Baby Hippo

I asked Elise what we should name the new baby and she said, "Hippo!"

Husband vetoed Elise's suggestion.

Names!

The Social Security Administration came out today with the list of top 1000 baby names for 2010. Very exciting for me. Like Christmas in May. I love it. I love names.

Of course, it's really more like the top 500-or-so unique and separate names, as people are either ignorant of the proper spelling of their child's name or are choosing deliberately not to spell the name correctly. So a name such as David might be on the list also as Dayvid, Daveid, and D'vid. And how enough people all across the country came up with the same misspelling in the same year for the same baby name to make the list is sometimes beyond me. Because it's not like EVERY baby name is listed. I mean, how many people have to name their daughter Maddysen (or whatever) before it makes the list?

Anyhow, Elise is up several spots from its 2009 position. Don't know how I feel about that.

And of course I checked on the names we're considering for Dinky. The boy name is solidly in the top 100. The girl name, however, isn't in the top 1000 at all.

Cinco de Mommy-o

When I was in college, Cinco de Mayo was an excuse to have a party. Then, when I got sick of the hassle of post-party clean-up, it became an excuse to eat dinner at a Mexican restaurant and drink margaritas. Then, gradually, that turned into an excuse to pig out on beer and chips and salsa all night at home with my significant other.

Tonight, Cinco de Mayo is an excuse to make some Mexican dinner for a family of five. And sing "La Cucaracha" with the kids.

Where does the time go?

I Can't Blame This On Pregnant Brain

Today my phone dinged and I read the new email-- a reminder from my Google calendar that my wedding anniversary is coming up soon.

"Holy crap, Husband! Our anniversary is in a few days!"

We both laughed and laughed. We laughed because we'd both forgotten and because there's not much you can do to celebrate anyway when you have three little bitties.

Happy Whatever!!!

Baby Round Up

What's going on with the kiddos? Here are some notes:

* Still no DNA tests being taken to establish Henry's paternity. At first I was kind of annoyed about this-- why wouldn't someone step forward and be a dad to their child? At least figure out if they ARE the dad? But now I've realized that if Presumed Father isn't going to be a man about this, then he sure doesn't deserve the legal rights of fatherhood-- visits and possible custody and that sort of thing. So take your time Presumed Father! The longer you drag this out, the less time I have to spend dealing with you. Henry deserves better than to be treated this way.

* Therapy is going well for Georgia and Henry. They're both making progress. Very happy about that. Very happy.

* Georgia is teething again. She is MISERABLE when she has teeth coming in. Poor baby. She has 7 teeth now, which is one more than Elise, even though Elise is older. Just goes to show that every baby is different.

* Elise is still trying to say new words every day. Today it was hippo ("hippa"). She also learned the sound an elephant makes, even imitating my arm-as-an-elephant's-trunk motion. She really likes to say "apple" and she says it all day long, even if there are no apples around and we aren't talking about apples. Either that or she's calling me an asshole. Which is possible, I guess, but probably not very likely. I'm just not even going to worry about that until we hit the teenage years.

* Dinky continues to be the world's best tenant. I've had less morning sickness, fewer headaches, less sweatiness, less constipation, less fatigue, and fewer aches and pains this pregnancy than I could have imagined possible after the torture that Elise put me through. At this rate, you might even get your security deposit back, kid.

Spider

Elise's word for the day? Spider.

We were reading "The Very Busy Spider" by Eric Carle this morning and Elise got interested in the word "spider" and started repeating it. Spy-duh. She's doing that more and more. Hearing words and just trying to repeat them.

Soooooo... I guess it's really time to clean up my language.

Hot Flash

When I was pregnant with Elise, I was sweaty all the time. Especially at night. I haven't had as much of a problem with that this time around. Dinky has been kind to me in so many ways, and not totally f-ing up my internal thermostat has been one of them.

Today, though, while I was making lunch I had a major hot flash. Husband already had the kids sitting down at the table and I was getting their plates ready when all of a sudden my body just got really hot. I felt dizzy, sweaty, sick to my stomach. Oh man. I had to sit down. And Husband said he could feel the heat radiating off of me when he helped me into my seat.

The hot flash went away after I had a glass of cold water and relaxed for a second. It was weird, though. I don't know what happened. And I hope it doesn't happen again.

Two Steps Forward, Lots of Steps Back

Elise started doing some cool new things yesterday. She repeated "night night" at bedtime. Or "nigh nigh" at least. Close enough. She did it tonight, too. She also started saying "apple"-- that one she says VERY clearly. She likes those two syllable words with p's in them, like apple and purple.

She also started to walk backwards. Just for fun. It was cute. She'd walk backwards until she ran into something.

Big day!

Sick Henry

Henry's home sick today. He caught Elise's Easter fever. Henry woke up a zillion times last night and his temperature was up over 102 degrees.

Of course, this morning he's fine, though. No fever. No sickness. How do kids DO that? Keep you up aaaaaaaaaalllllll night, then they're perfectly healthy the next day, but YOU feel like crap?!

Baby Eve

Case Manager has shown us a few pictures of baby Eve. Cute!

Eve's foster parents want to set up some visits with us and the kids on the weekends-- I'm so excited to get to see the new baby! I didn't think we'd get to see her anytime soon. I figured all of the visits with siblings would be done at the same time that the kids see their mother.

Since all of the kids don't live together in the same house, Case Manager wants to make sure that the kids have visits with each other. Sibling visits are usually done at the same time that kids see their parents-- like one big family visit. The visits with Henry and Georgia's mother are handled by Case Manager and Husband and I aren't involved at all. Case Manager picks Henry and Georgia up from day care during the week, takes them to see their mom at a special visitation center, and then brings them back to school. If all of the sibling visits were done at that same time, Husband and I would never get to see Eve.

Eve's foster parents suggested to Case Manager that we do some weekend sibling visits without their mom, though. Yay!

Poke

Dinky kicks me a lot now. Husband is dying to feel the kicks, but I don't think they can be felt from the outside yet. Plus the kicks are so fleeting. I did get a bunch of kicks in a row after a cup of rainbow sherbet the other night-- rainbow sherbet makes Dinky dance.

I can't wait for ELISE to feels the kicks! I wonder what she'll think.

Babies Babies Everywhere

Henry and Georgia's mom had a baby recently. It was removed from her at the hospital and placed into foster care, as the problem that lead to the removal of Henry, Georgia, and Susannah hasn't been resolved as of yet. We were asked to take the baby and we agreed, but then the foster care licensing agency said that we will have too many children under 2 years old, so we can't take her. The new baby-- I'll call her Eve-- is in another foster care home now.

Henry and Georgia will get to visit with little Eve soon. She was born prematurely, but she is apparently doing well.

Sad.

Easter Fever

Yesterday Henry and Georgia were visiting with a relative all day, so we took Elise to an Easter event at a local park. She had a great time, but after we got home Elise started to get a fever.

The fever responded well to medicine, but in the middle of the night when it had worn off we took her temperature again and it was up to 102.1. Poor baby!

When the medicine is working, Elise seems mostly okay. A little less energy than usual, but not unhappy. As it wears off, though, Elisey is miserable. She's been sleeping A LOT today, too. And nursing like crazy.

I hope she's feeling better tomorrow.

Puppy Dog Tails

A mentally challenged lady recently approached me in Walmart and told me I was having a boy. So there you go. Time to pick out some boy names, I guess.

(Had Elise been a boy we would have named her Elijah. But Elise and Elijah sounds really matchy-matchy so we probably won't be going with Elijah this time around.)

Easter Eve

Dyed some eggs. Made a little Easter sign. The sign is a cartoon bat and it says "Happy Easter 2011!!! (Heart), The Easter Fruit Bat"

That's right. No Easter Bunny. The Easter Fruit Bat is bringing the kids something that fruit bats actually eat-- fruit. Bunnies don't eat chocolate or jelly beans or that stupid plastic grass that gets everywhere. Everything about Easter was always so random to me that I had a really hard time buying it as a child. A bunny brings me colored chicken eggs and candy? Whatever. Leave out a glass of milk and plate cookies for a fat guy in exchange for some presents? Okay, that I get. But Easter is full of one wacky lie after another.

So Husband and I decided that we didn't want to give babies a bunch of candy, but we wanted to have fun with the holiday. The kids all love fruit, so they will have an awesome breakfast of hard boiled eggs, fruit, cool whip, and pancakes. And the Easter Bunny has one less house to visit, thanks to the Easter Fruit Bat. Hey, bats are up all night anyhow. It makes perfect sense!

Nice Husband

This morning as I was getting out of bed (looking a mess, mind you) Husband says, "You look nice."

"Awww. You'd say that to anyone who was carrying your child."

Pause.

"Well, I'd at least say, 'You must have looked nice once.'"

At least he's got standards.

Baby Lady Parts

I thought recently that Elise had a bad case of diaper rash.

A few weeks ago, she woke up one morning with a poopy diaper. She doesn't usually have a bowel movement in the middle of the night, so there's really no telling when it happened or for how long her diaper was dirty. I changed her and noticed that around her little girl parts, there was some redness and tiny little bumps. I put Desitin on her.

For the next two weeks, I kept her super, super clean and made sure she always had diaper rash cream on. The rash would get better sometimes, but never completely go away and it would always flare back up again.

Finally I called the doctor.

Turns out that those little bumps mean that she has a yeast infection of her skin. Not like a lady yeast infection. Just on the skin. Which is apparently not uncommon in diapered babies. You use Lotrimin to treat it, just like jock itch or ring worm.

Elise has had very few diaper rashes, and they were always gone within a diaper change or two, so I didn't really know that there was a difference between what I was seeing and a regular diaper rash. Poor Elisey.

I'm supposed to put the Lotrimin on her for 7 to 10 days, twice a day, and that should clear it up. I've applied it about 3 times now, and her rash is already looking better.

One Up

I forgot to mention that when I got weighed at my last OBGYN check up, I had gained one more pound. Four pounds total. You'd think I'd have gained a lot more if you look at how big my belly's getting. I'm in that is-it-a-beer-gut-or-a-baby phase right now where the unknowing observer might not be sure that I'm actually pregnant.

Let's just say we're calling him Bud if it's a boy.

(Just kidding.)

Toe Jam

Tonight Husband and I were out with the kids. We were driving in the minivan, kids in the back.

And then I hear Elise laughing. Hysterically.

I turn around. Her sock is off. And Henry is licking her toes.

Like, holding her foot to his mouth and licking her toes.

It was pretty funny. And so cute and innocent when babies do it. He was just making her laugh. In the weirdest way possible.

Baby's First Shower

This morning Elise had to go potty while Husband was in the shower. As she sat on her potty chair she got all interested in what Daddy was doing, since she's only ever taken baths. She wanted in the shower with him. So we let her.

It was adorable-- seeing my loves naked and having giggly fun together. Precious.

Another Belly Band

It's that time again. I can't button or even zip my non-maternity pants anymore. So I went out and got another one of those elasticy bands that go over your opened pants.

I bought a different brand this time. My last one disintigrated in the wash. This time I got a model made by the Bella Band brand. I like it so far. It's tighter than the last one I got. Since I'm kind of small, even maternity pants with their stretchy waist don't fit super tight. It's annoying to be pregnant AND have your pants sliding down all day long. So the tight Bella Band is nice.

We'll see how it does in the wash.

Knock, knock... Who's There?

Dinky! I've felt Dinky kick a few times now. I first felt kicks this past Tuesday, but I wasn't sure.

Baby kicks can feel an awful lot like gas at first. It's true.

I've heard the feeling described lots of different ways-- flutters, a fish flopping inside your belly, popcorn popping. To me, it feels like if some flicked your arm, but inside your guts. Anyway, it's not an entirely distinctive feeling when the baby is still tiny. It's not like the kid has a secret knock. It happens quickly, you know?

I first felt Elise kick around 14.5 weeks, and I'm probably about 15 weeks along now, so that makes perfect sense.

I love you, Dinky!

I Can Hear You!

Went for a check up today. We heard Dinky's heart beat! Oh, little Dinkleton! Mommy, and Daddy, and sissy Elise all heard your teeny little heart pounding away.

Happy happy happy!!!

Can't Hold It

Pregnant ladies pee more often.

However many times I get woken up during the night, that's how many times I have to go pee. If Elise wakes up once, I go to the bathroom once. If Elise wakes up and then I hear Henry stirring in his room and that wakes me, I go to the bathroom twice.

I wonder, if all of the babies slept through the night would I sleep through the night, too? Or would I get up at some point to pee anyhow? The world will never know.

Boy Dream

I had a dream the other night that my sister had another baby. A girl. And I said, "Now we both have one of each!" Meaning one boy and one girl. And then I realized that must mean that Dinky is a boy.

Then I had a dream last night where I was seducing an 18 year old. He was very angelic looking. I didn't feel weird about it until I remembered that I'm pregnant.

No No Shake

Elise has started shaking her head no. She won't want to eat anymore and she'll shake her head no at the spoon moving toward her mouth. If I try to feed her more anyway, she spits it all over me. I listen to her now when she says no.

Tonight she told me she had to go potty and then saw a toy she wanted to play with. As I grabbed her hand to take her to the bathroom she dragged her feet and shook her head no.

If I shake my head yes at her Elise will shake her head no back at me. She laughs at that, like she knows she's contradicting me.

My snooty little baby just got snootier.

Car, Colors, Barf

Car update: repairs made for $625. Thank GOD we got a second opinion. So suck on that, stupid dealership.

Elise update: my baby is a smartypants. Elise has a book that features a different color every two pages. So there will be two facing pages of all red objects or all green objects or whatever. Elise is mildly obsessed with this book, so we've been working on colors.

Now, granted she doesn't know her colors outside of the context of this book yet. BUT, she DOES know the yellow and purple pages of her color book very well. I'll turn each page and ask her, "What color is this?" If she doesn't know she just stays quiet and I'll say, "Red," and she'll try to repeat the sound.

When I get to yellow, though, she's quick to say, "Yeyo!" She says "yeyo"... have you ever seen the movie "Scarface"? That's the slang word they use for cocaine. Yeyo. Anyhow, when I get to the purple page, she knows that one, too. And she says "purple" nearly perfectly. Well, it's sort of like "purpa" but there's no mistake about what she's saying.

If you ask her what color anything is outside of that book-- like, "what color is this flower?"-- she'll say its yellow. I guess its good that she understands that "color" and "yellow" have something to do with each other.

Pregnancy update: tossed up some pancakes today. I coughed so hard that I puked a little. I think that if I hadn't been pregnant-queezy, I wouldn't have puked. And if I hadn't coughed, my morning sickness wouldn't have caused me to barf. It was just the perfect storm.

Oh, and buttermilk pancakes with blueberry syrup are my latest pregnancy craving. Soooooo delicious.

Second Time Around

Feeling my pregnant belly grow for a second time is like putting on a pair of old, worn out jeans. They aren't that attractive, but they're familiar and comfortable and hold a bit of unexpected nostalgia when you look at them.

The way my body is growing and changing so far is very similar to when I was pregnant with Elise. The changes started happening a little bit sooner, as all the books say they will when your body has already been occupied once before. And my umbilical hernia didn't have to slowly happen, as it already existed. But so far, no surprises.

I love seeing my belly getting rounder. I can't wait to feel the baby move. Those little flutters in the beginning are the best. I hope they happen soon.

My Girl Wants to Potty All the Time

Elise is still telling us that she needs to go potty. It's not a fluke! She doesn't tell us every time. Turns out little babies pee A LOT. Like, nearly constantly it seems. But every time she tells me she needs to go, she does pee.

Annoyingly, she always seems to have to pee about 3 bites into any given meal. Strap her into her high chair, feed her a few bites, then here comes her potty sign. I've learned not to get too comfortable when we sit down for food.

She's been trying to say "potty" but it sounds sort of like "pita." Good thing for baby sign language! Otherwise, she'd be eating a lot of Greek food right about now.

Me Plus Three

All of a sudden 2 weeks ago I gained 3 pounds. My weight has held steady since then. Just-- BOOM!-- 3 pounds. And that's it.

I read that you're supposed to gain about 5 pounds during the first trimester and that it will probably happen toward the end of the 3rd month, as your body increases its volume of blood. So maybe I only gained 3 pounds of blood and fluid instead of 5. I'm pretty short. Maybe I need less blood.

Potty Break Through!

Elise told Husband and me on at least 4 separate occasions today that she needed to go potty. And she did. She peed. She gave her little "potty" sign, we took her to her potty chair, and she'd go.

Thank you E.C.! Thank you baby sign language! This is awesome.

Did I Walk Under A Ladder or Something?

Today is poop.

Found out that repairs on my car (not the minivan) might cost up to $1800. Husband and I need to decide what to do about this. We're definitely getting a second opinion. We need need need two vehicles. These babies keep me running all over town and sometimes Husband has errands to run, too. We can't get by on just the minivan for long.

Also found out that Georgia could possibly be leaving us as soon as two weeks from now. There's a court date set for a determination to be made regarding whether a relative is suitable to take her. Case Manager (who ever so casually dropped this bomb on us tonight) said that she is fighting tooth and nail to keep this relative from taking her. There is a really good reason why Relative should not have custody of her. HOWEVER, the whole situation is nuanced and convoluted and depending on how the statutes read and how the court interprets them, the judge may feel that he/she is unable to deny Relative custody of Georgia.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I found out the other day that the DNA results for Henry and his presumed father were lost by the lab. Aside from the obvious inconvenience that creates, now Henry's presumed father is refusing to submit to the DNA test again. I don't know what's going through that man's head, but basically what this means for our family is that we have to wait that much longer before we know if Henry will be staying with us long-term or if he'll be moving to live with an approved paternal relative.

It's always something. And sometimes it's a lot of somethings all at once.

Elise Did Some Cool Stuff Today

Elise is already pitting Husband and me against each other. Or trying to, anyway.

Husband gives Elise anything she asks for. Lately, he's been handing her the cordless house phone to play with. He unplugs the base of the phone and lets her play with the receiver. I don't do that. I encourage her to play with her own toys, or sometimes I just lock the keypad on my cell phone and let her play with that.

This morning Elise kept pointing at the home phone, making her little made up sign for "telephone," and saying, "Hi! Hi! Hi!" to let me know that she wanted the phone. I was pretty much ignoring her. Then she stops. Locks eyes with me. Points at the phone. Locks eyes with me. And says, "Dada." As in, "Daddy lets me play with the phone. Maybe he's my favorite now. You'd better watch it, lady."

Ugh.

Well, Daddy's not here. So no.

After that, Elise did something equally as threatening to my mommy status, but in an entirely different way.

I've been giving her a sippy cup of cow's milk with her meals lately. She'll drink it, and it usually delays her desire to breastfeed a little bit. This morning she asked to breastfeed right after breakfast, despite drinking from her sippy cup. Okay. Minor step backward. No big deal.

She nursed for a little while, but then she cut the breastfeeding short, sat up, and said, "Mill? Mill?" "I'm giving you milk, silly," I said to her. But she turned and pointed to her sippy cup on the table. "Mill? Mill?" So I gave her the sippy cup and she drank that instead.

I was happy and sad. I was so proud of her for realizing that the sippy cup had milk, too, even though it was a different kind of milk. And I was sort of glad that she wanted the cow's milk, because that means that weening is going well. But... but... what about MOMMY? What about OUR special time together?

Yay. My baby is growing up. *Tears!*

Super Soaker

Georgia eats clothes.

If she's wearing a shirt or jacket or jammies with a zipper, button, snap, or collar that she can put in her mouth, her whole front will be soaked within minutes. It's crazy.

This is especially problematic at night because she chew-sucks the crap out of her pajamas. Sometimes in the morning her night clothes are soaked-- LITERALLY-- down to the knees. It must make her cold. How can she stand the way that must feel? Ugh! Just thinking about it grosses me out.

This is bigger than teething. I think it's developing into an oral fixation. Georgia is destined to become one of those chronic gum chewers. Or someone who chews her straw. Or a nail biter. An obsessive chapstick re-applier. Maybe all of the above.

We tell her, "No, no! We don't chew our clothes!" and pull the fabric out of her mouth. Oh, she cries and cries. It's like we've hurt her feelings. Giving her something else to chew hardly ever works. Even other pieces of fabric.

I hope she outgrows this soon. I'm tired of sticking my hand in wetness every time I go to pick her up.

Take It All Off

I got a hair cut yesterday. This is how it played out:

Hairdresser: So! What are we doing with your hair today?

Me: I want you to cut it all off.

(Everyone else in the room stops and looks over at me. My hair was pretty long-ish and very thick.)

H: (nervous laughter, then she grabs my hair at about shoulder-length) So maybe up to here?

M: Nope. All off. Like... I don't know what you call it... a pixie cut?

H: Really?

M: I've got three kids and I'm pregnant. I don't have time for hair. Honestly, there's only a 50% chance that I even brushed my hair this morning. I seriously don't remember. So I want my hair as short as possible.

H: (more nervous laughter) Okay, then! (Messes with my hair for a second.) So where do you think you'll put your part? Right or left side?

M: No, really. I need to be able to roll out of bed, put on some pants, and go. There will be no part.

She cut my hair once, then had to cut it shorter right away again because it was still too long.

H: So when your hair goes from long to short, it can kind of go into shock and it gets poofier than it normally will be. Your hair might be poofy for a week or two. But you can fix that with product-- like, some heavy hair gel or something to weigh it down.

M: I promise you that I will not have time to style my hair with product. If we just cut it a bit shorter, will it look less poofy?

H: Yeah. We can cut it down some more...

So now I look like a 10 year old boy. But a happy, less headache-y 10 year old boy. With a pregnant belly.

My Compliments to the Chef

Elise has started drinking the cow's milk that I offer her. At first she would sip it and spit it out. Literally spit it, or let it dribble down her chin. I just let her do it and figured she would eventually get used to the taste. Sure enough, now she's drinking it.

I think that drinking the cow's milk has only cut back on her breastfeeding the smallest bit at this point. She definitely still wants lots of boobie food at night, to go to sleep by, and every time she gets hurt. If she falls over and it makes her cry, she'll come to me asking, "Mill? Mill? Mill?" She just wants the comfort of feeding for a minute or two.

Elise is big on kisses lately. She kisses everything. Cats, kids, inanimate objects. And with extreme regularity now, when she gets done breastfeeding she gets this happy, appreciative look on her face and kisses my breast 3 or 4 times. Its strange and cute. Her way of saying thank you, I suppose.

I think that weening has officially begun, but I also think that this will be a slow process.

Back Pain

I've been having lower back pain lately. From the pregnancy? Not sure. I remember having back pain with Elise... but in all honesty, lifting any one of these three kids the wrong way could easily mess up my back.

I have this one little spot on my lower right side that just hurts and hurts sometimes. I can't even put hardly any weight on my right leg when it's really going strong. Maybe that spot is the start of my sciatic nerve. I don't know.

I had pains in my sciatic nerve toward the end of my pregnancy with Elise. That sucked. This pain isn't quite as bad. And when I had sciatic nerve pain with Elise, even once I was off my feet the nerve would still tingle and feel weird for a while. With this back pain, the hurt feeling is really intense but as soon as I'm off my feet the pain goes away.

The pain comes and goes. Not sure why.

Oh Husband! I need some back rubbin'!!!

Baby Babble

Elise has a lot of words now. She's a great copycat, but she doesn't always remember those mimics long-term. When she does remember a word over and over again, I'm so proud of her.

Her sign language words are hi/bye, milk, more, food, bath, potty, and brush teeth. She made up her own little sign for "phone"-- everytime (and I do mean EVERY TIME) she hears a phone ring, she pretends she is putting a cell phone to her ear and she says, "Hi!" Also, she blows kisses. And if you say, "How old are you?" she'll hold up one finger.

Elise's spoken words are hi, milk ("mill"), mama, dada, up, no no, banana ("nana") and more. She's working on "baby," "kitty cat," and "gentle gentle" but I think only I would know what she's saying at this point.

If you ask Elise, "What does a ____ say?" she knows cat, cow, snake, monkey, and sometimes she gets dog.

Elise loves to talk. She has lots of cool baby babbles that aren't real words but they sound like they could be. I wonder if they mean anything to her, or if she's just experimenting with sound.

Babies are cool.

The Other Mommy

Husband and I met Henry and Georgia's mom the other day. We arranged it. We figured we should meet her.

She was nice. Pretty. Young.

It was awkward, but not in the way that I thought it would be. I mostly just felt really sorry for her. I expected to meet her and immediately see flaws and little things that I didn't approve of and didn't like. But mostly she just seems too trusting, too naive, too easily taken advantage of. She's not a capable mother right now because she can't protect her kids from bad people in her life. And she can't get those bad people out of her life because she's too nice to really see and understand their flaws.

So I feel sad for her. She's not a bad person. She's a too nice person.

Which in turn makes her an inadequate mother.

The stories that you hear as a foster parent are usually more complicated, more nuanced than you'd expect. I always end up feeling bad for everyone involved, in varying degrees, of course. Here, I feel mostly bad for Henry and then for Georgia, but I also feel bad for their mom. No matter what the outcome of this case is, there's going to be some loss, some people being hurt and feeling displaced.

Right now, I'm just trying to believe that no matter what happens, it will be for the best.

Heels Over Head Off the Bed

Henry sleeps in a toddler bed, which is like a shrunken little version of a regular bed and which is very low to the ground. Elise can climb onto Henry's bed by herself and often does. She stands up on the bed and wobbles around and Husband and I tell her repeatedly "Sit!"-- she now knows that command very well.

On weekday mornings I wake up and take Elise into Henry's room and get Henry dressed for school. Elise plays while I diaper and dress him.

Today, just as I finished velcroing Henry's shoes shut, I turned to see Elise falling over the footboard of Henry's toddler bed. Her head was pointed toward the ground and her feet were directly above her head. What a sight! Then her head hit the ground and her feet flipped along behind it.

Scream. Cry.

Kisses. Cuddles.

And one, "That's why Mommy tells you to sit down on the bed," just for good measure.

Somehow her nose got scraped and a tiny bit bruised in the flip fall. Elise wouldn't even LOOK at the bed all morning and most of the evening.

We're back to standing on the bed now, though.

Zoo

Took the kiddies to a zoo this weekend. In typical fashion, they weren't impressed or unimpressed. Just happy to be out doing something.

Elise was afraid of the birds, of course. She would sit in the stroller and look at them, but she whined most of the time and I had to hold her hand. I guess that when you live with four cats, birds are unexpected and strange.

The Traveling Baby Show

We traveled with the kids again this weekend. My observations:

1. The minivan was such, such, such a worthwhile investment.

2. While leaving late and driving at night might cut down on how much sleep the adults get, it also VASTLY reduces the amount of screaming you hear and the number of stops you have to make.

3. The minute the car begins to slow down, the kids will wake up. There is no such thing as, "Let's just stop real quick so I can pee/get some water/stretch my legs." Every single person in the car will need to be attended to and it will take FOREVER.

Fraidy Baby

Elise is now afraid of things. She makes this awful face and cries and snuggles into me or Husband when she sees:

1. Balloons
2. Birds

Life just got much more stressful for Baby Elise.

Long Day

Tired. Pregnant. Long day.

I'm just really glad that there are no more saber toothed tigers or alligators that drop on people from out of trees. The thought of those drop gators is horrifying. If I had to worry about getting eaten on top of all of this, life would be really miserable.

That Time Again

My boobs are getting big again. I didn't think they'd get bigger since I'm still breastfeeding-- I was wrong.

Teddy Love

Elise sleeps with a teddy bear now. She hugs it to her chest or throws her arm over it. It is so incredibly cute. Good lord.

Pink Eye; Puke Tummy

I woke up this morning with pink eye. It itches like craaaaaaazy. Went to my primary care doctor. All of the nurses remembered when I was first pregnant with Elise and they were excited to get to finally see her. That was nice. Then I saw the doctor and she gave me ointment to put in my eyes.

Why ointment? Why not drops? It's like I'm looking through a fogged window for about 15 minutes after I put the goop on my inner lower eyelids (as directed). And I have to do that 4 times each day!

Ringworm was my first trimester plague when I was pregnant with Elise. Considering that my children seem to go out of their way to cough and sneeze in my face, it looks like pink eye will be my plague with Dinky.

On top of red, watery, itchy, foggy eyes, I have had terrible morning sickness since last night. Awful. Terrible. No puking yet, but several dry heaving sessions.

I'm miserable right now. I'm sick. I messed up dinner last night and tonight and we had to eat other stuff than what I'd planned. Laundry is washed but not folded. My hair hasn't been brushed in days (weeks? I don't know...). My pants are starting not to fit.

I know things will get better. I know I'm just having an emotional pregnant moment. I know that there isn't enough gas in my car to make it to Canada, much less the next major city in my state.

Tomorrow will be better.

Name; Ear Infections

So, it turns out we've been mispronouncing Georgia's name. Her real name isn't Georgia, as you know. It's an uncommon name and we were pronouncing it based on the way it is spelled.

I remember being little and learning that you can pronounce a name however you want. You can spell your name S-M-I-T-H and pronounce it "Jones" if you feel so inclined. Well, this is sort of one of those instances.

The way the name is supposed to be pronounced and the way we've been saying it would be like the difference between saying Meegan and Megan. Close, but not the same name. So, oops. Our mistake. Sort of.

In other news, Elise has two ear infections AGAIN. She came down with a fever last night and I took her to the doctor this morning, thinking I was maybe over reacting. But no. It was a good thing I took her. She's back on antibiotics. Poor Baby Baby.

Preggo Yummies

The food I want ("crave" is too strong a word) this pregnancy is different than when I was pregnant with Elise. With Elise I wanted chocolate and Sour Patch Kids and Jolly Ranchers and oranges and yogurt. I can hardly look at yogurt now. I much prefer salty foods. Chips and pickles and olives. That kind of thing.

Except I do want sweet, sweet tapioca pudding... oh MAN tapioca pudding tastes delicious!!! I've always liked it, but it tastes like heaven now.

Family Ties

Today we met Henry and Georgia's older sister. She didn't seem very interested in us or the kids. Just doing her own thing. But the kids are all young, so it wasn't that out of the ordinary.

Their older sister has speech delays like Henry does. Henry needs tubes in his ears, as you know. Georgia is being referred to a specialist to see if she needs them (probably so). And their sister-- I'll call her Susannah-- apparently needs them as well. That's what Susannah's guardian said today. So I guess it runs in the family. I was also told that their mom has speech problems. I wonder if she has the same ear problem as her kids, but she never got help for it. How sad if that's the case. And how wonderful that the kids are all getting help now.

The Incredible Shrinky Dinky

According to the date of my last period, I should be about 12 weeks along in my pregnancy. At my OBGYN visit 4 weeks ago, I was told that the baby is probably a week younger than we had assumed. That would make me about 11 weeks along.

Then today, I was told that it looks like the baby is about 10 weeks old. 10 weeks, 3 days. What?!

We saw Dinky wiggle its little arms around (precious!) and we saw the heart beating, so I know the baby is alive. But somehow Dinky keeps getting younger.

How are you doing that, Dinky? Put it in a bottle and sell it, please, and make us all rich!

We're going to have to wait a couple of months to find out my real due date. That's when they send me to a specialist where they do the in depth ultrasound and measure everything exactly. We'll be able to tell how old the baby really is then.

Oh, and speaking of measurements, I weighed 115 at the OBGYN's office today. My prepregnancy weight. Still haven't gone over 115. I eat like crazy. Oh, I know I'll start gaining soon, but I am enjoying it while I can.

Family Birthday Party

We celebrated the kids' and Husband's birthdays this weekend with a party at Husband's dad's house. It was nice. Simple.

It was just family and future family. I say "future family" because Elise's baby boyfriend was there.

We blew up a kiddie swimming pool and filled it with ball pit balls. The kids loved that. Then we had strawberry short cake (well, the girls just had strawberries and whipped cream). And afterward we went outside and blew bubbles. So easy.

A word of caution. Don't buy Crayola colored bubbles. They suck.

Husband has read articles and talked for some time about how scientists have been working on making soap bubbles that come out just one color. So pink bubbles or blue bubbles or whatever. When I saw Crayola colored bubbles in the store before the party, I got all excited and bought a bunch of them, all different colors.
Well, the mixture is the consistency of paint and even though it is supposedly washable, it looks BONKERS when you get that mess all over your hands or clothes. Or baby's head. (Oops!) And since the mixture is so thick, it blows really crappy bubbles. Gigantic waste of money.

But the kids had fun. So, yay! First birthday party was a success. :)

11 Weeks?

I must be around 11 weeks along in my pregnancy. I'm still getting queezy, but it seems to be getting less intense. I'm SOOOOOO happy that my morning sickness now isn't like it was with Elise.

I remember with Elise having to eat a few saltine crackers every morning BEFORE I got out of bed, just to settle my tummy enough to sit up and walk to the bathroom. It would drive Husband batty to find cracker crumbs in the bed.

I remember immediately looking for the restroom any time I walked into a public place-- not because I had to go, but just in case I started to throw up.

I remember considering the taste and texture of food, not only for what it would be like going down but also what it would be like coming back up.

Man. This pregnancy has been exponentially easier so far.

Laterz!

My sister, brother-in-law, and baby James moved out of town recently. They moved closer to my parents and Brother-In-Law's parents. Good for them but sucks for us.

Husband and I still want to move, but we need to sell our house first and we have other considerations, too. I kind of want to have Dinky here-- I like my OBGYN practice and I liked the hospital where Elise was born. Plus, we've got the foster kids.

I know we'll move eventually. Before the kids get too old. Just not sure when it will happen.

Multiplying Baby Dream

I dreamt the other night that I had 6 babies to take care of, all so young that they had to be carried in car seats. I would go out with three infant car seats on each arm. And I distinctly remember thinking, "I should get a big stick and balance three car seats on each side, then I can just lift the stick and that will be easier."

Blood and Kisses

I got my first round of pregnancy bloodwork done on Friday. Being pregnant turns you into a human pin cushion, I swear.

I don't even know what they're testing for in this first bit of blood. Other than HIV/AIDS. I had to sign a special sheet consenting to allow the lab to test for HIV/AIDS. Why is that different than any other disease they test for? I don't have to sign a special sheet when they test for diabetes.

Friday and Saturday my arm was sore where the nurse/phlebotomist/whatever took my blood. Then tonight I noticed a gigantic yellow and green bruise up my arm. Ugh! Those people always bruise the crap out of my arms. What are they doing? Poking straight through my veins and out the other side?

Anyhow, let me talk about something nice now. Tonight I got to give Elise cuddles and kisses until she fell asleep. Kisses all over her pretty little face. It's been a while since I've kissed her to sleep and it was so wonderful.

I do love being a mommy.

Baby Belly

My belly is looking all roundish. Even though Dinky in fact lives somewhere deep in my nether regions, my uterus is growing and pushing everything up and out. This is the sucky part of pregnant body, where I just look chubby.

1 Year Old Check Up

Elise had her 1 year old well child visit today. Four shots! Poor baby!

She is 28 inches long (12th percentile) and weighs 18 lbs 5 oz (10th percentile). She's so liiiiiiiiiittle! Except for her noggin. That measures in the 60th percentile.

Elise's ear infections have finally cleared up. So she doesn't have to go see an ear/nose/throat doctor. That's good news.

I think I can still call Elise Baby Baby because she's still a tiny-sized baby. Today a stranger said to me, "How old is she? She looks too little to be walking!" My teensy weensy!

Nice To Be Average

Henry had a doctor's appointment today. The doctor looked at what percentile Henry's weight was at for his age when he came to live with us about three months ago and then looked at what percentile his weight is at now.

"Look at the difference! He was below 15% and now he's right at 50%! You guys are doing very well with him. It's amazing how quickly children can improve when they're in the right environment."

Yay!

Baby's First Birthday

This time last year, I was holding and cuddling my baby for the first time. Amazing.

I want to say something profound to you, Elise. I want to explain how much you've grown in the past year and tell you how much you've changed my life for the better. I just can't find the words that even begin to express how I feel about you.

I'm the luckiest mommy in the world. Thank you for being mine, Elise.

Not A Baby, Baby

This time last year I was in labor. I'd already gone to the hospital and they sent me home telling me it wasn't time yet. But then my water broke a few hours later.

This time last year, I was still waiting to meet the most amazing person ever.

Oh, Elise! I'm so glad you're here!

Baby Birthday Presents

All three of the kids have birthdays coming up soon. Husband and I went shopping for presents this weekend.

The kids have more toys and clothes than they could ever need. They're so young, they won't even really remember their birthdays this year, anyhow. So we decided to get them each something meaningful-- a keepsake that they can enjoy later.

It took us a long time to find the right presents. We looked at gold baby bracelets for the girls, little Precious Moments birthday figurines, piggy banks with engravable plaques. Nothing seemed right.

Finally we picked out a charm for each of the girls at Swarovski. They're sweet and babyish-- little duckies-- and they can be worn on a necklace or put on a charm bracelet. And for Henry we got an i.d. bracelet that won't fit him until he's a bit bigger, and this dogtag-style necklace that he could wear anytime. We need to get Henry's gift engraved but we want to think about what we'll put on it first.

I'm really happy with the gifts we got them. I hope they like them some day, too.

Baby Dreams

I had a dream the other night that I woke up in bed with the baby's head half out of my lady parts, but I couldn't push it out the rest of the way. I kept asking people to help me-- first I asked Husband, then I started calling my family-- and no one took me seriously. No one would bring me to the hospital.

Then I had a dream last night that I was in labor in the hospital and they told me that my son was going to be enormous and I wouldn't be able to push him out. I asked how big he was and they told me some number over 10 pounds and I couldn't believe it.

I don't think that these dreams are rooted in my own anxieties about my current pregnancy. I think that I'm having dreams based on my sister's recent experience with the labor and delivery of her son. James's baby noggin couldn't fit out of her pelvis and after over three hours of pushing, she had a c-section. So I guess my brain is processing that info through the filter of my own pregnancy.

And/or my body is planning on growing a mini sumo wrestler.

A Civil Day

Today we took the kids to a Civil War battle re-enactment. Husband and I had heard about the event on the radio and as neither one of us had ever been to one, we decided to go. It was pretty cool.

We only went for about an hour. We caught some of the last part of the re-enactment, but as the muskets and cannons were pretty loud, we didn't watch for too long. The kids seemed not to mind the noise, but we didn't want to subject them to too much of it.

Then we sat down for a snack and Georgia projectile vomited everywhere. All over herself, all over the stroller, all over my hand, and as Elise had turned in the double stroller to see what was going on, all over Elise's hand. Disgusting. But we came prepared and got everything cleaned up and went on with our day. We watched some medical re-enactment demonstrations before we left.

It was all actually more interesting than Husband or I expected. And the kids were really well behaved. I think that they were just happy to be out of the house and sitting somewhere with lots of unusual stuff to look at.

Going to the re-enactment was a nice part of our day. I don't personally understand the appeal in being a re-enactor, but I'm glad that there are people who are willing to do it.

Headache

My head has hurt for two days now. Sickness? Pregnancy pains? Ponytail too tight? Who knows. Yes. All of the above.

I'm not prone to headaches, but I did get them when I was pregnant with Elise. So maybe this is a Dinky headache.

You kids make my head hurt!

Evil Santa Says "Ear Tubes"

Henry's ear/nose/throat doctor looks like an evil Santa Claus. He's big and round and he has a scraggly white beard and long, scraggly fingernails. He'd be perfectly cast in a holiday-themed slasher film. In fact, if he'd walked into the room today with a bloody axe over his shoulder I'd have said, "Yes, of course," and be as unsurprised as someone can possibly be in a situation like that.

But there was no axe. And he didn't "examine" Henry's ears with ice picks. Instead he said that Henry needs tubes in his ears. It will improve Henry's hearing, his speech, and his balance because it will let the fluid drain from behind his ear drums.

You're probably right, Evil Santa.

So Henry will be having some out-patient ear chopping done soon, courtesy one of the creepiest doctors I've ever met. And Evil Santa will then give Henry the gift of hearing. Maybe you aren't all bad after all, scary man.

Climbing Mt. Everest

Please let me be peaking. Please let me be peaking.

I read that most women experience their worst morning sickness between weeks 8 and 9, then it starts to decline. I'm in the middle of week 8 right now. Please let me be peaking.

With Elise, my morning sickness lasted longer than it does for the typical person. It started around week 7 and lasted until about week 16 instead of week 12, like the books and websites suggest. But every pregnancy is different! I'm not throwing up as much this time! Maybe Dinky will be kinder to me.

Please let me be peaking.

Pregnancy Breaks My Pooper

I'm constipated. It started last night.

Oh man. It sucks.

I thought with Elise that I was constipated mostly because of the anti-nausea medicine that I was on. Nope. Apparently my babies like to grab a hold of my lower intestine and make one normal bowel movement take all day to come out.

Which also makes me feel very queezy.

I threw up tonight, too. On the up side, I'd had a strawberry milkshake a few hours earlier and my puke tasted like strawberries.

That's my silver lining for this evening. At least my vomit tasted like strawberries.

Not Feeling So Great

Blah. I don't want to talk.

The first trimester sucks.

Pick Your Nose

Elise now shows us where her nose is by sticking her right index finger up her right nostril. Every time. "Where is Elise's nose?" Boing! Finger up her nose!

While technically still correct, I think that this is behavior that should probably be corrected.

6th Tooth, 8 Weeks, Kiddie Updates

Elise has toofie #6 now. Four up top and two on the bottom. And I must be about 8 weeks along in my pregnancy. Babies keep growing!

Also, we've gotten a few updates on the situation with the foster kids. There was a non-relative friend-of-the-family type of person who had expressed interest in taking Henry (and Georgia if need be), but Case Manager has decided that the kids won't be moving in with that person. There's a really good reason for coming to that conclusion-- nothing that is the non-relative's fault-- and this is probably best for everyone in the long run.

There was a relative that was interested in taking Georgia, but that person has failed to complete all of the home study information that is required, and so Case Manager thinks at this point that it is unlikely that Georgia will be moved to live with the relative. Of course that isn't an official, final decision so I wouldn't be shocked to hear that things have changed in a week or two.

So, for now, we're still a family of 5, plus Dinky. And 4 cats.

Cutie Patootie

Today Elise grabbed my ears and kissed me on my nose. It was the cutest thing ever and almost made me cry.

Henry's Hearing

Henry has speech delays and balance problems. I suspected it may have something to do with his ears, so I got him a referral to an ear, nose, and throat doctor.

I'm so glad that I followed my intuition. The doctor said that he has fluid behind his ear drums and gave us a referral to another specialist. At this next doctor's office, Henry will do a test to measure how much fluid is behind his tympanic membrane, which will help the doctors decide if he needs tubes in his ears.

I'm really happy about this. Of course, I don't want there to be anything WRONG with Henry... but he does have problems and so I'm glad his problems look like they can be resolved.

I'll let you know how the test goes.

Exhausted

The word for the day is "tired." Oh man. I mean, I can function like this, but given the opportunity I would have slept at least half of the day away.

Let me be the first to tell you that you do not get any less tired with your second pregnancy. In fact, I heard that women are more tired with each successive pregnancy. I wonder if that's true, or if it just seems that way, since you have less time for yourself when you have more kids.

The Inevitable

First vomit. Brushing my teeth before bed. Goddamnit.

I See Med School In Elise's Future

Elise knows where her head is, where her tummy is, she can find her nose and other people's noses, and she can find other people's eyes. She gets "mouth" for herself and other people sometimes, and she can find her own toes sometimes.

Elise likes noses so much now that when she goes up to one of the cats she no longer reaches for its tail, but instead touches her index finger to the tip of its nose. Super cute.

The World According to Barf

Morning sickness was BAD today. No puking yet, but I'm honestly shocked. I feel so awful.

I've been fantasizing about this giant hammocky swing full of pillows and soft blankets where I can sit all day and be cradled in warmth and soothing calm. Then I think "that sounds oddly like a big womb" and I realize that even in my fantasies I can't escape pregnant thoughts.

Another Trip to the ER

This time for Henry. He grabbed at the automatic door on our minivan just as it was closing and his thumb got smashed in the door.

It was scary. We didn't realize that the door had locked and Husband and I were pulling on the door, trying to make it open. Henry was standing there screaming, trying to pull his hand out of the door, and we couldn't figure out why the door was still closed on his finger. I thought that maybe his hand was shoved in there and jamming the door. But then Husband realized what was going on and reached through and unlocked the door. His thumb looked CRAZY, so we went right to the emergency room.

Henry screamed the whole way there.

His hand was bruised and cut, but no broken bones and no stitches needed. I feel so bad. I was standing RIGHT NEXT TO HIM when it happened. Poor little guy.

He's okay. It was a crummy experience, but he'll heal.

I Spy Dinky

Yesterday was a big day for me, not just because James was born but I also got my first glimpse of Dinky.

First ultrasound. I'm definitely pregnant. And my little ball of baby has a heartbeat.

I had to have the kind of ultrasound where they stick a wand up your hooha rather than the one where the rub the device over your belly. Well, the midwife tried the belly one first, but when she couldn't locate the baby she used the up-the-lady-parts wand.

I thought I was almost 8 weeks along, but she thinks that I'm actually about a week earlier. So I'd be 7 weeks now. My period wasn't super predictable yet since I was only just starting to ovulate again since giving birth, so the date of the start of my last menstrual cycle isn't the best indicator for when I got pregnant. Based on the baby's current size, I'm just now 7 weeks along. I'll have another ultrasound at my next OBGYN's visit and they'll compare the new baby measurement to the old one and then give me a more accurate gestational age and due date.

Oh, Dinky! EVERYTHING about you is a suprise!

Welcome, Baby James

James is here! He was born via c-section this morning. He weighed 6 lbs 13 oz. Cute as can be. My sister and new nephew and doing really well.

We're all so happy!

Cousin James

Sister is in labor! So we'll be meeting cousin James within the next 24 hours or so...

First Baby Dream

I had a dream last night that I had the new baby. Husband and I had decided not to find out the baby's sex before it was born, so when the nurse handed me the baby I quickly opened its diaper (it was swaddled in a blanket and wearing a diaper).

A girl!

Valentine's Day Present From Elise

Today Elise signed for "potty," I took her, and she did a big pee with lots of farts. YESSSSSSS!!! SHE told ME it was time to go potty, instead of me just guessing when she needs to go. Potty training, here we come!

She's been using her potty chair for a while now, rather than me holding her over the toilet. She likes the potty chair. She sits right down on it as soon as I take her diaper off. Sometimes I have to make the "pssssss" noise to cue her to pee, and sometimes she just goes on her own.

I can say without a doubt that the E.C. has already helped us with potty training. Elise is sooooo much more aware of her body than, say, Henry is. She's very comfortable with using the potty, she knows just what to do with the right cue, and she's naturally learning to eliminate as soon as she sits on the potty. Potty training with Elise at this stage in the game is super stress free.

I know that if I'd really stuck with E.C. and been very consistent, I could probably have Elise mostly out of diapers by now. But our lives were sort of chaotic because of being foster parents. I'm very happy with the successes we've had and the benefit we continue to enjoy from E.C.

Good pottying, Elise!

Baby Burps

I am burping like CRAZY today!

I keep feeling really nauseated, then I'll burp and feel kinda better for a few minutes. Then it builds back up again. Ugh. I keep telling myself, "It's better than actually puking... It's better than actually puking..."

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

Henry gave me an early Valentine's Day present tonight. A giant half-formed, half-diarrhea poop in the bath tub.

It was so disgusting. I can't even begin to imagine how the kids will top the overwhelming grossness of this one.

But they will.

They will.

In other news, Elise has gotten her 5th tooth. Her top left side, next to her left front tooth. The right one is about to pop through, too.

Oh! And I still haven't thrown up. Yay! Queezy? Hells yes. But not even a dry heave yet.

I decided that Elise's new "buggah" word might actually be "brother" and I told Husband about my theory. Then a few minutes later Elise shouted something that sounded exactly like "A GIRL!" so now I don't know anymore.

Whatever it is, it better not poop in the tub. Ever.

Feelin' It

Oh yeah. I'm pregnant. I've felt like I'm about to puke all day long. ALL. DAY. LONG. It's made me very cranky.

Go easy on me, Dinky.

Close One

Tonight Elise was breastfeeding as she was getting ready to go to sleep. She would suck, unlatch, suck, unlatch. Her eyes looked heavy. I thought she was fighting off sleep.

Finally, I decided to just lay her in her bed, as the constant sucking and unlatching was getting to be a bit much. I pulled down my shirt and bent over to give her a kiss good night. And just as my lips touched hers...

SHE VOMITED ON MY MOUTH

Then she vomited all over my clothes, herself, and my bed.

Remember that scene in the movie "Stand By Me" where the boys are telling a story and one of them talks about some pie eating contest where one of the contestants pukes into the mouth of another contestant which makes that person throw up and it starts this chain reaction of people puking in each other's mouths? Yeah. I was THIIIIIIIS close to that happening in real life.

Unbelievable.

So Far So Good

7 weeks! And so far, this pregnancy is going SO much smoother than the first. Perhaps I'm counting my chickens before they hatch, but if I recall correctly I was dry heaving by this point with Elise. I'm getting queezy, but I haven't had to make a dash for the bathroom yet. My spotting has been light and only lasted for a few days, whereas it was much heavier with Elise. And all of my other symptoms, like the night sweats, have seemed less intense.

Oh! And my crotch bulge has already started showing! Do you remember the crotch bulge from before? It's the very start of the baby bump. In the first trimester, a little bump starts to show just above my pubic bone as my uterus grows up and out. No one would notice but Husband and me-- it's not like "what happened to that lady's crotch?" or anything.

I started to notice the crotch bulge around week 10 with Elise. But here I am at week 7 and Dinky is already making an appearance!

Also, just like with Elise, the fat from the lower part of my stomach has begun to migrate up my belly toward my rib cage. I guess the baby is just taking over down there and clearing out the unnecessary extras. Putting my belly fat up in the belly attic.

So, if you saw me naked from the side, you would see some milky mommy boobies, a stomach with the curvy womanliness sitting slightly higher than usual, and then a crotch bulge. Sexy.

Buggah, Buggah, Buggah

Elise has been saying "buggah buggah buggah!" all day today. A few times, she shouted, "booger!!!" which is Husband's least favorite word in the world, so it's pretty weird that she's saying it spontaneously.

Buggah, buggah, buggah!

The Origin of Dinky

Okay. Here's how it happened.

Six weeks after Elise was born, I dutifully went on birth control. I took the mini pill, which you can take while breastfeeding. But here's the thing about the mini pill-- you have to take it at the EXACT same time every day, or it doesn't work. And I was really lousy at doing that. Plus, I didn't even get my period until about 7 months after Elise was born. It felt like I was taking the pill for no reason.

I know. I sound like some sort of mental patient trying to justify going off her meds. "I'm fine now! I don't need those pills!" But do you know how HARD it is to actually get pregnant? A LOT of things have to happen just right. And I'm not 18 years old anymore-- my age alone lowers my odds of conceiving.

I decided to stop taking the pills altogether. Here was our logic (yes, Husband was in on it, too): 1) I'm not taking the pills right anyway so they aren't being as effective as they should be; 2) it took us a long time before we got pregnant with Elise so we're clearly not hyper-fertile; 3) we're probably just wasting money on these stupid pills and stressing ourselves out about not taking them at the right time every day; 4) I'm still breastfeeding and even though Elise isn't being breastfed exclusively now, it must offer SOME protection; 5) with three small children in the house, we don't get a whole lot of mommy-daddy time anyhow; 6) even if I did get pregnant, we'd be very surprised but very happy.

Surprise!

We thought that the odds were against us getting pregnant again so soon. But we won the baby lottery! Jackpot! My baby pump was primed, as Husband said. Dinky was meant to be.

Happy 11 Months!

Oh, Elisey! 11 months! You're already walking, signing, saying words, throwing temper tantrums, eating regular food, giving kisses. And now you're going to be a big sister. So much has changed!

Except for one thing. You are still my sweet Beastie and I love you with all my heart.

Minivan Acquired

We bought a minivan today. 2005 Toyota Sienna. 8 passenger. I haven't even seen it yet, but I trust that Husband made a good choice.

We were looking only at Odyessys or Siennas. This Sienna was nearby and in our price range.

I'm sooooo excited to be able to take the whole family out in one vehicle. We can read together in the car again! Husband said that 4 car seats will fit easily in the back. Woo hoo!

Mommy Van

Husband and I are looking at minivans. Because that's where we are in life. We need to haul around lots of kids and all of their crap. Right now, if we want to go out with all of the kids, we have to take two cars because the kids all need car seats and you can't fit three car seats in the back of one car. We need a car and a half. We need a minivan.

Those tiny little people we call "babies" sure take up a LOT of space.

Slight Queeze; Elise Feeding Cheerios; Foster Weirdo

Today I have had some slight queeziness. Morning sickness is right around the corner. If I weren't so tired I would run out and stuff myself with pad thai and dark chocolate, as a fond farewell to delicious food.

Elise, on the other hand, would stuff me full of Cheerios given the opportunity. Husband convinced her to feed him Cheerios the other day, and now she wants to share them at every chance she gets. It's cute.

Good thing I got a big dose of cute this morning, because this afternoon was heavy on the not-cute. I had to take Henry for some shots after lunch today. No fun. And on top of that, I met this super-weird foster mom at Henry's doctor's office. I'll spare you the details, but basically if you think of every negative stereotype of a foster parent that popular culture has provided you with, that was this lady. I truly feel sorry for any kid that gets placed in her house. Husband and I might not be the best parents in the world, but we are a far cry from that nut job. Anyone who justifies yelling obscenities at a kid by saying, "I told her she was ACTING like an asshole, I didn't say she WAS an asshole-- there's a difference, you know?" probably shouldn't be licensed to deal with abused children. And she's telling this to a total stranger, mind you.

Ugh. If she hadn't told me that her licensed might get pulled, I'd have told my licensing agent about her myself.

Glad This Week Is Over

What a crazy week. On Monday I got a call from the day care that Georgia has pink eye and I had to go get her and bring her home. On Tuesday I had a hellacious morning at Georgia's doctor's office and then she was diagnosed with pink eye and two ear infections. On Wednesday I took Elise to her doctor's office and she, too, was diagnosed with two ear infections. Then Wednesday night we had our trip to the ER... during which time, in the waiting room, Elise befriended an old drunk man on crutches who had no teeth. She seriuosly adored him. Thursday was a home visit from the kids' case manager, where we got a whole lot more "we don't really know what's going on yet." Then Friday was back to Georgia's doctor's office for some shots.

Sucky week.

Also, since I found out I'm pregnant I've lost two pounds. Normally I'd be thrilled about the weight loss. But this isn't really the best time for it. I guess that feeding two extra people with my body is taking its toll.

I'm eating like CRAZY though. Three full meals plus two snacks every day. I thought for sure I'd be gaining weight.

It IS kind of nice to be able to eat massive amounts of food and not have to worry about gaining weight.

I'm just afraid that once my morning sickness starts, I won't make enough milk to feed Elise. Or that if I have to go on that medicine again, I'll have to stop breast feeding her. I'm trying not to think about that too much, because it gets me upset.

Oh yeah. I'm getting all emotional. Hormones! Mood swings, slow digestion, and night sweats are all back.

But tomorrow is a new day. And when you're taking care of four babies, all you can do is take life one day at a time.

Getting Veeeeeeery Sleeeeeeepyyyy

The tireds are starting. I've been so tired yesterday and today. So tired. I even got to sleep in a bit today (until 8:00!) and that didn't help at all.

Hello again, first trimester.

6 weeks!

Happy 6 weeks in my belly, Dinky!

Husband and I have given the baby its fetus name-- Dinky. Elise's fetus name was Speck, you'll recall. My dad said that if the baby turns out to be a boy, he might not appreciate the name Dinky. But I think he'll just be glad we didn't call him Teeny Weeny and leave it at that.

When I was 6 weeks pregnant with Elise, I FELT pregnant. Everything about pregnancy was new and I could really focus on my body and the changes it was going through. Now, I have 3 babies to take care of so I can't turn my attention inward as often. Plus, my memories of pregnancy are of feeling very sick and very uncomfortable and awkward. I don't feel those things yet, so I don't really feel like there's a baby inside me.

The only ways that I feel different so far are that I can tell that my digestive system is starting to slow down and my belly button is already starting to pop out. I think my belly button is popping because my digestive system is staying fuller longer and it's popping my hernia out a bit. I'm slightly more gassy with some burps and farts, my body's usual bathroom rhythms are different now, and I feel fuller after I eat. So I guess that there are hormones bopping around in my body, changing the way things work. Nothing dramatic, though.

So far, so good.

Conversations

The other night Husband and I were talking about our family plan for children and he realized that I want more kids than he does.

Husband: I love you. I love you, and I will never divorce you. But I WILL run away.

Me: You'll run away?

H: Probably to Mexico.

M: Well, at least I'll know where to start looking for you.

H: Mexico's really hot. Maybe I won't go to Mexico.

M: Canada, then?

H: I will run away to Canada. I'm serious about that.

Then tonight we were watching episodes of an old tv show called "Freaks and Geeks" and talking about the kid who plays the younger brother.

M: He's so adorable!

H: He really is.

M: He's so cute, I want to breast feed him. That's what I want to do to cute things now. I want to breast feed them. No matter what it is. Like, awww, a cute kitten-- I should breast feed it.

H: Yeah. Or Justin Bieber.

M: Yeah. Or Justin Bieber.

Baby's First Trip to the ER

She's fine.

Elise's little umbilical hernia got all discolored and bulging, so I took her to the emergency room tonight. 4 1/2 hours, one ultrasound, and 2 x-rays later, the diagnosis is that she has some sweet little baby belly fat trapped in front of the hole of her hernia and as the hole is closing, it's killing the fat. The fat is dying, and as it dies it's bleeding and making what looks like a bruise. The doctor said that this isn't common, but that she'll be fine. It will probably hurt her a bit, but she'll heal and her body will take care of the dead fat cells.

I'm insanely tired. Just know that Elise is okay, emergency waiting rooms are full of wacky, wacky people, and Elise made friends tonight with every single person who would make eye contact with her.

A List Detailing Why Today Sucked

1. I am sick. I'm congested, I have a cough, I have a headache. On top of that, Elise got horrible sleep last night, which means I got horrible sleep, which means my body has had no time to heal itself. And since I'm pregnant, there's not really any medicine that I can take to make myself feel better.

2. I had to take Georiga to the doctor this morning as a walk-in. Her doctor's office is soooooo inefficient. I had Georgia and Elise with me, all of us sick. And I was at the doctor's office for nearly 3 1/2 hours. I got up early as could be this morning and we were the FIRST walk-in patients. But we still waited over 3 hours.

We were in the waiting room for two hours. I sang, I danced, I clapped, I tipped the babies upside down-- anything to keep them happy. And as we got called to the back, a man who had been sitting near us said to me, "Good job!" That was nice.

Then we spent another HOUR waiting in the exam room for the doctor. Yep. Georgia has pink eye. And two ear infections, it turns out.

3. Husband has pink eye now, too. It started this morning.

4. Elise will have to go to her doctor tomorrow; she has a fever and a terrible cough and runny nose. Given Georgia's secret ear infections (she doesn't even have a fever), I got concerned for Elise and made her an appointment.

5. I started bleeding today. I had bleeding during my pregnancy with Elise, too, you'll recall. Now that I've been through it once, I didn't freak out. I know that my body can carry a pregnancy full-term. If I'm miscarrying now, it's probably because the baby isn't forming correctly, and there's nothing I can do about that. I just have to wait and see if the baby sticks around or not. That's what's hard about the bleeding-- once it begins you just have to wait and see if it's going to get heavier or stop. So I'm waiting to see.

Tomorrow will be better. It has to be.