I used to work with this lady about two years ago that told me one day, "All babies are NOT cute." When she had her first son, they handed him to her right after delivery and she thought, "This baby can't be mine. He's too ugly!"
My coworker was shocked by how ugly she thought her own baby was. She said that he "grew into his looks" and that now she thinks he's handsome (he's an adult by the time she's telling me this), but at first she was depressed by how unattractive her baby was.
I appreciated her honesty. Motherhood is often sentimentalized and the feelings that some mothers have for their babies aren't always beautiful, blissful feelings of pride and joy. I don't think that my coworker was a bad mother for not instantly feeling like her son was the most beautiful thing on the planet. Or for saying it aloud.
I was really scared that I'd have an ugly baby. Now that Elise is here, that fear seems silly. I honestly think she is the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen. Ever. But when she was still in my belly and I didn't know how she looked, I'd worry and think things like, "If she's ugly, will I have trouble bonding with her? Will I grow to love her looks or just accept them? Will everyone lie to me and tell me that she's cute or will they just not say anything at all?..."
To make matters worse, all babies come out looking a little weird. They're all puffy and swollen when they're born and it takes a few hours to a few days before the swelling goes down. So you don't even REALLY know what your baby looks like at first, anyway.
I thought Elise looked cute in every stage-- from her swollen post-delivery body, to her skinny newborn physique, to her current chubby-cheeked self. I got pretty lucky.
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