. I haven't felt any baby parts pressing out of my belly hole. No pressure to make the hernia rip wider. I'm really thankful for that. I had some anxiety early on in the pregnancy about what would happen to my hernia once the baby got big. But somehow it just worked out perfectly for me.

Please, please, please let labor go as smoothly as everything else has during this pregnancy. 6 more weeks...

Baby Hiccups

Clark has been getting hiccups lately. Usually at night. I actually like the way baby-in-my-belly hiccups feel. It's a soft, rhythmic thumping, like a heartbeat. Really, that's exactly what it feels like-- as if all of a sudden I can feel my heart beating in my tummy.

Clark Belly; Baby Dream

My belly is starting to look like a sack stuffed full of a large, wiggling animal. Which is what it is, I guess. I can see Clark's movements across my belly all the time now. My belly gets deformed and lumpy when he kicks his feet or moves his knees or whatever's going on in there. 6 1/2 more weeks?!?!? I can't believe he still has to more growing to do.

I dreamed the night before last that my mucus plug was starting to come out. When that happens you can still be weeks away from labor, but if I recall correctly, with Elise my labor started within a few days. So in the dream, I knew that Clark would be arriving soon. I was relieved and scared at the same time. Probably how I'll feel in real life.

Thank YOU

Elise started saying "thank you" today at appropriate times, like when I hand her a sippy cup. (More like "tank ooo" but I know what she means.) Don't know why. I didn't work on that one with her. She just has good manners, I guess. She's real big on "please," too.

Something tells me this will not be a long term occurrence. But it's nice for now, while she's 17 months old.

Elise the Scratching Post and Other Notes

* Elise got scratched by two of our cats today. Two separate incidents. She pretty much deserved the first one. Our big fluffy boy cat, Vincent, really does tolerate her much much much better than one would have guessed given his normal disposition. He puts up with a lot of crap from Elise. But today she smooshed him to the ground and then tried to roll him over by grabbing fistfuls of fluff and pulling. He flailed around on his back, claws out, and scratched her face.

Later on, she was kind of harassing our I-don't-take-shit-from-anyone girl cat, Toesie. So Toesie swatted Elise's hand and scratched it. Honestly, Toesie could have done much worse-- Elise's face was probably an easier target-- so we all just called it even and left it at that.

* Elise learns new words practically every day. I can't keep up with her vocabulary anymore. Some of her favorite things to say as of late include: "star" when she sees star shaped things, asking for help by saying "help," if something gets in her eye she rubs it and says "got boogie" (eye boogies, I guess?), and she talks about owls all of the time because they're her favorite animal right now. Elise loooooves to point out what color things are; she can identify red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, brown, and black. She also likes telling me if people are boys or girls. She knows the gender of everyone in our family. Sometimes she gets it wrong with strangers, which is going to end up being embarrassing sooner or later, I just know it.

* After 4 weeks of swim lessons and despite the massive amount of zinc sunscreen I slathered all over her entire body every single day, Elise's skin is now darker than mine has probably ever been. I thought she had my complexion, but I guess I was wrong.

* Every day in swim lessons, the instructor and I tried to get Elise to blow bubbles in the water. Elise would laugh and drink the water. She did not seem to understand what we wanted AT ALL. None of the babies in the class really understood, in all fairness, and the instructor said that usually only one kid in each class ever figures out how to blow bubbles. It's a kind of advanced concept at that age, I guess.

Well, last night in the bath tub Elise puts her mouth in the water and blows an endless stream of bubbles. Then does it again. And again. Yay, Elise, for figuring it out! I just wish the instructor could have seen her doing it. I also wish she'd have done it in sort of clean chlorinated water, instead of dirty butt water from the bath tub. Oh well.

Tired, Blankets

I'm so tired today. I've been really tired lately in general. Is Clark growing? My body is just so awkward now that everything feels like a tremendous effort. I feel like a sloth-- slow and clumsy.

I think I finished washing all of Clark's blankets. I washed all of our receiving blankets and the few others that we have for him. I had Husband pick out some blankets to take with us to the hospital for the day that we get to bring Clark home. We're ready to swaddle you, little babu!

The Initial Proof

Just found this picture of my first positive pregnancy test with Clark, taken 1-28-11. Why do I document this stuff? I guess it's just really exciting to me.

See how faint the line is in that first window? My first test with Elise was like that, too. I was really early in the pregnancy. If anything shows up at all, it means you're gonna be a momma because a lady's body doesn't make pregnancy hormones unless you're pregnant. So even though that little blue line was super-faint, I knew right away that I was having another baby.

Know what's funny? Look at the color of the lines on Clark's pregnancy test. Now click here and look at the lines on Elise's first pregnancy test. Blue for Clark and pink for Elise. Isn't that silly? Just a coincidence-- different brands of tests--- but I think it's kind of funny.

New Pregnancy Symptom

i have a new pregnancy symptom that i never got with elise. this is all you, clark!

all of a sudden, out of nowhere (though usually while i'm standing or walking) i get a sharp and very painful feeling in my upper, inner thigh. nerve pain. i have to sit down as quickly as possible when it happens. it's not the kind of pain you can work through. it's intense.

i read online where other pregnant women described and discussed similar problems. people were suggesting that it has to do with the position of the baby's head, maybe pressing on some nerve somewhere. makes sense to me. if that's what it is, i'm thankful that clark never wants to rest his head on my crotch nerve for too long, because the pain usually goes away within 5 minutes or so. it just reeeeeeeally sucks while it's happening.

i get lots of nerve pains with my pregnancies-- sciatica, sex butt, now this. babies, i love you, but you get on my nerves.

Booboo Teeth

Elise was Grumpy McGrumpersons today. Temper tantrums for no reason. Or so I thought.

After a temper tantrum over the fact that I tied a bandana around her head after she asked me to but then apparently immediately decided that she in fact did NOT want me tie it around her head, she shoved her finger in her mouth and yelled, "Teeeeeeeeth!"

"Yes. You have teeth."

Then Elise pointed to the back of her mouth. "Booboo!"

Sure enough, she has her third molar coming in, right where she pointed. Poor baby. It's so nice that she's starting to be able to communicate what she needs and what's bothering her. Makes my life sooooooo much easier. Her's too, I would imagine.

Pool All Gone

Elise had her last swim lesson today. I tried to prep her for the inevitable end by talking about how it was her last lesson, how we'd say "bye bye, pool," and so on. At the end of class today, Elise was beside herself. Very upset. Threw a fit. Maybe she understood.

On the car ride home, she kept mentioning the pool. She never does that. It was clearly on her mind.

At one point, she was looking out the window. "All gone."

"What's all gone, Elise?" I asked.

Long pause. Still staring out the window.

"Pool."

So sad.

What Lies Beyond the Belly

Today I stubbed my toe. My toenail cracked from side to side and also from top to bottom. Blood ran out from under my toenail. And you know what? My belly is too big for me to be able to comfortably bend over and closely examine the damage. So I basically said f--- it, it'll heal on it's own.

Check back in a month to see if I end up needing to get it amputated because I developed some gross infection.

Lots of Contractions

lots of contractions today. they're getting stronger, too. whew! they wear me out! imagine a giant muscle in some part of your body (minds out of the gutter, people) exercising all day long. i guess my body is getting ready for delivery day...

Kids Hospital Bag

Husband and I have been working on packing a bag for Elise, Henry, and Georgia in case they need to come to the hospital with us when I go into labor with Clark.

In an ideal world, I will gradually begin having contractions and I'll know "This is it!" I'll have time to call family to come into town and they'll arrive, ready to watch some toddlers, before I have to leave for the hospital. But I know from experience that labor is not always like that. My water broke with Elise and so we had to go to the hospital straight away. If that happens again, we're taking the kiddos with us until family can arrive. Which means we need to have a bag ready just for them, knowing that they could be stuck at the hospital with us for hours and hours.

The bag is mostly packed. Here's what we're bringing:

1. A few DVDs. There's a DVD player in all of the birthing rooms, so we're bringing some Sesame Street and a couple of other kiddie shows and movies along with us. I don't know if TV will hold their attention at all, but it's worth a shot.

2. Enough diapers for each child for 24 hours, and a pack of wipes.

3. A snack.

4. Sippy cups. I don't want to deal with kids spilling crap everywhere while I'm in labor.

5. Pajamas for each child.

6. A change of clothes for each child.

7. A few toys.

All of that will fit into one tote bag. We're also going to fold up and bring Elise's pack&play. I figure that the girls can both sit and play in it (to help keep them contained) or sleep in it, and Henry can sleep on the foldout couch that comes in each birthing room.

I really hope that we don't have to bring the kids to the hospital, but it does feel good to know that we have a plan, just in case.

Floater

Elise floated all by herself at her last swim lesson!!! I'm so proud of her. The instructor calls Elise a little fish. She is. Three weeks of lessons and she's floating. Amazing!

Baby Butterfly

elise said the cutest thing today.

she calls most any insect she sees a "buggah buggah." she knows a few kinds of bugs-- spider, ant, bee-- but pretty much anything else she encounters is a buggah buggah. well, lately she's become fascinated with butterflies. she's been calling them "flies." good. close. today, though, as we were loading the kids into the car, elise saw georgia's butterfly story book next to her seat and asked to see it by saying, "buggahfly?"

buggahfly! elise! you're killing me!

Charlie Horse #1

got my first charlie horse of this pregnancy last night. i woke up yelling "ooooowwwww! it hurts!" which, of course, woke up husband. he's grabbing at me, saying "what can i do? what can i do?" and i'm batting his hands away, trying to bend my toes backward to stretch my calf muscle out, and all i can think is "this is what my uterus is going to feel like in a few weeks when i go into labor." oh dear. here we go again.

Gearing Up

OBGYN appointment today-- everything's good. Clark is in the head-down position. I'm 32 weeks along now. It's nearly go time.

I've washed the cover to Elise's old infant carrier car seat. What is now Clark's car seat. That's one good thing about having kids close together-- you have all of the baby gear you need. I'm so glad we don't have to go buy that stuff all over again. It's novel to pick those things out the first time but if I had to go shopping for for strollers and car seats and crib sheets and all of that right now, it would feel like a hassle. The first time I was pregnant was exciting because everything was new. This time is good because I get to relax and enjoy the pregnancy in and of itself.

This weekend we'll install the bases to the car seats, one in my car and one on the van. That's the most important thing, having the car seat ready to go. Then next week I'll probably start washing baby clothes, packing bags, organizing closets... generally trying to keep myself busy and keep from thinking about going through labor all over again.

Names

Elise can say everyone's name in our house now! She's been doing this for a couple of days. She says Mama and Dada, of course. She calls Henry something very close to what his real name is... I guess "Henna" would be the equivalent for bloggy purposes. And she calls Georgia by a nickname, what would equate to "Gigi." She calls Clark "Car" and usually points at my belly when she says his name.

Elise can also say her own name ("Eee-leee"). She recognizes herself in the mirror and in pictures and can point to herself when you ask her where Elise is.

Elise has been asking "Dada?" during the day for weeks now. I tell her "Daddy's at work" and she seems satisfied with that. Now she asks about everyone, which I think is really cool because it shows that she thinks about Henry and Georgia even when they aren't here with us.

Today after her nap, Elise asked if everyone else had gone night-night, too. "Gigi night-night?" "Henna night-night?" "Car night-night?" She didn't ask about Husband or me. I guess she realizes that the adults don't have time to take naps.

So cute, Elise!

Geee-aahhhh, geeee-ohhh!

When Elise is happy (you give her a food she likes, she sees something that looks cool to her, whatever) she says: geeeee-AAHHH, geeeee-OHHHH! She's been doing this for a few months. It's one of her own made-up words, like how "by-ah?" means "what is that?"

I love it.

Japanese Saying

Today while I was at the bookstore with Elise, I ended up chatting with a couple who is from Japan. They were there with their baby son and we were all in the kiddie section together. The mother, noticing my (huge) belly asked me if I knew what gender the next baby would be. I told her I'm having a boy.

"Oh, you're very lucky to have a girl first and then a boy!" the husband said.

"I think so too. I like it that way."

"There's a saying in Japan that it is lucky to have a girl first and then have a boy," the wife went on. "One of each with a girl first."

"Because it's good to have a older sister for the boy to look up to?" I asked.

"Not just that," she said, "but girls are stronger. Physically stronger. From birth. They have to be because they end up carrying the babies later. Their bodies are strong. They are easier to raise and they don't get sick as often as boys. It is much easier for the mother to have a girl first."

Interesting, Japan.

Toddler Waldorf Salad

I had a bunch of apples recently and I wanted to use some of them up before they went bad. Didn't want to make applesauce. I wanted to try something new. Somehow I settled on Waldorf salad, which I've never made before, but only requires chopping and mixing so I felt confident that I could do it successfully.

The original recipe calls for mayonnaise and celery and stuff that I wasn't sure the kiddos would like, so I decided to modify it. Actually, yogurt is a common substitution for the mayonnaise, and that got me thinking about other substitutions I could make. Here is my new recipe for Toddler Waldorf Salad:

Whisk together 6 tablespoons vanilla yogurt (I used Yo Baby brand) and 2 tablespoons lemon juice. Then add 2 chopped granny smith apples, 1 chopped pear (instead of celery), a couple of handfuls of quartered red grapes (Waldorf salad usually has raisins, but you can use grapes, too), and some crushed walnuts. I bought a bag of chopped walnuts and then crushed them smaller myself. Stir it all up, chill it in the fridge for a bit, and that's that.

Elise loved it. Kept asking for more and more. Henry wasn't too fond of the lemon flavor, so he didn't eat much. And Georgia will eat anything. But I enjoyed the flavor-- I would make it for myself. It's really just a stirred up fruit and yogurt parfait, I guess.

Yum.

Henry Update

Here's what's going on with Henry lately:

* When Henry went for a checkup recently, his primary care doctor said that his ears looked perfectly okay. No infection, no fluid behind the ear drums. Soooooo... Henry will not be referred to a new ear, nose, and throat specialist at this time. No ear tubes for now. Primary Care Doc said that we'll just wait and see if Henry gets recurring infections again during the next cold season, and if he does, THEN he'll make a referral to a specialist. There's no point in sending him to a new specialist right now because the specialist will look in his ears and won't see anything wrong. Henry might have even outgrown his ear problem and he may not need tubes at all. Only time will tell.

* Still waiting on the evaluation for autism. I spoke to someone about it recently and she said that based on a checklist that Husband and I filled out, Henry definitely has some "red flags" but he also has a lot of areas in his development that look normal. The fact that his potential autism symptoms have been slowly getting better (less autism-y) also complicates their ability to diagnose him. So the place that will be evaluating him is trying to get in touch with his school and talk to his teachers about their daily observations of Henry's behavior. I'm just waiting to hear back about whether they want to do more evaluations with him or not.

* Potential Father still hasn't provided the necessary paperwork for the DNA test to be processed. Still don't know for sure who Henry's dad is.

It seems like everything that needs to be done for Henry happens at a snail's pace. The ear tubes waited for so long that he doesn't need them anymore. The autism evaluation is taking forever. The DNA test still hasn't been run. His mom is doing pretty well working through her case plan, but she isn't doing everything perfectly-- it's too difficult to tell at this point if she'll be successful in completing all of her tasks and able to regain custody of Henry. There are all of these unanswered questions. I'm just glad he's too young to know what's going on-- imagine trying to explain this mess to a 10 year old.